Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Modern-Day Sports Superheroes and Villains for Stan Lee

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NEW YORK, NY – Marvel Comics mastermind Stan Lee died a couple of days ago at the ripe old age of 95. A good run, by anyone’s standards. He leaves behind a loyal legion of fans and a litany of comic book characters that will live on forever. Though I was never a big comics guy, […]

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Angry Ward Weekly: Ski Lift Sex, Warriors Seats, and Other Stuff I Need Before It’s Too Late

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BRONX, NY – I’m writing this on Monday night, and this will be posting the day after the Midterm Elections, so I’m really not sure that anything in sports really matters enough to mention today. No matter which way last night’s results went, I’m not really psyched about the way the world is trending these […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: The Mets Move, Basketball Goes Sci-Fi, and Golf Goes Bye-Bye – Behold, the Future of Sports!

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BRONX, NY (THE FUTURE) – Holy sh!t, I never thought I’d live to see the day, but the Bronx is THE place to live now. Though I guess us non-science-deniers could have seen some of this coming, what with lower Manhattan turned into a water park and once-hot nabes like Greenpoint and Long Island City […]

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Angry Ward Saturday: What About Junoir?

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BRONX, NY – Where in the wide, wide world of sports is Junoir Blaber this Saturday? This is his spot in the lineup. He can’t be “busy.” He lives in Buffalo fer crissakes! What’s he out stocking up on snow shovels and ramen? I’m not here to pinch hit, I’m here to make sure there’s no […]

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Angry Ward: It’s a Terrible Time to Be a Yankees Fan

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BRONX, NY – I’ll admit, this headline may sound more than a little misleading. I mean, the Yankees DID just win 100 games and lost to maybe the best team in baseball in the divisional round of the playoffs. As people always say (to losers), “nothing to be ashamed of.” Still, I’d say there’s collateral damage. […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Giants, Bosox, Dodgers, Tyreek and other Fall Fodder

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BRONX, NY – Autumn has officially arrived here in the Northeast, and it’s spectacular. As I say to others who reside in and around New York, “THIS, is why we live here.” With cooler temps and the corresponding explosion of leaf color come light jackets, brown liquor sipping, and just spending as much time outdoors as […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Your Halloween Sports Costume Guide

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BRONX, NY – Welcome to the scariest time of year. For Mets fans it’s the months between June and September, for everyone else, it’s Halloween. Anyway, if you’re stuck for costume ideas, there’s plenty of low-hanging fruit in the world of sports. Here are some quick getup ideas, some of which have multiple applications, in Your […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Lie, Cheat, Steal and Win – America Has Lost its Way. A-Rod, Lance, Mets, Pats

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BRONX, NY – I went to David Wright’s final Mets game last Saturday night with Short & Tall Matt, but I just don’t have the heart or energy to write about what a disappointment it was. It felt a lot closer to the Mets money-grab I thought it was going to be than the legitimate farewell […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Tiger, Knicks, Gritty… I Want to Bet on Everything

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BRONX, NY – I’ve said this on more than one occasion, but I will never be as much of a diehard sports fan as I was when I was a teenager. With age comes perspective and change, at least if you’re open to those concepts. So you start realizing that there are a lot of things […]

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Angry Ward: Eli Manning, Vontae Davis, and Other NFL Checkdowns

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BRONX, NY – We’re now two full weeks into the NFL season and already there’s plenty to talk about. And, shockingly, none of it has to do with kneeling during the National Anthem. Bummer. Nevertheless, let’s get rid of this column quick, like a New York Giants offensive possession, so we can punt it away to […]

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