UPPER WEST SIDE, NYC – Rarely will I ever admit to having the tendencies of a New Yorker. In fact, the idea of me having to trade in my Missouri driver’s license before March makes me want to puke. That being said, every so often I embrace my inner New York and it translates into outward mouth vomit. Today I am channeling my mouth vomit in order to beat all of you to the chase and become the first person on this site to call for Rex Ryan’s head on a stick. That’s right. It’s the preseason and Rex should be fired faster than a you can say:
“Antonio Cromartie’s unfortunate insignificant other tripped and fell on his sperm in the men’s restroom at some club he was never at and the resulting baby definitely isn’t his, but she is suing him for child support along with the other members of the Cromartie Dozen (Steve Martin thought he had it rough), and he is leaving the country in order to play in NFL Canada, where he thinks there isn’t any legal recourse in a civil matter for a foreign national, but there actually is because Canada is really the fifty first state”…..
It is week two of the preseason and already the jets are learning hard lessons. First off, Gino Smith sucks. Wait a second, we already knew that. The guy was a hot-headed waste of talent at West Virginia who had a few good games but could not beat anyone who had a defense that could read their playbook at a 5th grade level. Rex being the arrogant sharp-ended stick that he is thought,
“Players love playing for me. If anyone can tame a wild river horse, it is me. Gino Smith will be the next RG III.”
Rex, no you can’t. No one can. RGIII is a good player who listens and learns and has done a Got Milk ad. Gino Smith is not. Gino if anything is more of a hot headed, less talented, Louis XIV chugging Vince Young. He was talking up his Heisman race on twitter when he was beating up on FCS schools. Once you are douche, you will always be a douche. That is just the way it is. At some positions like CB, WR being a douche can work. At QB it will fail you out of the league faster than you can utter:
“EJ Manuel isn’t a cocky sharp-ended stick and thus will win over his teammates and have much more of an impact on the 2013 NFL season which will probably net him a deal on a Got Milk campaign, as Buffalo must be a strong milk market - it’s one of the only places in this country where it is cold enough to drink milk outside all year round. This is merely speculation but it must be true because everything you read on the internet is true including these prophecies.”
Back to my original point… Fire Rex Ryan because he wasted a first-round pick on Gino Smith when he could have picked up something that would have at least had trade value at the end of the rookie contract. Fat putz. Excuse me…. Not as fat as he once was putz.
Filed in: Cam James