Author Archive for Angry Ward
Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.
BRONX, NY – I think I speak for the masses when I say: Enough with the frogging ice bucket challenge already! At this point everyone from Mickey Rourke to Mark Zuckerberg has done it… and it’s getting a little annoying. Lady Gaga, Buck Showalter, Oprah Winfrey, Chris Christie, basically anyone with an instagram account, some […]
Bronx, NY – Though I returned to Metropolitan terra firma late Monday afternoon, I am not exactly back in the New York groove that Ace Frehley likes to warble about… at least not just yet. For starters, me and the family clambered into an air-condtionless taxi at LaGuardia and I was immediately bombarded with a […]
PALM BEACH, FL – “Down doobie doo down down. Comma comma down doobie doo down down. Comma comma down doobie doo down down. Breaking up is hard to do.” This week’s post was supposed to be about my trip up to Jupiter, Florida for a minor league baseball game/beer tasting (it was more beer than […]
WEST PALM BEACH, FL – Summer in the city wasn’t quite hot enough for me and my anger issues so I made an executive decision and forced the family to take a nice long sweltering vacation in the Sunshine State. Ah yes, late-July in Florida, there’s nothing quite like it. There are only a handful […]
NEW YORK, NY – So, it has come to my attention that Short Matt is stepping out of the office this week to deal with some family matters. Like everyone else, I hope that everything works out on that end. But what kind of person would I be if I didn’t take advantage of the […]
Bronx, NY - With soccer exiting stage left (congrats to the Germans for finally finding success when it comes to fighting the rest of the world) and baseball taking it’s annual summer vacation (just when the Mets were starting to play well), now’s a good time to take a few deep breaths, let out all of that […]