Replacement Matt

Replacement Matt Pinch-Hit Dingers re Mets, Knicks, Giants and Rangers

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SUBURBIA, NJ – Once again I’ve been asked to step in and cover for the one alleged “sports-writing professional” on this site… who is absent again. I wonder if his editors at the Sports Desk put up with this sort of thing? If so, we all need to apply there. Anyway, we”ll get to the […]

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Things In Sports We Will Never See Again: Bo, The Splinter, Lefty, Ali

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SUBURBIA, NJ – After reading my esteemed colleague Angry Ward’s piece on great gambling fixes in history and touching on the 1980 Olympic Hockey team it got my wheels turning, and I have decided to present to you Things In Sports We Will Never See Again: A 300-Game Winner or .400 Hitter: In this sad […]

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Spring Training Dispatch: Mets Crowd at Duffy’s in St. Lucie Saddest In The Universe?

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NOTE: A flu-ridden MTM Edit Staff was tardy to the task today, after spewing waste from all orifices. To that “end,” Replacement Matt has heroically stepped in to do some spewing of his own. PORT ST. LUCIE, FL  (via the Hot Tub Time Machine) – The crowd at Duffy’s is perhaps the saddest of such […]

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Sports Justice Handed Down On: Knicks, Mets, Giants, Boston, Kaepernick, Manning

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BROOKLYN, NY  – In response to my recent comments on our esteemed scribes’ posts here, Management has asked me to return to the fray… so here it goes: Now presiding over the case of Justice in the Sports Universe to make things right again, yours truly. I will issue these Judge Dredd-like edicts, because I […]

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He’s Not Your Friend… Guy. Politics, Sports, Boss Bashing and South Park Collide

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By Tall Matt & Replacement Matt NEW YORK, NY – In the spirit of recent plagiarism, we’ll abscond with this familiar line from the 2008 South Park episode titled “Canada on Strike.” The question this phrase begs is “Are we really all Short Matt’s friends?” Can we put up with being called “guy” incessantly? We […]

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Replacement Rant: Sports Are Not Providing The Necessary Escape

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NEW YORK,  NY – In these times, wherever we turn we are assaulted with horrible news…  horrific Facebook posts… useless click-bate… where do we turn? We turn, of course, to sports to ease our minds!  We obsess over RBIs, ERAs and Shooting Percentages, instead of Polling Numbers and Dow Jones averages. But these days, those […]

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Mets, Innings Limits, Six-Tool Players?

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Please take a moment and put our man Junoir Blaber and his family in your thoughts. He lost his Dad yesterday. But he’d want us all to smile, so on with Replacement Matt’s piece. DUMBO, NY – Well, that’s certainly a swift turn of events since my last entry to this scribe. The Mets brass […]

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Mets Are Done, Put It In The Books

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Replacement Matt found this New York Mets script in an abandoned typewriter. INT DAY: JEFF WILPON sits at an oak desk strewn with papers, a mirror with white powder and a .45 automatic near his Mets Helmet Pen Holder. WILPON obviously hasn’t slept for days. His mane resembles that of a drowned rat, his eyes […]

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Replacement Matt with MLB Trading Deadline Mets and Knicks Rant

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Thanks to Replacement Matt for stepping in today. He’s just recovering from a mishap in Australia from years ago. WILLIAMSBURG, NY – Its just over three weeks until the MLB Trading Deadline and nary a peep from Sage Sandy Alderson, who is charged with leading our tribe out of the wilderness. A wilderness he is […]

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Super Bowl Post Mortem; New York Knicks Think Tank, Brady as Jenner?

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BROOKLYN, NY – Greetings, everyone in Mattsland! Replacement Matt, aka Dude, pitching in for your Friday… I know the Super Bowl is almost a week in the collective rear-view mirror and has been beaten to death but I’d like to add a few thoughts: First: Anyone who thinks Coach Carroll’s call to not run Beast […]

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