Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Chargers, MLB, and Tanking Teams Think Too Much

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BRONX, NY – Before I get going on like my billionth post for this site, I want to direct anyone who didn’t happen to read Ben Whitney’s very funny piece yesterday to do that right now. It was truly stellar. For everyone else who has to write this week, don’t worry, I’m here to lower […]

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Angrier Ward Saturday: Late, Late, Late Edition

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BRONX, NY – You know what I hate more than anything about this site? Do you? It’s when I post a column late on a Saturday morning because it’s approaching noon and nothing is up, then something finally gets posted right after I take the time to fill the void… THEN, when I finally take […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Zeke Ztill Ztinks, Fizzy Going Flat, Polar Bear Named ROY

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BRRRONX, NY – The Northeast has gone from 70 degrees on Halloween to Ice Station Zebra in a matter of a couple of weeks. The cold isn’t for everyone, but I sure don’t mind. Bring it on! If I didn’t enjoy seasonal change I’d live in some hellscape like Yuma. Watching the Packers and Panthers […]

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Angry Ward Saturday: Mahomes Returns, Bama Hosts LSU, and Knicks Win(?)

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BRONX, NY – It’s 10:30 EST already and I’m not waiting for Buffalo Blaber to roll out of bed. There’s lots going on in sports this weekend. Someone’s got to cover it fer crissakes! Here’s a quick rundown. Knicks Win? Apparently the Knicks CAN get up for a game, just so long as it’s against one […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of NFL Head Coaches

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NEW YORK, NY – How the hell did it get to be November? It’s dark out at 4:30, Christmas decorations are already up, and the Giants and Jets have long since been eliminated from everything but the race to see who picks first in next year’s NFL Draft. Speaking of the NFL, it never ceases to […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: You Can Stick “Stick to Sports” Right Up Your Ass!

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BRONX, NY – Yesterday Deadspin’s Deputy Editor, Barry Petchesky got fired by his bosses for not “sticking to sports” when it came to content for the site. Not sure how many of you read Deadspin, it doesn’t really matter. What does matter is when dumbass ownership groups, in this case something calling itself G/O Media, take […]

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Angry Ward Saturday: Because No One Else Cares!

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WARDVILLE, SATURDAY – Hey, hey, hey, it’s Ward again on Saturday! You can’t get enough of me, don’t deny it. Matt’s in the UK, Junoir lives in Buffalo, which could be its own cold distant planet for all we care, and no one else is stepping up to the plate. Guess it’s up to me. Let’s […]

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Angry Ward Friday: Short and Sweet, Like Me!

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BRONX, NY – No one will read this (what else is new?) but can’t have a DID NOT SHOW on MtM on a Friday, just because Short Matt is in England hanging out with his pal Boris Johnson watching a sport no one cares about. Here’s a couple of quick things. Watched my Vikings eke […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Spooked Sam Darnold, Stephen A. Smith, and Other Halloween Costumes for Cheapskates

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BRONX, BOO YORK- Hey kids, it’s that time of year again. Halloween is upon us, which means you’ll be hearing Christmas music everywhere in like a week. But, before Christ-a-Palooza starts, you’ve got trick or treating to get to. This weekend coming up is also a big one for all the costume parties. As my […]

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Angry Ward: Tad’s to the Bone; The Clock Runs Out on a NYC Steak Joint, Joe Girardi?

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BRONX, NY – The sad news came a week ago, in the form of a text, from one JG Clancy. No one had died. There wasn’t some terrible accident. Bachman Cheese Jax weren’t being discontinued. None of that. But, instead, yet another vestige of the New York City I grew up in was finally biting the […]

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