Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward Thursday: Break Up the Mariners and Don’t Watch March Madness

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NEW YORK, NY – This is getting ridiculous. Like everyone else, I’m tired of the pinch-hitting. You’ve read my repetitive garbage, not only should I not be playing both ends of a doubleheader, I should probably be posting only once a month at this point. But I would rather pinch-hit than see a zero in the […]

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Angry Ward: Baseball’s Newest Mind-Numbing Metrics

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BRONX, NY – Guess what, everybody? Baseball season started this morning! Yep, as stupid as this always sounds, America’s Pastime started today, a full week ahead of everyone else, with the Oakland A’s taking on the Seattle Mariners in Japan. “Buy me some sushi and green tea ice cream, I don’t care if I’m watching […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Dolan’s Dumb, Westbrook’s Wild and Odell is Out!

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BRONX, NY – Lots going on in the world of sports these days. I don’t really give a sh!t about much of it, but that’s never stopped me before. Today, I’m gonna talk a little bit about Fan Etiquette, NFL Free Agency, and Spring Training Babe Ruths, among other things. Let’s do this. Dopey Dolan & […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: To Limp and Die in LA – LeBron, Todd Gurley, and Tough Times at Santa Anita

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BRONX, NY – Due to lack of interest, we interrupt “An Oral History of Meet The Matts” to bring you another pedestrian-at-best sports post. It’s in my contract. And by contract, I mean the sentence I’m serving here to make up for something horrible I must have done in a previous life, like discovering cilantro or […]

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Sports Oscars? Angry Ward With An Oral History of Meet The Matts: Part I

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NEW YORK, NY – I didn’t want to be the guy to do this, but I’ve resigned myself to the fact that it almost certainly falls under my tattered umbrella of responsibilities. What follows is a less-than-comprehensive oral history of this… this… whatever you want to call this thing here. I’ve been around this site way […]

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Angry Ward: What If The Fix Was In On Miracle on Ice, 86 Series, Super Bowl III…

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BRONX, NY – Yesterday I started reading ESPN’s piece on disgraced former NBA ref Tim Donaghy, and how he most likely fixed a whole mess of NBA games. This was a revelation only in that the NBA wanted everyone to believe that he never did (yeah, right) and that he was merely a guy with a […]

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Waiting for Eberle: A Minimalist, Existential MTM Experiment

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NEW YORK, NY – Spurred by Dude’s excellent suggestion yesterday, and bolstered by the fact that narcoleptic columnist DJ Eberle has once again gone missing, let’s just open this site up to comments on anything and everything. Talk about sports, movies, books, food, the Green New Deal, Valentine’s Day rants… whatever. Have at it!

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Browns in the Hunt, Knicks Durant Desperation, and Scenes from the Baseball Wasteland

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BRONX, NY – Three days ago I was on a sunny beach watching the beautiful blue surf come crashing in. Today I’m back in slushy NY, on this hellscape, offering up another in a long line of thankless posts. To quote Short Matt’s favorite literary character, as well as life model, Ignatius J. Reilly, “Oh, Fortuna, […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Damn the Torpedoes and Pregame Shows and Predictions and a Whole Bunch of Other Stuff

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BRONX, NY – I was gonna take this week off, but screw it. If the movie Groundhog Day has taught us nothing it’s that, when you’re trapped in a recurring nightmare, you might as well roll with it and try to make the best of it. In fact, this is usually the time of year I […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Yanks and Mets Make Nice, Ted Williams Off Ice and Other Baseball Stuff

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BRONX, NY – Only a couple of more weeks until “pitchers and catchers,” and that hopefully goes double for all of the Mueller-indicted as well. (*rim shot*) Baseball will be a nice distraction for what will surely be a horrendous Super Bowl and the long wait until Golden State wins their third straight NBA title. Sure, […]

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