Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward Wednesday: 2018 MLB Baseball Season Shaping Up as Suckiest Ever

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NEW YORK, NY – I could spend today talking about how Trump disinviting the Philadelphia Eagles to the White House is a win-win-win, in that the Eagles don’t have to go, Trump doesn’t have to get butt-hurt because of the light turnout and bore us all with illiterate tweets, and the NFL looks like an even […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Hooray for Yankees Fans! No, I’m Serious.

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BRONX, NY – I was toying with the idea of changing my column name to “Ambivalent Ward Wednesday” to get in step with the general vibe of everyone (and I use that word liberally) else around here. But, nah. Besides, I got something I really want to write about this week. Don’t worry, it’s not about […]

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Angry Ward’s Rain Delay Theater

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BRONX, NY – Since CheesyBruin is still pillowing his way through divorcees on Florida’s West Coast, and no one else seems to be offering anything up yet on this rainy Sunday in NYC, I figured I’d jump in with some placeholder stuff. First of all, there’s this bit of fun from The Onion. In other news, […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Cano, Wentz, Carmelo and other Examples of Sports Addition by Subtraction

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BRONX, NY – In 2001 the Seattle Mariners turned Major League Baseball on its ear by winning 116 regular season games. They accomplished this feat without the benefit of Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey Jr., and Alex Rodriguez, three of the franchise’s cornerstone players, who had all talked their way out of town. Though they didn’t go […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: I’m All in on Legal Sports Gambling

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BRONX, NY – Let’s just cut to the chase this week. The Supreme Court ruled on Monday that states outside of Nevada can now have legal sports gambling. While I’ll be nice and shed a tear for all the old-school bookies, I cheer that the good citizens of New York, New Jersey and every other state […]

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ANGRY WARD WEDNESDAY: Farewell, New York Giants

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NEW YORK, NY – On Tuesday May 1st, a deadline came and went unnoticed, by everyone but me. This was the drop-dead date for me to renew my New York Football Giants season tickets. They were actually my Dad’s tickets, though I had taken them over years ago. I was ready to bail last year, […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Bron, Baseball, Pucks, Ohtani and Other Hot Garbage

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BRONX, NY – I just got back from walking the dog, and if the current temps are any indication, Angry Ward Wednesday is gonna be a hot one in NYC. That’s not the only sign that summer is on its way. To wit, Yankees fans are overheating with excitement about their team’s play against the pathetic […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Don’t Worry, The Yankees Still Suck

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BRONX, NY – My good friend Emily delivered a terrific sermon last Sunday about love, which she was nice enough to share with me. Among her many spot-on observations was one concerning how failing at something often gives us humans a more complete perspective on whatever that thing might be. For whatever reason, I immediately thought […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Manila, Morganna, Miracle on Ice and other Unrealized Sports Goals

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BRONX, NY – There’s no denying it anymore, I’m getting old. Been around long enough to have watched black and white TV, used a rotary telephone, tapped away on both manual and electric typewriters, and pleasured myself to photos in a magazine. That’s downright decrepit in a lot of books… hell, in any book. As far […]

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Angry Ward: JFK Stall Tactics and the New York Mets

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NEW YORK, NY – This past Saturday I had no choice but to tend to some urgent intestinal matters in a restroom at JFK Airport. It’s bad enough to have to fly out of JFK, but to have to use its lavatories is a truly depressing endeavor. On the bright side, I was in the […]

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