Author Archive for Angry Ward
Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.
BRONX, NY – Today is Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of Lent among practicing Christians, and even those Christians who prefer to take the Allen Iverson approach to practice… which is most. Thus begins the big lead-up to Easter, not mention all of the pomp and pageantry that comes with the 22-day countdown to […]
BRONX, NY – We’ve been losing a hell of a lot of talented people lately and it’s starting to piss me off. On Monday Harold Ramis passed away at his home near Chicago at the way-too-young age of 69. It seems for the past four years he’d been battling something called autoimmune inflammatory vasculitis. I […]
BRONX, NY – I had a few ideas kicking around for today’s post but none of them seemed hefty enough to carry an entire column. Instead we’ll just go with a mixed bag. Let’s get right to it. Shirley, You Can’t be Serious. Sad news yesterday that my first boyhood crush, Shirley Temple, boarded the […]
BRONX, NY – I’m writing this one day after a tiny little snow event dumped eight inches of pure uncut powder on Gotham and now they’re saying we’re going to get a bunch more tonight going into tomorrow. Normally this wouldn’t bother me – I love the snow – but my brother just flew down […]
NEW YORK, NY – Super Bowl XLVIII (which is both a roman numeral and Rob Ryan’s underwear size) is only days away and New Yorkers are so excited about this spirited match-up between two teams from completely different solar systems than our own that we can hardly contain our collective narcolepsy. Nevertheless the SB hype […]
NEW YORK, NY - (***We interrupt Polar Vortex 2: Electric Boogaloo to bring you yet another column.***) It’s the least wonderful time of the year, with the exception of the entire month of February. I’m of course talking about that dead week between the NFL Championship games and the Super Bowl. Why must the NFL do […]