Clutch Contract: Pistorius, Robinson Cano, Mindy McCready & Wilpon’s Casino

Lori Levine • February 21, 2013 • 27 Comments

NEW YORK, NY – As I sit here and watch all the news come out of the Oscar Pistorius case, it makes me think of actual depressing sports news, like potentially losing Robinson Cano. With Cano’s agent looking to secure a 10-year, $200 million-plus deal, it seems more likely the Debt Ceiling will be officially solved and/or Israel and Palestine will be allies before a deal that large for that much time will be approved by Hal Steinbrenner. Especially after Scott Boras put together A-Rod’s 2007 deal, and then A-Rod treated the Yankees like he treats overly muscular blondes.

It’s true that Cano is a key player,and he is the best at what he does for the same reason I am the best at what I do. I am 90 pounds and can clear out a buffet like nobody’s busines – and Cano’s position at 2nd base makes him the best 2nd base hitter. He also plays the best defense by a 2nd baseman. Some people would have argue Chase Utley was up there, too. mccreadyMovie But those are the same people that probably cared about a Destiny’s Child reunion, which coincidentally, was also the last time Utley was healthy.

If Cano’s deal goes anywhere near where Captain Jeter’s went when he had to renegotiate, I think it would be easier for me to watch the recently pulled, Mindy McCready porn video. And, easier for me to believe that Lebron is a better player than Jordan… as Isiah said. The only thing that would be better for baseball than Cano and Boras accepting a 7-year deal at $170 million would be if the Wilpons got that casino they wanted at CitiField approved. arod and two broads Meet_The_Matts That way they’d make back some of their Bernie Madoff losses and then their fans might have actually had the chance at winning.

P.S.. I’d like to wish a happy belated 50th birthday to a legend, Charles Barkley, who said “I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I’ve got a technique. It’s called just go get the damn ball.”

Different Matt, tomorrow.

Filed in: Lori Levine
Tagged with: Derek Jeter • Hal Steinbrenner • Lori Levine • Meet The Matts • MeetTheMatts • MLB • NBA • New York Mets • Oscar Pistorius • Robinson Cano • Scott Boras • sports comedy • sports commentary • Yankees

About the Author (Author Profile)

Lori Levine is one of those people who should always be in a bikini. Don't be fooled by the fact that Howard Stern voted her his Hottest Fan, though. Her "degenerate dad" raised her at the track in New Jersey and watching the Yankees, NY Giants, NY Rangers and Knicks. She knows sports better than 99.9% of us and she's a wise-ass with the brain to make it all work.

DannyBax

If you think the fans are trash at Citi Field now, wait till the casino gets in there.
- Cam James
  
  As an independent fan I will gladly say that i would rather sit next to the cowbell guy ringing that piece of KAKA in my ear all game at citifield than have to put any of the varied levels of douchebaggery at new yankee stadium.
  - http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts
    
    The stadiums’ denizens are equally trashy. But we prefer Flushing Trash… Wait, that could be a game or something…
    - Lori Levine
      
      Fans can bet against the Mets though.
http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

Lori! You weigh ninety pounds?!?! How short are you girl? And i’m with you on Barkley. He’s just awesome. (And everyone knows I HATE hoops..so that’s saying something). I saw Barkley in a Denver airport once… we smiled at each other.

Girl.. that blonde ain’t overly muscular. You can see the tone… which is nice!

There was a great article recently on how the Mets have more than half their payroll going to Santana and Wright. Then there’s another $21 million that went to buy out Bay’s contract.. and starting in 2011, Bobby Bonilla started getting his Mets ‘pension’ to the tune of $1.2 Million for 25 years. I enjoyed it because everyone always points to the bad deals and payroll hefts the Yanks have (and boy do they). So it’s refreshing to have some media light on that.

Steriod syringes found at Pistorius’ place. Shocking. Pfft.
- AngryWard
  
  I don’t think Levine was really referring to the blonde in that pic as muscular but, she’s right, A-Rod likes female body builder types, which is creepy even for that preening steroid freak.
  - http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts
    
    Don’t think we didn’t notice you trying to “de-sexize” Lori by calling her “Levine” because we did, A-Dubya. Give it up. It’s not possible. Although we’re a bit ticked she didn’t have a picture up today.
    - Lori Levine
      
      Ward, that’s a former wrestler, look at her arms!
- Big Fat Toad
  
  90 lbs I can spin like a propeller.
http://twitter.com/CheesyBruin Cheesy Bruin

Lori, darling…90 pounds? My treat for a double bacon bleu cheese burger and a milk shake We see your pix here from time to time and I’m guessing twenty-five of those pounds are boobage. Rodin couldn’t have sculpted a better bod.
- Lori Levine
  
  Let’s do this!
  - http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner
    
    Shake Shack! Westport! I’m in (after a long trainer ride or bike outside).
http://twitter.com/CheesyBruin Cheesy Bruin

A-Roid mistakenly thinks somebody wanted a picture of him. I would’ve yelled “Outta the way a**hole”!
AngryWard

If I’m the Yankees, I make Cano a deal somewhere in the neighborhood of six years and $15 million per. That’s plenty fair. He’ll be 35 or 36 when the deal’s up. The days of the 10-year $200 million deal are done. If Boras and Cano start talking ridiculous years and dollars the Yankees should tell them both to go piss up a f**king rope. To be honest they would be taking a huge chance even offering the deal I just laid out. Did anyone else see his performance in last year’s playoffs? With much tougher drug testing now you have no idea what you’ll be getting when you sign a player to a long term deal. I’m not saying Cano uses, but like dozens upon dozens of players I don’t think a guy who hit 14 home runs at age 25 in 2008 and 33 at age 29 in 2012 is above a little scrutiny.
- bosoxbruins04
  
  What about the deal King Felix signed in Seattle? Those deals aren’t dead and that was for a pitcher! Steroids or not, look at what Clemens did after the Red Sox let him leave because he was old.
  - AngryWard
    
    King Felix is kinda a different story. He’s the face of the franchise, arguably the best pitcher in baseball, and only 26 years old, which means he’ll still be only 33 when his seven-year deal is up. The Mariners had to do it. He wanted to remain in Seattle and any number of teams (especially the Yankees) easily would have given him that deal, if not more.
    - http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner
      
      Always defending your Mariners.
      - AngryWard
        
        Of course. Someone has to.
      - http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner
        
        Because Ichiro won’t anymore. (Ooooooh!!)
http://twitter.com/Different_Matt Different Matt

10 years is far too long for a baseball contract. Ward is right. In this era of more stringent drug testing in baseball, I don’t think you’re going to see many deals longer than 7 years because these guys start to fall apart at 35.
- http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts
  
  Paul Molitor fell “together” after 35. He was oft-injured before that and went on to be a World Series cog for two teams. So what we’re saying Diff, is: In your face!
- Lori Levine
  
  Not if Boras has his say, he wants 10.
  - http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner
    
    He will get as long as a contract as he wants.. and the yankees will gladly pay. That.. is Yankee legacy (sad as it is).
http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

Cano will end up with the Los Angeles Angels of The West Coast Territory with an 8-year deal worth 200 million American dollars. With him, Poo-holes, Jittery Josh Hamilton and “Don’t Call Me Steve” Trout, they will win ONE World Series.
WestCoastCraig

Holy crap, I didn’t know anything about Mindy McCready except a vague familiarity with her name from that whole Clemens thing…I just wiki’d her…holy crap!
- AngryWard
  
  The Arkansas Tourism Office may want to try to get rid of that page. She was like a one-person Faulkner novel on steroids.
Cactus77

I don’t mean to nit pick, but didn’t Destiny’s Child technically have a reunion for one glorious moment at the Super Bowl?