Author Archive for Replacement Matt

Replacement Matt, aka Aussie Matt & Trevor Herrick, has been the Minnie Minoso of MTM from Day One. He's willingly been hit in the undercarriage by cricket balls, had beer poured on him from the upper deck and been handed the camera to hold for Tall and Short Matt on countless occasions. In many ways, he's been too valuable to start. But make no mistake, he'd be the headliner on any other bald guy's sports site!

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Replacement Matt: Will The Nets Ever Have Fans? Will They Replace The Knicks?

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SUBURBIA, NJ – We are in the midst of perhaps the most exciting time of the year in sports; the NBA and NHL Playoffs are fully underway and MLB is beginning to hit a stride and reveal the haves and have-nots. The ponies are gearing up for the Triple Crown events, at least the ones […]

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Replacement Matt Friday: What’s Your Walk-Up Song?

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SALT MINES, SIBERIA – Much like our esteemed colleague Ben Whitney, my subject this week will be inspired by Elvis Andrus’ curious choice of walk up song, the kids favorite, Baby Shark. I believe he made this choice like anyone who gets a song stuck in their head and then tells someone else about it […]

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Replacement Matt on Opening Day: Greatest Replacements in History

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SUBURBIA, NJ – Since the beginning of this site I have somehow been given the designation of Replacement Matt, basically because I shared a (lack of) hairstyle with the two original Matts and was foolish enough to be willing to wear a blue monkey suit when one of them wasn’t around. I was never quite […]

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Replacement Matt Pinch-Hit Dingers re Mets, Knicks, Giants and Rangers

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SUBURBIA, NJ – Once again I’ve been asked to step in and cover for the one alleged “sports-writing professional” on this site… who is absent again. I wonder if his editors at the Sports Desk put up with this sort of thing? If so, we all need to apply there. Anyway, we”ll get to the […]

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Things In Sports We Will Never See Again: Bo, The Splinter, Lefty, Ali

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SUBURBIA, NJ – After reading my esteemed colleague Angry Ward’s piece on great gambling fixes in history and touching on the 1980 Olympic Hockey team it got my wheels turning, and I have decided to present to you Things In Sports We Will Never See Again: A 300-Game Winner or .400 Hitter: In this sad […]

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Spring Training Dispatch: Mets Crowd at Duffy’s in St. Lucie Saddest In The Universe?

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NOTE: A flu-ridden MTM Edit Staff was tardy to the task today, after spewing waste from all orifices. To that “end,” Replacement Matt has heroically stepped in to do some spewing of his own. PORT ST. LUCIE, FL  (via the Hot Tub Time Machine) – The crowd at Duffy’s is perhaps the saddest of such […]

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Sports Justice Handed Down On: Knicks, Mets, Giants, Boston, Kaepernick, Manning

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BROOKLYN, NY  – In response to my recent comments on our esteemed scribes’ posts here, Management has asked me to return to the fray… so here it goes: Now presiding over the case of Justice in the Sports Universe to make things right again, yours truly. I will issue these Judge Dredd-like edicts, because I […]

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Replacement Rant: Sports Are Not Providing The Necessary Escape

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NEW YORK,  NY – In these times, wherever we turn we are assaulted with horrible news…  horrific Facebook posts… useless click-bate… where do we turn? We turn, of course, to sports to ease our minds!  We obsess over RBIs, ERAs and Shooting Percentages, instead of Polling Numbers and Dow Jones averages. But these days, those […]

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Mets, Innings Limits, Six-Tool Players?

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Please take a moment and put our man Junoir Blaber and his family in your thoughts. He lost his Dad yesterday. But he’d want us all to smile, so on with Replacement Matt’s piece. DUMBO, NY – Well, that’s certainly a swift turn of events since my last entry to this scribe. The Mets brass […]

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Mets Are Done, Put It In The Books

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Replacement Matt found this New York Mets script in an abandoned typewriter. INT DAY: JEFF WILPON sits at an oak desk strewn with papers, a mirror with white powder and a .45 automatic near his Mets Helmet Pen Holder. WILPON obviously hasn’t slept for days. His mane resembles that of a drowned rat, his eyes […]

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