Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Talkin’ Baseball with Harvey, Horrible Jeffrey Loria and Hard-to-Figure Hitters

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BRONX, NY – After two straight days of basking in the glow of D.J. Eberle’s Hot Takes (*cough* Cavs overrated. *cough*), I’m back to restore order and make everyone miserable again. As I tap this out on the keyboard, Matt Harvey is looking in the mirror, wondering what went wrong – again – after initially being […]

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Jihad Ward Wednesday: Bud Grant Garage Sale, Bismack Biyombo, Watkins Glum, Other Stuff Only I Care About

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BRONX, NY – It’s been quiet around these parts lately… too quiet. What with JG Clancy in semi-retirement, Fluffy the Narwahl with his face buried in The Racing Form, and Randy Levine getting his hot tub out of dry dock, things have been getting as stagnant as the Mets offense – which was fortunately double […]

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Angry Ward: What the Fack, Yankees?

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BRONX, NY – The Bronx is yearning… for some halfway decent baseball. I’ve decided to give up my anger strike for a week and vent a little bit about New York’s other baseball team, the Yankees. Slow starts are nothing new for the Bronx Bombers, especially in recent years, but this 2016 squad seems a […]

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Amish Ward Wednesday: Day Baseball, Naismith Basketball and Simpler Sports

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BRONX, NY – All of New York City’s public schools, including my daughter’s, are on Spring Break this week. This means that I am taking the week off, except for today, to play activities director for her second grade version of howling at the moon. Monday was spent kicking around the neighborhood, hitting the playground, shooting […]

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Agitated Ward Wednesday: Rex Ryan, Trump, Manziel, Mets and Rangers

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BRONX, NY – For those of you who have been giving me all kinds of crap for my warmer, fuzzier approach of late, you’ll be happy to hear that forces are at work to bring me back to the dark side. I won’t get in to specifics, but I’m a tad ticked right now. The […]

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Appreciative Ward Wednesday: The Mets, The Matts, Opening Day & Friendship

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BRONX, NY – Those of you who know me, or have bothered to read my weekly Wednesday rants over the years, know that I give an awful lot of crap to our fearless leader, Short Matt. To be honest, a lot of it is warranted. I mean I have been at this for years and need someone […]

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