Author Archive for Angry Ward
Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.
BRONX, NY – So, it seems as though New York #Mets reliever Jenrry Mejia has been suspended for 162 games after testing positive for performance-enhancing drugs for the second time this season. Yes, you and I both read that right: Mejia, who already served an 80-game suspension this season, failed a second test. WTF??? Don’t […]
BRONX, NY – As I write this, it’s only T-minus two days until Mrs. Angry returns from taking a bunch of high-schoolers to England and my life gets back to whatever passes for normal. On the upside, I’ve managed to binge watch just about every summery movie I could get my hands on (Rear Window, One […]
BRONX, NY – The Major League Baseball All-Star Game (the Mariners will have the homefield World Series advantage over the #Mets, as per Mike Trout) was played last night, which means we’re officially deep into summer. If you’re not on vacation lounging on a beach somewhere, chances are you’re stuck inside binge-watching some Netflix series […]
BRONX, NY – I just lost another 400+ word draft, but I’m not gonna sweat it. It’s summer. Who cares, right? Everyone’s too busy kicking back, pouring drinks, and forcing their kids to go to camp. Here are some summer-themed movies you should seriously consider checking out while you relax in air-conditioned comfort. The titles are […]
BRONX, NY – “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity…” Cliff Clavin was right, that Dickens guy really liked to keep his butt covered. But those words […]
While we’re waiting for someone, anyone, to post, I thought I’d take this moment to wish Short Matt a very Happy Birthday. I don’t know what number this is for our fearless leader, but since he was pretty much born retired, does it really matter? Have a great day, friend.