Author Archive for Angry Ward
Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.
New York, NY – Start spreadin’ the news and open up that golden gate because here we go for like the millionth time with another New York/Los Angeles showdown. Starting this Friday the Mets and Dodgers start duking it out at Chavez Ravine for what will ultimately be the right to face, and lose to, […]
Bronx, NY – Live from New York, it’s Saturday afternoon! And if no one else is posting, I guess I am. You’re welcome. Let’s get right to it. Cloudy with No Chance of Hurricanes. This is the latest weather forecast. Joaquin is taking his act out East. Instead we got gray skies and chilly temps […]
BRONX, NY – Another week gone by and I think I’m starting to get a better idea of how I should devote my “sports” time. Y’see, when you get older you can’t keep running the same game plan you had when you were in your early twenties and pretty much immortal. Staying out in bars […]
BRONX, NY – Happy first day of autumn! My favorite time of year. Soon the leaves will be dropping like so many NFL superstars. Baseball season is winding down as the Mets hang on for dear life and the Yankees do their part to ensure that they’ll meet, and lose to, the Houston Astros in […]
Bronx, NY – If it’s Saturday and I’m still drawing oxygen, it must be time for another Angry Ward column. I am actually starting to like my “new” role as MtM’s Omega Man. I’ve been eating nothing but Soylent Green for the last week and a half (they served it at Matt’s wedding reception) and […]
New York, NY – Apparently, I’m the only one left in Mattville, and that’s just jake with me. When it comes to the company of others, I skew more Garbo than gregarious. But, still, don’t I have an obligation to report on that state of sports to the MtM masses? Ha! Masses! That’s a hot one. […]