Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Amish Ward Wednesday: Day Baseball, Naismith Basketball and Simpler Sports

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BRONX, NY – All of New York City’s public schools, including my daughter’s, are on Spring Break this week. This means that I am taking the week off, except for today, to play activities director for her second grade version of howling at the moon. Monday was spent kicking around the neighborhood, hitting the playground, shooting […]

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Agitated Ward Wednesday: Rex Ryan, Trump, Manziel, Mets and Rangers

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BRONX, NY – For those of you who have been giving me all kinds of crap for my warmer, fuzzier approach of late, you’ll be happy to hear that forces are at work to bring me back to the dark side. I won’t get in to specifics, but I’m a tad ticked right now. The […]

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Appreciative Ward Wednesday: The Mets, The Matts, Opening Day & Friendship

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BRONX, NY – Those of you who know me, or have bothered to read my weekly Wednesday rants over the years, know that I give an awful lot of crap to our fearless leader, Short Matt. To be honest, a lot of it is warranted. I mean I have been at this for years and need someone […]

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Available Ward Tuesday: Special Lunchtime Edition!

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New York, NY – Now that Eb’s hot takes have had around 36 hours to sink in, I thought I’d take my lunch hour to throw something–anything–up here. Let’s get to it before I’m found out. Warriors and 73. Nothing jinxes a team more than everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, saying that they are definitely going […]

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Alliterative Ward Wednesday: Harvey, Hoagies, Heartburn, and Hernandez

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BOOGIEDOWN BRONX– I’d like to start by wishing woebegone, wistful,  and wingnut MTMers a wildly wonderful Wednesday. Welcome, wackadoo weirdos! And with that, I will curtail the alliterative portion of this intro before I go Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Here are several scintillating storylines (sorry) that caught my eye this week. Harvey Hears a P. Now […]

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Always Ward Wednesday: Anger is Out! Starting Over with Harvey, RG3, Trump, Mets

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BRONX, NY – Hey, how you do like my new byline this week? I mean, I am kinda ALWAYS here on Wednesday. It’s been my midweek digital gulag for like six years now. Anyway,  I am not saying I am going to stick with this, but I do plan on trying other things out. Like maybe […]

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