Replacement Matt

Sports Quarantine Solutions: LeBron, NHL in Yellowknife, MLB Moves To Florida

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NEW PESTILENCE, NJ – Happy Friday everyone, in The Land That Time Forgot. Days of the week mean nothing while sitting home for the umpteenth day running home school and wondering if everything you experience is a symptom of the bug. But enough about that noise, let’s talk about the world we wished we still […]

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Suspend This! To-Do List for Sports Fans During Coronavirus Lockdown

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MEDICAL TENT, ANTARCTICA – The NBA is suspended indefinitely, The NCAA tournament will be not be played. Short Matt’s Major League Rugby suspended matches for a month after Buddy Diaz jinked jinxed them yesterday. And as I type, the NHL has suspended its season and MLB has suspended the remaining spring training games and at […]

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Replacement Friday: The Worst Week in Sports

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MUTTONTOWN, RI – Happy Friday to you my friends. I have been racking my head for days and I’ve come up with very little to talk about. Why? Because this is possibly The Worst Week in Sports. There is literally nothing of note going on at all. I mean, people are talking about a heavyweight […]

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Replacement Friday: MLB Rule Changes, Hobbies For Jeff Wilpon Away From Mets

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“What is the point of having new ownership if the boob who sunk the franchise to bush league depths gets to stay in charge? – Replacement Matt GROUNDHOG DAY, PA – Winter is waning, spring is just around the corner, birds are chirping and a Chinese Hoax is taking hold. Pitcher and Catchers have reported […]

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Steve Mills is out as the New York Knicks Trade Deadline Looms

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SPANISH HARLEM – On Tuesday Steve Mills was fired as President of the New York Knicks. Though it was surprising to some that it came so close to the trade deadline, I find myself not surprised at anything done by James Dolan. It was rumored that Mills and Scott Perry would be out at the […]

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Super Bowl Weekend: Prop Bets, Thoughts, Predictions

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MIAMI, FL – Yes folks, hold on to your hats, the Big Game is fast approaching, Super Bowl Sunday will be here before you know it and we may actually have a game on our hands this time. I’ve been listening to everyone of these so called experts go back and forth. Well who cares […]

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Replacement Matt: Beltran Out. Cora Ejected. Here Are Replacements

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FLUSHING, TOILET – Well lookie here, the New York Metropolitans have succumbed to pressure and agreed to [Almost] Manager Carlos Beltran stepping down in the wake of the Houston cheating scandal. Who knew? The court of public opinion is stronger than the Wilpon’s purse strings apparently. Are they actually going to pay three managers at […]

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Clairvoyant Matt: Bold Sports Predictions for Giants, Mets, Knicks, Rangers, Celeb Pundits

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WEST BROOKLYN, NJ – A very Happy New Year to you my friends! As the days between the years come to an end we all slide into an uncertain future. What will tomorrow bring? What will the coming year bring? Where will we be in ten years? Well, fear not I have seen the future […]

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Replacement Matt: Cespedes Contract Reduced, Ellsbury, Phil Jackson To Follow?

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WEST BROOKLYN, NJ – Happy Holidays and all that to you my friends. Welcome to the most stressful time of the year. Scramble to get your work done, scramble to get your cards out, scramble to write your column. It is clearly the way of the future. Take heed you sinners. Recently the New York […]

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Replacement Matt: Notes for New Mets Owner Steve Cohen and Bobby Bonilla

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WEST BROOKLYN, NJ – Yes kids, Santa has come early this year and granted all the good little Mets boys and girls wishes… The Wilpons are selling their stake in the team to the man who will be the wealthiest owner in all sports. No more penny-pinching and dumpster-diving. No more being just good enough […]

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