Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Tom Brady’s Stupid Stolen Super Bowl Jersey is Worth More than My Life

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BRONX, NY – Welcome, my friends, to another Worst Day of the Week in the Worst Month of the Year, in what may turn out to be the worst year of the decade. There’s so little to discuss that isn’t completely depressing, so let’s not try to avoid any of it. Let’s sit down with the […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Owners, Golfers, Flynns and Other Heartless Sports

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BRONX, NY – Writing this on Valentine’s Day night and, for once, it’s a welcome distraction. My kid’s been eating candy all day and I need to tune out the sugar-charged hyperactivity. Since it’s V-Day, I’ve decided to focus on matters of the heart or, rather, lack thereof. Sports Owners. At the top of the list […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Brady’s Jersey and Betsy DeVos Answers Your Sports Questions

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BRONX, NY – Back from Florida, where I barely survived four days of trying to kill myself with rum and gambling and mammoth hamburgers and more rum. On Tuesday, Betsy DeVos was confirmed by the Senate as this country’s new Secretary of Education as Mike Pence, still in his medically-induced coma, blinked twice to cast […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Sports B Sides Strock, Cerone, Lundquist, Harper, Venus

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FT. LAUDERDALE, FL – I’m writing this Monday and hoping, with the promise of some snow coming in, that my flight gets out of LGA tomorrow. Anyway, if it’s Wednesday, and I’m not in Florida enjoying a Gosling’s rum, you can bet your a$$ that I am angrier than usual. Don’t feel like writing much of […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Knicks Great, Johnny Manziel Cured, and Other Alternative Sports Facts

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BRONX, NY – There’s been a lot happening the past couple of weeks. The NFL playoffs aside, nothing has been bigger than what’s been going on down in our nation’s capital. We had a new President sworn in, followed by hundreds of thousands of women descending on D.C. the very next day. If President Sunkist wasn’t […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: What Board Game is Your Favorite Sports Team?

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BRONX, NY – Hey there, sports dopes, shiftless employees, and assorted other loners. It’s another wonderful Wednesday here at MeetTheMatts.com. NFL playoffs, Trump inauguration, the Knicks still sucking… so much to talk about. But, to hell with that noise, I want to write about old-timey board games – y’know, the one’s you used to play with […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: One Angry Man on Knicks, Jets, Yanks and Other Sports Crimes

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BRONX COUNTY COURTHOUSE, NY – Serving Jury Duty in the Bronx for the first time in my life. What a thrill ride! There’s nothing like being around Yankee Stadium in the dead of winter. It’s a real show spot. Nothing but gypsy cabs, depressing dining opportunities, and black slush as far as the eye can see. […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Giants Afloat, Jim Dolan Bloat, The Post-Holiday Sports Blahs

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NEW YORK, NY – It’s a cold, wet January evening as I write this. The kinda night when you just want to tune out and tuck into bed, but Management won’t let me. Even though the holidays are over, sports keeps slogging along. Sorry I missed the Rose Bowl–heard it was a barn-burner–but not so much […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Your 2017 Sports Calendar! Predictions & Photo Caption Contest

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BRONX, NY – Let’s be honest for a moment, no one in their right mind wants to be doing any kind of work the week between Christmas and New Year’s. Why do we continue this charade, year after year after year? The entire week should be a global holiday, where everyone is allowed to be depressed, […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Blue Christmas; Let’s Talk Some F**king Sports

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BRONX, NY – For those of you who missed the not-so-annual Meet The Matts holiday party this year, you probably added a few extra days to your life. Between the boozing and the 100% deep-fried fare, my body still hasn’t recovered. Though guys like Grinding Ax Walter, Ben “Big Papa” Whitney, and DJ Eberle were missed, […]

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