Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Meet The Matts Power Rankings

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BRONX, NY – You know what’s any easy way to fulfill a column-writing obligation? Write up a list. Any list, really. A Top 10 List, a Best Dressed List, a Greatest Moments List, a list of People You Want to Have Sex With… the list goes on and on. These days one of the most […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: McAdoo Out, Melo Meh, Bob McNair Does Nothing – It All Adds Up

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BRONX, NY – People, you haven’t lived until you’ve overseen long division and multiplication homework for your fourth-grader. If Eli Apple showed even one-tenth of the passion for tackling and defending that my kid shows for not wanting any part of math, he’d be well on his way to becoming the next Dick “Night Train” Lane. […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Now with 50% More Vitriol! World Series, Giants, Joe Buck, Gambling

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NEW YORK, NY – Wait, you really thought there was going to be a reboot? What a bunch of suckers… all three of you. Oh well, life is filthy with worthless hype, broken promises, and disappointment. Just look at Al Capone’s Vault or the 2016 Election or The 2017 New York Football Giants. To be honest, […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: F**K the Giants, Yankees and a Whole Bunch of Other People

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BRONX, NY – It’s mercifully the final week of Angry Ward, but I’ve decided to not go gentle into that good night. F**k all that. I’m burning this thing to the ground. Where’s that gas can and my Zippo? Giant A$$holes. This past Sunday night the New York Giants and Denver Broncos got together and screwed […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Giants, Yankees, Gambling and the End of Anger

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BRONX, NY – The way I see it, this will be my second-to-last Angry Ward column before doing a long weekend in Vegas with some of my oldest and best-est friends, taking the 25th off to recharge and reboot, and coming back with something else (hopefully better) starting Wednesday November 1st. Don’t get me wrong, it’s […]

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Annoyed Ward Saturday: Let’s Talk Some Frogging Sports!

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BRONX, NY – You know what I dislike more than having to write a Wednesday column on a Tuesday night after a full day of work and picking my kid up from school and making dinner and getting her to bed and walking the dog and putting out the trash? It’s coming to this site on […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Tom Petty Sports Tribute

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BRONX, NY – As I sit here tapping this out on a Tuesday evening, just a little over an hour from Wild Card baseball action – Yankees won,  I’m taking a deep breath. It’s been quite a few days of lousy news. More hurricane destruction, more gun insanity in Vegas, and, to add insult to […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Protests, Invites, My 1st MLB Baseball Game of the Season

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BRONX, NY – As the “Angry Ward Wednesdays” dwindle down to a precious few (more on this in a week or so), I’ll try to keep today’s offering short and to the point. Keep Your Eye on the Ball. One of the oldest maxims in sports is, “keep your eye on the ball.” And I can’t help […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: The New York Giants Suck… But then, so Does Most of the NFL

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NEW YORK, NY – I watched enough of the Giants/Lions game Monday night to know that I was glad that I didn’t watch ALL of the Giants/Lions game on Monday night. To put it bluntly, the New York Football Giants, as constructed by Jerry Reese and coached by Ben McAdoo, suck. We’ll get into those specifics […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Starve Zeke Elliott, Don’t Hang Out in Hurricanes, and Stop Thursday Night Football Before it Kills

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NEW YORK, NY – Another Wednesday is upon us, which means it’s time for me to write whatever I damn please. Between celebrating an anniversary and basically looking at life through rugby goggles for the past two years, it’s not like management will care, or even notice, anyway. I could post crumb cake recipes or […]

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