“If you are going to cheat in baseball, do it the way that they have been doing it for a century: doctor the baseball! Jon Lester had some goop in his glove, won the game and gave baseball fans everywhere some good old-fashioned intrigue and drama. He instantly made this Fall Classic, interesting. The Boston Red Sox are now villains and the St Louis Cardinals will be the martyrs. This is how it should be when you’re cheating in baseball. Hopefully we’ll get a corked bat out of this one before it’s over!” – Bart Gimatti Fan
NEW YORK, NY – The above quote was actually taken from the Comment Section of yesterday’s excellent piece by Lori Levine on A-Rod’s Crucifixion and it stirred us to post today (along with Different Matt thinking he was off because the MTM Edit Staff mistakenly said Cookie was up today). Anywho, Bart Giamatti Fan is 100% right; there are times When Is Baseball Cheating Is Okay.
Game 1 of the 2013 World Series: The Boston Red Sox drub a listless Cam James Cardinals squad 9-1 and the big story is Jon Lester’s insidious, wretched, dirty-pool play? Come now. A bit of resin on a finger doesn’t account for 7 2/3 innings in the Fall Classic. And we tip our collective caps to Mr. Lester for getting away with a tactic as old as the game itself, simply because razor bumps are now covered six ways to Sunday with the 12 cameras and latest technology.
Skinny Lenny Dykstra Corking: Do you remember a young Lenny Dykstra showing David Letterman how to cork a bat? Granted, Lenny proved later on that he was no slouch when he bilked all of Wall Street and had Jim Cramer call him a finance whiz, but he didn’t invent the wheel… or corking a bat.
Lord of the Gays: Did PEDs get Gaylord Perry the to the Hall of Fame after a career with $hit teams?! Heck no! It was Dr. Perry’s PHD in… Doctoring. He even talks about it in his book. And don’t forget that he and brother Jim Perry combined for 529 wins.
Emory Boards: Speaking of Cheating Brothers, the Perrys were only outdone by the Niekros. Phil was inducted into the Hall of Fame in 1997, after a 24-year career that ended when he was 48, with 318 wins. Joe was the slacker, only won 221 games scuffing a baseball. – Between them, they cheated their way to 539 wins.
Short Cuts: Full disclosure has us offering this dubious nugget re one of our own: Short Matt still plays hardball with Cam James on the Harlem Shaskys. He uses a corked bat (ordered of the Internet) and stands nearly a foot in front of the rubber when he pitches – and plays dumb when he eventually gets caught.
And there you have it. Forgive the tardiness of today’s post – we don’t mean to cheat you of your MTM fix.
Junoir Blaber, who likes to nap on racetrack toilets, tomorrow.
Filed in: The Matts