Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Tiger, Knicks, Gritty… I Want to Bet on Everything

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BRONX, NY – I’ve said this on more than one occasion, but I will never be as much of a diehard sports fan as I was when I was a teenager. With age comes perspective and change, at least if you’re open to those concepts. So you start realizing that there are a lot of things […]

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Angry Ward: Eli Manning, Vontae Davis, and Other NFL Checkdowns

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BRONX, NY – We’re now two full weeks into the NFL season and already there’s plenty to talk about. And, shockingly, none of it has to do with kneeling during the National Anthem. Bummer. Nevertheless, let’s get rid of this column quick, like a New York Giants offensive possession, so we can punt it away to […]

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DJ Eberle Quits MTM at Halftime?

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BUFFALO, NY – So, I guess DJ doesn’t live here anymore? What happened? No explanation, no nothing. How very Vontae Davis of him. And here I was looking forward to all kinds of Hawt Bills takes all year. Things like, “Shady McCoy for NFL Man of the Year” and “The Bills Could Still Win the […]

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Sweaty Ward Saturday: Soccer Practice, Pool, and Weekend Sports

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BRONX, NY – I just finished helping out  at my daughter’s soccer practice and let me just say that 1) I am tired and 2) I still very much suck at soccer. But, as a parent, you do what you have to do. Anyway, to “reward” myself for my selflessness, I am writing a Saturday […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Mama Matt, Burt Reynolds and When Eras End

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BRONX, NY – Please excuse the “personal” aspect of today’s column. I just thought it was appropriate. I found out through our own Tall Matt, that Peggy McCarthy, Mom to our own Short Matt and to this site by association, passed away this past Thursday. Though I only met her just a short time ago at […]

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MC Oberle’s Cold NFL Leftovers

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MIDDLE-OF-NOWHERE, USA— Looks like my good-for-nothing cousin, DJ, has gone missing again. What are you gonna do? He’s probably crying into his overstuffed Buffalo Bills Bruce Smith snuggle pillow. And yesterday’s “game,” if you want to call it that, is probably a good place to start with this Week 1 NFL recrap. That’s right, I said […]

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Angry Ward Friday: Breaking – Steve Sarkisian Sucks!

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BRONX, NY – I was one of those morons that waited out the lightning delay last night and watched Buddy Diaz’s Philadelphia Eagles win a game that they definitely should have lost. Well, I wasn’t that stupid, actually. I checked out after the 3rd quarter when it became crystal clear that the Atlanta Falcons, a supremely […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: No Offense But… the NFL is Offensive

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BRONX, NY – This Labor Day weekend a woman at the US Open Tennis tournament in Flushing was captured on camera dunking a chicken tender into a cup of Coca Cola and then eating it, and somehow this was one of the least offensive things to happen in sports in some time. I was easily more […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Colin Kaepernick and Tiger Woods – A Tale of Two Black Athletes

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BRONX, NY – I’m tapping this post out on a Monday evening, just before taking the dog for a walk. Everything is quiet, the a/c is doing it’s job, and life seems pretty okay. But, my personal world aside, I’d like to take a moment to talk about two black athletes who should be familiar to […]

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Miserable Ward Monday: Where’s DJ?

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BRONX, NY – Where’s our (semi) regular Monday contributor DJ Eberle today? It’s 5 friggin’ pm and no post. What, is he on vacation again? F**k vacation! You got a deadline to meet, Mr. Sports Journalist. I’ll say it again, these Millennials got no work ethic. Actually, that’s not fair, they have a work ethic, […]

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