Ben Whitney

Big Ben’s Hot Takes: Tom Brady’s Jersey Found, Dirk Nowitzki, Northwestern Hosed, Through Legs Lacrosse Shot

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DJ Eberle called in sick yesterday, so Hot Takes falls to me. I gotta have more Hot Takes! Let’s get to it. Tom Brady’s Jersey Great news, the FBI tracked down Tom Brady’s Super Bowl jersey! Trump spared no expense in recovering the game worn memento. Said Trump most likely, “It was the least I could do […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: NFL QB Staring Contests; Brock Osweiler, Tony Romo and Jimmy Garoppolo

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CHUNKY, MISSISSIPPI – I’ve got my head turned toward the NFL again, and the QB Chinese fire drill is riveting. The landscape for quarterbacks is pretty barren – only old and fragile veterans remain available, while the draft class is filled with not-ready-for-prime-time projects. Anybody with an arm and a few snaps under his belt is getting […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: How to Fix the Cleveland Browns, Whitney on Whitney

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KICKAPOO, KS –  I was thinking of exploring the rumor that Vladimir Putin hacked into St. Louis Blues’ GM Doug Armstrong’s email to trade Kevin Shattenkirk to the Capitals . Vlad is dying to see Russian winger Alex Ovechkin win a Cup. #Sad. But I need a challenge, so I decided to single-highhandedly fix the Cleveland Browns. […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Goalie With Ice Allergy, Unsatisfied Kate Upton, Patriots Doing Dumb Things, Awesome Oscar Snub

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TIMBUKTU, MALI – Welcome to the last day of the worst month of the year. I’m still a few weeks from caring about baseball and about a week away from caring about the NCAA tournament. The Knicks might not be relevant again in my lifetime and I plan to live to 782, like Methuselah. Since […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Flat Earth NBA? Carmelo Plays Some D? Phil Jackson Defends Knicks?

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STAMFORD, CT: Normally I’d be on beach right now, drinking a way-too-early Margarita. But infants can’t do a thing for themselves, it turns out, so I’m stuck here in the dead of winter. Anyway… It’s Presidents Day as I write, or as it will now be called, I Don’t Know, Someone Gave Me That Information Day! While […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Cruz Cut, Knicks Stun, Rangers Lacking, Who Stole Tom Brady’s Jersey?

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STAMFORD, CT: In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’ll of course be focusing on the big news that Derek Jeter is going to be a father. Or not… I could write about the Knicks shocking victory over the Spurs, and how it might affect the possibility of a Melo trade or maybe the Rangers’ need of a steady blue-liner to […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Breaking Down Falcons’ Flop, Supermodel Celebration for the Ages

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Houston, TX: Clearly there is no justice in the world. What a depressing end to a riveting Super Bowl. Watching the Falcons do everything right until they did everything wrong was painful, and Hell’s favorite QB and Coach added another ring to their impressive resumés. The Falcons’ hammer missed the coffin’s last nail and the Pats clawed their […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Super Bowl Prop Bets, Knicks Defense, NHL Rangers Outlook

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WHITE PLAINS, NY – I expected Trump to make America great again, but not this fast. I intentionally lost a game of Scrabble today, just because I’m so tired of winning already. Speaking of too much winning, if you’re like me, you’d rather eat a roadkill sandwich with vegenaise than watch the Pats win another […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Alternative Super Bowl Facts, Reluctant Patriots Praise, Belichick vs Brady, Most Awkward Trophy Presentation?

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WASHINGTON , DC: Our man Ebs felt the pressing need to break down the Buffalo Sabres yesterday, so it falls to me to take the first look at the Super Bowl. Among other things, we’ll discuss Bill Belichick, an honorable man who would rather lose than compromise the integrity of the game. That may seem false at […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Knicks Poo, QB Heavy NFL Championship Games, Jets Bare QB Outlook

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Stamford, CT – There’s a lot going on in the Whitney house these days. I’ve got month old twin girls keeping me up at night, taking turns crying in a suspiciously coordinated manner. Meanwhile, my lab puppy Chief has been vomiting a few times a day. He ate a sock, it turned out, but he would immediately eat […]

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