Author Archive for Angry Ward
Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.
BRONX, NY– The Super Bowl is over… and it sucked. Pitchers and catchers don’t report for another couple of weeks. Hockey doesn’t get truly important for a while. The NBA should just go ahead and give Golden State the trophy already. The weather here in the Northeast is still gray and cold with a 50% […]
BRONX, NY – So much going on this week leading up to Super Bowl 50, and none of it means a thing. Lots of inane questions, posturing, and fashion statements… and that’s just from my kid when I walk her to school each morning. But seriously, SB Hype Week is the worst. Wake me up […]
BRONX, NY – So much going on in the world of sports this week, but I find the internet and local newspapers have been a little bland in their coverage. We need some good old-fashioned sensationalism! We need some eye-popping headlines! I’ll tell you what we really need! We need the late, great tabloid, The Weekly World News. This […]
BRONX, NY – The NFC/AFC Championship games are set, either the Golden State Warriors or San Antonio Spurs will win the NBA Championship, the New York Rangers will not hoist the Stanley Cup, and the New York Mets still need a clean up hitter. Nothing new to report here. Let’s have some fun by looking […]
Bronx, NY – Goal: “To see the Vikings win a Super Bowl in my lifetime.” This is what the 18-year-old, not-quite-so-Angry Ward wrote in his senior high school yearbook. At that point it had been a decade since Minnesota went to and lost their fourth Super Bowl-to the Oakland Raiders. Three decades later, they still haven’t […]
BRONX, NY – This afternoon, the Baseball Writers Association of America (aka, a bunch of old farts who were never even remotely good at baseball) will announce the 2016 induction class for the Baseball Hall of Fame. There are 32 names on the ballot and it takes 75% of the vote to get in and 5% […]