Author Archive for The Matts

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OJ Simpson Back In The Limelight. The Juice Squeezed in Vegas

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LAS VEGAS, NV – With fatherhood turning his days into seconds, his sleep-time into blinks of an eye and his coffee intake reaching into the gallons per day, a beleaguered Junoir Blaber is up against it. So yours truly, great American, is here to bail Mr. Blaber out of pundit responsibilities today. Speaking getting of […]

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Worst Coaching Hires In Sports History All In NY: Carlos Beltran, Take A Bow

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NEW YORK, NY – Another, Are-You-F***ing-Kidding-Me move has been made by the New York Mets, in tabbing Carlos Beltran as their new skipper. But really, with the Mets, Knickerbockers and J-E-T-S all in the same town, why should we be surprised by such a choice? Indeed, this town’s Boulevard of Bad Coaching Moves is littered […]

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Giant Killer Mickey Callaway, Brodie Van Wagenen Defining Moment, Jets Lose To Pats

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NEW YORK, NY – Admittedly, yours truly was a ass over teakettle this weekend, rising in the wee hours to watch the Rugby World Cup quarterfinals in Japan. That included being at the Pig N Whistle [insert Angry Ward wisecrack here] at 6AM on Saturday morning. That was followed by working the Notre Dame vs […]

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Sports Monday Morsels: Giants Game Plan, Neon Deion, No-Trade Brodie, Saints Damned

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NEW YORK, NY – It’s a happy Monday for some and a not-so-happy Monday for others, depending how your teams fared. Looking back in retrospect is easy, right? Something about hindsight and next year? (2020, folks) Well, since Monday morning quarterbacking is a specialty here, let’s redigest some what the weekend served as per today’s […]

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MLB Wild Card Hunt: Manager Moves, Joe Girardi, Wally Backman, Mickey Callaway, Custer and Revere?

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CHELSEA, NYC – Working on the set of a popular major network cop show last night as a Special Effects guy making smoke and wetting down W27th Street, made keeping up with the MLB Wild Card hunt a tad difficult. And as a charter chugger of the Jonestown-like Kool-Aid us weak-willed Mets fans gulp at […]

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Blockbuster Blackout MLB Trades You May Not Know Of

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NEW YORK, NY – For those of you just stirring from a coma or hiding in a fallout shelter, there was a Big Apple blackout last night. And boy did things get a little crazy. Many were doing their best Snake Plissken impersonation, as traffic signals made any Escape From New York simultaneously necessary, yet […]

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MTM Spectacular Sunday Sports Quiz: We Give The Answers So You Can Stop Looking Stupid

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NEW YORK, NY – To steal an adjective from Bob Murphy, it’s marvelous outside today in Mattville, so let’s cut right to the chase so we can all go out and chase down a few adult beverages. And that chase ends at today’s MTM Spectacular Sunday Sports Quiz… And we are giving you the answers, […]

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Biggest Sports Lie of the Year, David Wright’s Return, Pro Rugby in NYC

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NEW YORK, NY – As Replacement Matt has his hands full working with Tall Matt and Short Matt (me) on a commercial, he asked one of us to replace him today. And since Tall Matt is like Chuck from Happy Days, it fell on my shoulders to talk about the Biggest Sports Lie of the […]

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MLB S.O.B.s: Which Son of a Baseball Player Do You Want? Tatis, Guerrero, Kershaw?

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ALBANY, NY – When two members of your starting rotation go AWOL for questionable behavior, you can’t help but curse and murmur expletives like [frogging bunk tile] or a Son of a B!tch or two. But instead of naming Junoir Blaber or Cheesy Bruin as the rightful recipients of the aforementioned rough language on an […]

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The Puck Drops Here. Different Matt’s NHL Playoffs Preview

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NEW YORK, NY – The NHL regular season ended Saturday and we’re set to roll into hockey’s second season. It’s on to the two-month extravaganza that culminates in one team lifting Lord Stanley’s Cup as the league champions. After teams jockeyed for position over the last couple of months, the playoff match-ups are set for […]

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