Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Mets to Injury Bug – “Is that All Ya Got?”

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NEW YORK, NY – We interrupt the Rangers and Islanders playoffs, Knicks tee offs, God Boy Tebow going to play in a city full of Satan worshipers, the Golden State Warriors and Minnesota Wild’s marches to inevitable championships, the New York Yankees trying to weasel out of paying A-Rod $6 million and all kinds of […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Home Opener is Where the Heart Is

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FLUSHING, NY – It’s Monday evening as I start to write this one; while it’s still fresh in what’s left of my mind. I just got done attending yet another New York Mets Opening Day out in Queens. I’ve lost track of how many of these I’ve been to, but I’m guessing the number is somewhere […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Mets are Great, Yankees Stink, Baseball is Fun Again

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BRONX, NY – You know what’s fun? I mean besides running around an airport yelling “Serrano’s got the disks! Serrano’s got the disks!” at the top of your lungs? It’s the beginning of baseball season, that magical time of year when a single Opening Day win for your team can get you pumped way out […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: The Foul Stench of Spring

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BRONX, NY – Today is March 25th, and it’s officially spring, the worst season of the year. What’s that you say? Spring is lovely? A time of rebirth and romance and regular tires? Bullsh~t. Spring sucks. If it’s not still snowing, it’s pissing rain. Your taxes are due. You put on crap-load of winter weight. […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Sports Nicknames That Just Didn’t Work

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BRONX, NY – How about that Rangers/Islanders game last night? Wow! Right? The Rangers still have 4 games in hand, blah, blah, blah… Okay, thought I’d get that out of the way in anticipation of all of the, “Why aren’t we talking about the Rangers and/or Islanders?” comments today. What’s that? You want to talk […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Your Team’s Most Famously Worst Fan

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BRONX, NY – Last week infamous ISIL hatchet hood Jihad John (I’d like to market a line of Port-o-Potties under this name) was unmasked as a former snot-nosed London schoolboy with some serious pent up behavioral issues. Was this really such a surprise? I mean, the guy is the terrorist equivalent of that kid in Junior High who wouldn’t hit […]

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