Author Archive for Angry Ward

Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

rss feed

Angry Ward Wednesday: Mets Mess, #USWNT and Other Thoughts from Abroad

0 Comments

BRONX, NY – As was well-documented here – when Short Matt finally woke up, looked at the site and realized I wasn’t here—I was in Europe last week. It was a bit of a whirlwind tour, as four adults and two kids hit three countries in eight days. Luckily Clark Griswold and Co. had already […]

Share Button

Continue Reading »

Angry Ward: NBA Free Agency, MLB Trade Deadline and Women’s World Cup

0 Comments

NEW YORK, NY – It’s getting a little desperate out there in world of sports. The NBA season just ended with a rash of crippling injuries and a title for a team from Canada. The Blues dispatched the Bruins in an entertaining Stanley Cup, but there’s not much left to cover besides who threw up […]

Share Button

Continue Reading »

Angry Father’s Day: Women Rule & the Knicks Will Always Suck

0 Comments

BRONX, NY – Happy Father’s Day to one and all. But, as far as who might be eyeballing this LATE column, I’d say “one” is a helluva lot closer than “all.” Short Matt, as always, asked for help today. Who am I to say “go f**k yourself” let alone “no?” Let’s get to it. The U.S. […]

Share Button

Continue Reading »

Angry Ward Wednesday: KD, The Cup(s) and The Subway Series

0 Comments

BRONX, NY – It’s already closing in on 9 pm on Tuesday night, and I just don’t have the time or energy to be clever or wax poetic… but am I ever those things? Instead, I’m just gonna let fly with the main sports stuff just about everybody’s talking about, and just be done with […]

Share Button

Continue Reading »

Angry Ward Wednesday: An Open Letter to Tom Brady

0 Comments

NEW YORK, NY – Before I get into this, I need to clear up one thing. As far as New England Patriots bashing goes, I’ve pretty much been a non-participant all these years. Though I am no Pats fan, I can at least appreciate a team that has been this good for this long, owned by […]

Share Button

Continue Reading »

Angry Ward Wednesday: We Need to Talk About Your Baseball Team

0 Comments

BRONX, NY – I was gonna write about the horrors associated with filling in as coach for my daughter’s soccer team Memorial Day weekend, but nobody wants to read 500+ words of me whining about the various monsters you meet when engaged in such an activity. Instead, I’m gonna stick with the pros, and talk a […]

Share Button

Continue Reading »

Angry Ward Wednesday: No LeBron, No Tiger, No Problem – Sports Addition By Subtraction

0 Comments

BRONX, NY – Monday night the Golden State Warriors finished off a sweep of the Portland Trailblazers without the help of Kevin Durant, who is arguably one of the three best players in the game, if not THE best. Anyway, leading up to the sweep, and in its aftermath, sports dopes like Chis Broussard and Stephen […]

Share Button

Continue Reading »

Angry Water Wednesday: Knicks Tank Job Goes in the Tank

0 Comments

SEATTLE, NY – For those of you who don’t live here, it’s been raining like a muthaf**ker in New York. If you don’t know how to swim, or own an ark, this is not the place to be right now. The past two Sundays have been epic washouts. It rained like a b!tch again Monday. And […]

Share Button

Continue Reading »

Angry Ward Wednesday: Golf D!cks, Derby Drama, and Why the Yanks Could Win it All.

0 Comments

BRONX, NY – For self-preservation, and for the common good, I’m not going to get into the many atrocities that are happening daily in this country, and I’m not talking about the Mets offense. We are on a 24-hour horror cycle and there’s no end in sight. So, f**k it, I guess we may as well […]

Share Button

Continue Reading »

Angry Ward Wednesday: Old Guys Rule and Houston Has a Problem

0 Comments

BRONX, NY – I’m glad that, yesterday, Ben Whitney finally ended the streak of no one on this site writing about the NFL Draft. He saved me the trouble of taking on that thankless task and absolutely roasted Giants GM Dave Gettleman in the process. Well done! Speaking of Davey G., he’s 68 years old. […]

Share Button

Continue Reading »

Back to Top