Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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Angry Ward: What If The Fix Was In On Miracle on Ice, 86 Series, Super Bowl III…

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BRONX, NY – Yesterday I started reading ESPN’s piece on disgraced former NBA ref Tim Donaghy, and how he most likely fixed a whole mess of NBA games. This was a revelation only in that the NBA wanted everyone to believe that he never did (yeah, right) and that he was merely a guy with a […]

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Waiting for Eberle: A Minimalist, Existential MTM Experiment

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NEW YORK, NY – Spurred by Dude’s excellent suggestion yesterday, and bolstered by the fact that narcoleptic columnist DJ Eberle has once again gone missing, let’s just open this site up to comments on anything and everything. Talk about sports, movies, books, food, the Green New Deal, Valentine’s Day rants… whatever. Have at it!

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Browns in the Hunt, Knicks Durant Desperation, and Scenes from the Baseball Wasteland

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BRONX, NY – Three days ago I was on a sunny beach watching the beautiful blue surf come crashing in. Today I’m back in slushy NY, on this hellscape, offering up another in a long line of thankless posts. To quote Short Matt’s favorite literary character, as well as life model, Ignatius J. Reilly, “Oh, Fortuna, […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Damn the Torpedoes and Pregame Shows and Predictions and a Whole Bunch of Other Stuff

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BRONX, NY – I was gonna take this week off, but screw it. If the movie Groundhog Day has taught us nothing it’s that, when you’re trapped in a recurring nightmare, you might as well roll with it and try to make the best of it. In fact, this is usually the time of year I […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Yanks and Mets Make Nice, Ted Williams Off Ice and Other Baseball Stuff

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BRONX, NY – Only a couple of more weeks until “pitchers and catchers,” and that hopefully goes double for all of the Mueller-indicted as well. (*rim shot*) Baseball will be a nice distraction for what will surely be a horrendous Super Bowl and the long wait until Golden State wins their third straight NBA title. Sure, […]

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Angry Ward: Hall of Fame, Hoops, and Horrendous Super Bowl Hype Week

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Ken Griffey Jr.? Three douchebags failed to vote for him. Tom Seaver? 5 a-holes saw it clear to leave him off. Hank Aaron? 9 obviously- racist f**kheads didn’t vote for him.

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Todd Man Out, Trump’s Fried Feast, and the Rams Go for the Record

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BRONX, NY – There’s no shortage of stuff going on in sports right now, but I’ve particularly been enjoying all the baseball Hot Stove and football playoffs talk going on here lately. I’ll do my best to keep that stuff rolling, rather than writing about obscure movies from the 1980s. Here goes. Mets Moves. While I don’t […]

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Tired-of-this-Sh!t Ward: NFL Playoffs – Divisional Thoughts

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NEW YORK, NY – DJ Eberle went to an ill-conceived all-you-can-eat Hungarian Goulash “event” last night, and things happened. Don’t have all in the info. Don’t want all the info. Here’s a look at this weekend’s NFL Divisional Playoffs, most of which I will be DVRing or straight up missing because my kid’s Children’s Theater performances […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Hot Flub Time Machine – What Sports Wrongs Would You Right?

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BRONX, NY – As we move into the highly-depressing post-Holiday months, I turn my attention away from Christmas flicks and towards anything featuring cold and snow but sans holiday themes. My love of Hot Dog; The Movie has been well-documented here, but I’m saving that for my birthday month of February, when I really need it. […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Happy Birthday To My Brother! Sports Fanatics Tale

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NEW YORK, NY – Today is the birthday of my big brother, Chris. Though he’s 4 years my senior, he still enjoys when people ask if we’re twins. If you want to know the origin story of my anger, you can’t really tell it without Chris. His relentless teasing prompted such violent responses from me, that […]

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