Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Todd Man Out, Trump’s Fried Feast, and the Rams Go for the Record

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BRONX, NY – There’s no shortage of stuff going on in sports right now, but I’ve particularly been enjoying all the baseball Hot Stove and football playoffs talk going on here lately. I’ll do my best to keep that stuff rolling, rather than writing about obscure movies from the 1980s. Here goes. Mets Moves. While I don’t […]

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Tired-of-this-Sh!t Ward: NFL Playoffs – Divisional Thoughts

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NEW YORK, NY – DJ Eberle went to an ill-conceived all-you-can-eat Hungarian Goulash “event” last night, and things happened. Don’t have all in the info. Don’t want all the info. Here’s a look at this weekend’s NFL Divisional Playoffs, most of which I will be DVRing or straight up missing because my kid’s Children’s Theater performances […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Hot Flub Time Machine – What Sports Wrongs Would You Right?

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BRONX, NY – As we move into the highly-depressing post-Holiday months, I turn my attention away from Christmas flicks and towards anything featuring cold and snow but sans holiday themes. My love of Hot Dog; The Movie has been well-documented here, but I’m saving that for my birthday month of February, when I really need it. […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Happy Birthday To My Brother! Sports Fanatics Tale

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NEW YORK, NY – Today is the birthday of my big brother, Chris. Though he’s 4 years my senior, he still enjoys when people ask if we’re twins. If you want to know the origin story of my anger, you can’t really tell it without Chris. His relentless teasing prompted such violent responses from me, that […]

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Angry Ward: The Day After Christmas

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BRONX, NY – I swore I wouldn’t post anything today. But I just can’t abide a miss. Besides, this way I can continue to take DJ Eberle to task for missing HIS assignments. ‘TWAS THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS ‘Twas the day after Christmas, when all through the city, Not a creature was stirring, not even Flyers […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: A Penny for Your Thoughts, No More HOF Starting Pitchers, Bryce in Da Bronx

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BRONX, NY – This is my last post before Christmas, and if Management thinks I’m posting ON Christmas (as I’m slated to) they can suck a bag of… er… candy canes. Still there’s plenty to talk about right now, starting with Penny Marshall’s passing yesterday at the age of 75. “Goodbye, Laverne.” Penny Marshall is perhaps best […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Holiday Sports Wish List

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BRONX, NY – It’s the holiday season. So whoop-de-doo and hickory dock, and don’t forget to hang up your sock… as Andy Williams warbled in one of the worst Christmas songs ever. Anyway, there’s plenty going on and I’m seeing lots of frozen vomit on the sidewalks, which means that Office Christmas Party season is […]

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Ambivalent Ward Thursday: Everything Must Go!

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NEW YORK, NY – Shocker! Another no-show on MTM today and I’m filling in. This is getting older than the hot dog buns in Matt McCarthy’s freezer. Like Kramer trying to revive the old Merv Griffin Show, I think we need to retool. Here’s the plan. Banish DJ Eberle to Sunday. The kid barely shows up to […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: The Mets are Going For It and Will Fail Miserably

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BRONX, NY – I really don’t know what to write for this site anymore. If I write about football, I know my brother (who reads but never comments) will check out, because he’s no big football fan. I can’t write about hockey, because we have people on this site that know a whole lot more about […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Hallmark Sports-Themed Christmas Movies

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BRONX, NY – Like it or not, the holidays are upon us like George “The Animal” Steele on a turnbuckle. The minute Thanksgiving ended, it was on like Donkey Kong. Hell… before Thanksgiving ended. We’ve already roared through Black Friday and Cyber Monday and my building’s Super  got the Christmas tree up on Monday like I’ve […]

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