Author Archive for Angry Ward
Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.
Angry Ward Wednesday: Joba Rules 2.0
“Don’t ever shush me.” – JOBA RULES 2.0 NEW YORK, NY – In case you missed it, this past Saturday assclown extraordinaire Joba Chamberlain took his game to a new level when he publicly called out teammate and superhuman closer Mariano Rivera after Mo politely asked Joba to lower his voice. Rivera, who had privately met [...]
Angry Ward Wednesday: April Showers Bring Mayweather… and other Sports Stuff
NEW YORK, NY – Originally, this column was going to be about my trek down to Atlantic City this past Saturday with assorted MTM royalty including, Grote2DMax, Cheesy Bruin, The Public Professor, and JG Clancy, but after a lucrative late-night run on “Let it Ride,” the most skill-less game in the casino, I decided that [...]
Angry Ward Wednesday: Come Out, Come Out Whoever You Are. Jason Collins Inspires Me
NEW YORK, NY – Happy International Workers’ Day to all of the hard-working folks that visit this site on an way-t00-regular basis. While our short bald leader is probably out somewhere flouncing around a May Pole, I thought it would probably be a good time to address the Jason Collins Story. In case you were [...]
Angry Ward Wednesday: Baseball, Snowing, Plouffing and Streaking
NEW YORK, NY – It’s been a wild week already… and it’s only Wednesday (well, Tuesday as I write this). The Cheeseman (Cheesy Bruin) covered the horrible Boston Marathon bombings yesterday, which were followed almost immediately by my mom getting her feet tangled up in front of her building and hitting the deck like Michael Spinks [...]
Angry Ward Wednesday: Buck Wild! Mets New Backstop and Teams Named After Fish
NEW YORK, NY – As Grote2DMax pointed out yesterday, there’s plenty going on in sports these days. But today I’m going to shy away from this week’s limitless supply of popular topics – The Unbeatable Knicks, Tiger at The Masters, Anything About the Yankees – to instead focus on New York’s new Jeremy Lin and a [...]
Deadspin
Don Cherry
Grantland
MetsBlog
The Public Professor
Angry Ward Wednesday: The Unfortunate 50 Sports Celebs
NEW YORK, NY – A little over a week ago, Sports Illustrated came out with its 10th annual list of the 50 highest-earning American athletes. Dubbed “The Fortunate 50,“ this list includes a pretty good cross-section of sports, with the exception of hockey… of course. Those guys always get screwed in the paycheck department. Anyway, [...]
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