Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Cheers to Keeping it All in The Family with Sports and Sitcoms

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BRONX, NY – I was gonna devote today’s column to giving a huge “F You!” to 2016, which has been just about the worst year in recent memory. But I’m not really down for giving the Grim Reaper or the upcoming election any more ink. Instead, I’m gonna talk about some of my all-time favorite sitcoms […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Forget Brangelina – Sports Divorces We’d Like to See

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BRONX, NY – Writing this on Tuesday night and I’m sure management is pissed about that. Tough darts, Matts. Anyway, the big news today was that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are getting a divorce and people are falling all over themselves on social media to put in their two cents. Never mind that people are […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Giants O, Giant Rugby Kid, Die Hards – I Don’t Get it!

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BRONX, NY – The Inwood Piper’s Kilt is closed, the Mets and Yanks are somehow still in the playoff hunt, LA has another mega-million flop on its hands with the Rams, Short Matt has already been married a year… things are starting to get a little weird. It’s not that I need to understand all […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Good Riddance Summer; Time for Fall, Football and Sports Galore

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NEW YORK, NY – I know it’s still another couple of weeks until the official beginning of Autumn, but so what? As far as I’m concerned Summer is over, done, kaput. Sure we all had fun going to the beach, hitting the pool, barbecuing, etc., but, seriously, fack this Summer! In New York, and surrounding areas, […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Gene Wilder Sports Tribute? Sure, Why Not?

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BRONX, NY – This past Monday we lost yet another bright light from our planet when the great Gene Wilder exited stage right. This was, of course, on the heels of losing our own funnyman, Al Sternberg. I think most will agree that 2016 has been absolutely brutal. But, for once, I’m not gonna dwell on […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Miami, Buffalo, Maryland, Josh Gordon… Sports Postcards from Hell

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BRONX, NY – I’m back from Vacation! Tra-la-lee! What the hell were the Go-Go’s talking about when they got all weepy and wistful about the passing of a restful, resplendent summer recess. They clearly didn’t have kids or went to Disney in August. Crawling back into NYC on my hands and knees, bloated, beleaguered and thinking […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Olympic Basketball, A-Rod, Election, Summer of Loathe

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PALM BEACH, FL – Taking a well-deserved break from my exhausting vacation to crank out another bunch of crap for my bald, bike-less boss. On the bright side, I somehow stumbled into cooler weather by heading out of NYC and down to South Florida, so there’s that. But otherwise, for the most part, this summer […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Alex Rodriguez, Special Advisor. What the Hell is That?

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BRONX, NY – This past Sunday, legendary liar and baseball player Alex Rodriguez announced that he would be taking his talents to Nowheresville. Yep, with one year and $27 million remaining on his contract, the Yankees not-so-subtly told him to pack up his things and go to hell. Yet, they did it “the Yankee Way,” […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: A-Rod, Harvey, Puig: MLB Trade Deadline Deals that Didn’t Go Through

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BRONX, NY – Well, the Major League Baseball trading deadline has come and gone and here’s what we know. The Yankees know they suck and sold off half their team and don’t really give a rat’s ass about George Steinbrenner’s corpse spinning faster than a Cuisinart blender on “liquify.” We also know that Jonathan Lucroy thinks […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Ichiro, Cowboys, Durant and Lucroy

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BRONX, NY – Banging this one out just before deadline on Tuesday. It’s my wife’s birthday, I’m holding off on dinner and my dog, Griffey, is doing everything in his power to get me to play fetch rather than slap together another lackluster column. Where in the wide, wide world of sports are my priorities? […]

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