Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward: Foles, Skols, Vikings and the Women’s March in Philly

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BRONX, NY – This coming Sunday they’ll play the AFC and NFC Conference Championship Games to see which two teams get to go to Super Bowl LII Big Game LII for the right to decide which one lucky team gets to turn down an invite from Donald Trump. In New England, everyone pretty much expects Brady […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: More Minnesota Vikings Torture in Store, or Will it Be Salvation?

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BRONX, NY – The Minnesota Vikings host a divisional playoff game against the New Orleans Saints next Sunday… and I’m wondering what will go wrong. It’s not that I don’t believe in this year’s version of my favorite football team, it’s just that I’ve been a fan for so long I can’t help but feel that […]

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Ward and Peace Wednesday: NFL Playoffs, Matt Harvey, and the Longest MTM Post Ever Published

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NEW YORK, NY – That loud hissing sound you’re hearing is all the air being let out of the “Holiday Season” balloon. Hope everyone had a great Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Boxing Day, New Years, whatever. To paraphrase Billy Shakespeare: Now is the winter of our discontent. Here in the Northeast, and particularly in New York, the […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Packers, Cowboys, Jerry Jones, LeBron and Other Year-End Schadenfreude

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BRONX, NY – The Mets have brought Omar Minaya back. Sweet Baby Jesus. I really can’t bear to talk about the Mets right now. The year is almost up, I’d rather focus on the positives, even if they’re kinda negatives… at least, for some. Let’s do this. Green Bay is Gone. After losing to Carolina 2 weeks […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Packers Out, 2017 Almost Over, Mets Still Meh

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NEW YORK, NY – It’s December 20th, if you’re reading this right now you clearly are tired of making believe that you’re working (most definitely) or finally worn out on the almost-constant showings of Christmas Vacation and Elf on TV (probably) or just in need of major psychiatric help (bingo!). Whatever it is, here you are… […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Holiday Sports Specials and Movies

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NEW YORK, NY – Christmas is less than 2 weeks out, Hanukkah is already underway, it’s not too late to catch up on all of your required holiday TV special and movie viewing. This year they’re offering a whole host of sports-slanted takes on some time-tested classics. Here’s your one-stop programming guide to all the feel-good […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Giants, Steelers-Bengals Violence & Gambling

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BRONX, NY – I’m not sure where to start this week. So, let’s just dive right in. The Giants Have Turned into the Mets. If you’re a fan of the New York Football Giants, you can’t be happy about the direction your team has taken. Out of nowhere they have turned into the New York Mets. Don’t […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Kaput Cowboys, Brown Bombers Bombers, Other Christmas List Items

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NEW YORK, NY – They light the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center in New York City tonight. I’m hyper-aware of this because 1) I live in New York and 2) I work only a couple of blocks from 30 Rock. But, the fact that we are about to fall headlong into the holidays should come […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Let Us Give Thanks… Vikings, John Candy, Knicks, Rangers, Mets

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BRONX, NY – Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which means you all still have around 24 hours to watch the classic, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, before being bombarded with Christmas flicks. So revel in lines like “I’ve never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before” and “Larry Bird doesn’t do as much ball-handling in one […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Meet The Matts Power Rankings

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BRONX, NY – You know what’s any easy way to fulfill a column-writing obligation? Write up a list. Any list, really. A Top 10 List, a Best Dressed List, a Greatest Moments List, a list of People You Want to Have Sex With… the list goes on and on. These days one of the most […]

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