Tall Matt
Draft Kings and FanDuel are Boxing Us Out
INWOOD, NY – I don’t know about you, but when I see the word draft, I think of beer on tap. When I read the word king, I think of someone with supreme authority. So a draft king ought to be someone who is either an expert on beer or a person, like Short Matt, […]
Gotham Humming as Rangers and Isles Take Command, Dark Knight Harvey Returns
GOTHAM, USA – It’s the best time of year for a hockey addict like myself. (And it’s pretty good right now for Mutts fans). Indeed, Gotham is humming as both the New York hockey teams took command and The Dark Knight returned to clean up The Mess. The NHL playoffs kicked off with the Islanders […]
Fantasy Football Sucks: Tall Matt Sounds Off
INWOOD, NY – First of all, I’m not a huge football fan. I grew up loving the LA Rams and then drifted away from the sport until the mid 1980s when I moved back to NYC and the Giants struck my fancy (that’s what I call my privates – “my fancy”). As a baseball-first enthusiast, […]
Does Pinch-Hitting Stink? Tall Matt’s Dropping The Kids In The Pool:
Yesterday, Short Matt asked if I could pinch-hit for Cookie – with very last-minute notice. I read it as “Could I pinch Cookie?” So I asked for her address and a permission slip from Mr. Cookie… Surely, I jest. As it turns out, I had squat prepared for this kind of request and as I […]
Undistinguished Gentlemen: Here’s To The Loser Siblings
INWOOD, LONG ISLAND – Since I’m sometimes referred to as the Chuck of Happy Days here, part of me always wants to feel bad for the half-wit siblings of celebrities. Less funny, less talented, less driven, much uglier and less intelligent. No, less is not more for these lemons. Some of these sycophantic siblings, thankfully, […]
TALL MATT TUESDAY: TUCKS PADS PARK
by Tall Matt NEW YORK, NY – I am too young to remember Robert F. Kennedy as a US Senator from New York State. Yes, he was a carpetbagger but from what I can read and learn about his time here as US Attorney General and as an inspiring candidate for the 1968 Democratic Presidential […]
PEYTON'S PLACE: GREATEST QB EVER?!
by Tall Matt INDIANAPOLIS, IN – The debate remains open as to whether Peyton Williams Manning is the greatest quarterback to ever play American Football. There was voodoo and mojo and Santeria in the air in Miami Sunday night and most of it went the Saints way. A great American city still trying to shake […]
He’s Not Your Friend… Guy. Politics, Sports, Boss Bashing and South Park Collide
By Tall Matt & Replacement Matt NEW YORK, NY – In the spirit of recent plagiarism, we’ll abscond with this familiar line from the 2008 South Park episode titled “Canada on Strike.” The question this phrase begs is “Are we really all Short Matt’s friends?” Can we put up with being called “guy” incessantly? We […]
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