2013: Worst Yankee Team Ever

Cam James • March 7, 2013 • 28 Comments

Worst Yankee Team?

TAMPA, FLORIDA – In the budding spring of 2013, I can’t help but feel like this will be the year the Bronx Bombers finally embarrass themselves with a losing season.. the first since 1992. In fact, I am calling it right now: The New York Yankees will have a losing season. I’d like to say they will be the Worst Yankee Team Ever, but I won’t. Realistically, this year is going to play out like 1989…

In 1989, the season started by finding out that Dave Winfield was done for the season with a back injury. Fast forward to 2013. Who isn’t injured? There isn’t enough deer antler spray in circulation to cute the ills of Granderson, Tex, A-Roid and A-Roids muscle hookers.

Furthermore in 1989 the Blue Jays walked away with the division and this year that is a distinct possibility. Towards the end of that year, the administration did the unthinkable and traded away their only valuable pieces in Al Leiter and gulp…. Wait for it…. Ricky Henderson. To follow suit, this year that would mean that you can say goodbye to good old Robbie Cano. Cashman will be a cash-man on the player he basically heralded as the greatest player he has ever made a decision on – that’s what GMs do. Beyond that you might as well trade guys like Brett Gardner, Eduardo Nunez and any other player that someone else might want.

Blue Jays Fans: 1989 & Now.

Now I am really going for it… Joe Girardi looks like Bucky Dent. Everything about this team screams failure and I for one, thoroughly enjoy it. That said, I don’t want the Yankees raiding my Cardinals for leadership - like they did the last time they stunk. That’s right. Joe Torre was the manager of the Red Birds first. I guess we should have kept him.

At least Cashman won’t get caught for hiring a private investigator to look into anything A-Roid is doing, like Steinbrenner with Howie Spira about Dave Winfield. This isn’t because Cashman wouldn’t do it – he might - but he doesn’t want to be seen getting an A-Roid gift-basket the next morning.

$A-Rod and Tex hurt Meet_The_Matts$

Stay tuned for a Yankee fan that can’t accept the truth I speak, Different Matt (the new Pope), tomorrow.

Filed in: Cam James
Tagged with: Alex Rodriguez • Curtis Granderson • Dave Winfield • Howie Spira • Mark Teixeira • Meet The Matts • MeetTheMatts • MLB • New York Mets • sports blog • sports comedy • sports commentary • Toronto Blue Jays • Yankees

About the Author (Author Profile)

Cam James hails from Missouri and is a down-the-line St. Louis fan: Rams, Cards, Blues... Thus his "Ram Rules" column. He hates Kansas basketball, been a wrestler, dabbled in Ultimate Fighting and now plays hardball for a team based out of Harlem. Oh, and he's Opie Taylor white.

Big Fat Toad

I like today’s Jays fan.
- http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts
  
  Indeed.
http://twitter.com/CheesyBruin Cheesy Bruin

If a Yankees executive is smart he’d whisper in the Steinbrenner’s ears, “Sell now”.
- http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts
  
  This coming from a S.F. fan?
http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

Shut it. Shut your filth mouth, Cam James!!
- Cam James
  
  Get it Cookie… I always thought women were more attractive when they are pissed off at me.
  - http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts
    
    No… They look great, Cookie. Nothing to worry about. Wait, it’s Lent and we can’t lie…
Jim

Mccarthy and his buddy came up for Mets/Blue Jays a few years ago and had a blast. Great place to see a game when Toronto is good. Love this article!
- AngryWard
  
  Matt has friends? Who knew?
  - Cam James
    
    Another Country was willing to let him cross their border. Who knew?
    - jgclancy
      
      I think they assumed Dude was just being a Big Brother to a…a “special” guy and let them into Canada….all I can figure.
      Two days after my birthday—–feeling much better.
      Go Aztecs….need NCAA redular games to be over so March/April Madness can begin!
  - Sam’s-A-Fan
    
    The U.S. let him come back in? Who knew?
  - Tall Matt
    
    It was Dude and it was coercion.
    - Dude
      
      he bought my plane ticket…. to buffalo. then had me drive his rental car back across the border, neglecting to tell me the driver window didn’t go down… i had a fun time explaining that to the customs guy with a whopping hangover. i told him i went to toronto for the mets/ jays game, and fortunately i remembered the score when he asked me who won… definitely would have been strip searched if not. then managed to make my flight home with literally two minutes to spare, sprinting to the gate… had to go standby on the flight i was ticketed for… good times!
  - http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner
    
    ‘in low places.’ (God i HATE that song.)
http://twitter.com/Different_Matt Different Matt

Cam, don’t forget that the Yankees took Clueless Joe Torre and turned him into a winner.

Girardi already has his ring as a manager so he’s got Bucky beat.

That being said. The Yankees will be bad this year. Not Mets-bad, but I think the 85 wins predicted in the Prospectus won’t be far off.
- http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner
  
  ‘Not Mets bad.’ Indeed. Our first gospel in The Tao of Diff.
http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

Joe Torre was announcing for the Angels when the Yankees, to the giggles of everybody, brought him from behind the mic to manage. But he proved that team could win with Sister Torre – his nun sister – at the helm. Joe only did well in L.A. because of a juiced-up Manny… Other than that, he had an abysmal record as a manager and even ticked off a young Angry Ward.
AngryWard

This column is scracthing me right where I itch (insert your crabs joke here). I don’t want to get greedy, so let’s just say I’d be thrilled if the Yanks finished in third.
Dude

this all sounds nice cam, but i’m not jumping on the bandwagon. i used to get sweet seats for the ’89 & ’90 yankees. when they featured jesse barfield and oscar azokar. this team is not in that league sadly. i would be satisfied if they just missed the playoffs, and their fans would just be quiet. torre was the mets manager first, at least he got to the postseason with the cards
- http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner
  
  Yea. I agree with Dude on them not being THAT bad. This season may be a LEMON season for the Yankees.. but not a Bob Lemon season.
  - Dude
    
    bob lemon won a world series with the yankees, so a bob lemon season would be huge… that is not going to happen… maybe a key lime season for jc clancy
    - Dude
      
      excuse me, jg clancy
Cam James

Grantland is reading MTM!!!!! they obviously stole my idea from today. http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/9025135/the-evil-empire-new-york-yankees-to-fall
- AngryWard
  
  Cam, this has happened to me before. You write something and the same day or very next day a similar piece appears in the newspaper or elsewhere. Take it as a compliment. For the record, I liked your treatment better.
WestCoastCraig

Where’s Mel Hall when you need him?
http://www.facebook.com/people/Nicholas-Mrnarevic/1053980194 Nicholas Mrnarevic

Are they still the worst or is it just the beginning of the season and they have time to shit the bed? HOW ABOUT THEM BLUE JAYS!
- http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts
  
  Go Jays!