Angry Ward

Angry Ward: Your Baseball Team’s New Pandemic Name

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BRONX, NY – You know what I really love about writing these posts for this site; I mean besides the great pay, travel, and benefits? I love these opening paragraphs, where you just try to throw in enough words so that the “meat” of your article doesn’t appear in those few “preview” lines on the homepage […]

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Angry Ward: Ian Desmond Opts Out, Newton Goes New England and Carl Reiner Leaves Us Laughing

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BRONX, NY – Welcome to July, b!tches! How does it feel to be done with June and only have roughly two more months of summer to kill before we find out that football is officially cancelled and every state declares all narcotics legal? In the meantime, we are all still going through the motions with […]

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Angry Ward: Baseball is Back, NHL Ready to Rumble, and Other Sports Thoughts

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BRONX, NY – As we all enter into summer like we’re serving out a prison sentence, I can’t help but chuckle at this site’s tagline: Where Sports Get Funny. Is there anything all that funny these days? I mean besides Trump drawing fewer fans to his Tulsa circle jerk than a Miami Marlins home game in September. Now […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Kyrie, Manfred, and Football’s Follies – Sports are Still a Mess

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BRONX, NY – So much going on in sports these days and, like the world itself, not much of it is good. If you get your rocks off to golf or twist your nipples watching NASCAR, then you’re pretty much set. But if you’re still patiently waiting on the return of basketball and hockey and the […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Let the Healing Begin with Cowboy Kaepernick, Disco Era Baseball and Bugs Bunny

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BRONX, NY – I’m going to do my best to follow Ben Whitney’s lead and try to keep things positive this week. As Cheesy Bruin and my brother navigate their own paths to recovery, and America tries to heal both its mental and physical wounds, the last thing we need is me complaining about the baseball […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Stinky Sports Movies to Help You Forget Our Stinkier World

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BRONX (IS BURNING), NY – You know, I kept saying that this summer in NYC could shape up very much like 1977, and we’ve already got the looting piece covered on our bingo cards. All we need now is a blackout (I think this is a slam dunk), the Yankees making a run (if baseball […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Staring Down Summer Through the Eyes of My Brothers

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BRONX, NY – So, it’s not even half over yet, and already I have no problem crowning 2020 as the runaway winner of “Worst Year of My Life, So Far.” What an absolute sh!tshow. Even Rod Serling would be like, “C’mon guys, all of these things at once? There’s enough material here for at least […]

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Sports Mash Unit: Teams That Won Without Injured Stars

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COVID CENTRAL, NYC – As we continue to navigate this hazy, blurred maze of The Covid Zone, our staff has taken turns on the DL IL in unprecedented fashion… and not because of the Coronavirus. Buddy Diaz rightfully needed a spot starter when he lost a friend. Our resident tough guy, Cheesy Bruin, missed a […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Meet the Matts Spinoff Websites I’m Gonna Make When I Grow Up

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PLANET EARTH – By now, we’ve all had plenty of time to take a long look in the mirror, take stock, and think about our lives and choices. I know I have. I haven’t come to many concrete conclusions other than I need to bring more underwear, socks, and t-shirts on my next so-called “vacation.” […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Mets Pest, Football Feeds, and Other Things I’ll Be Missing

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STILL IN FLORIDA – So much news to report. Let’s get to it! For those of you who don’t know, Publix is a huge Supermarket chain mostly in Florida, but in the South in general. It’s clean, the employees are ridiculously personable, and you can drive a Semi down the frozen food aisle while maintaining […]

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