Tag: Al Davis

Angry Ward Wednesday: The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly of NFL Head Coaches

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NEW YORK, NY – How the hell did it get to be November? It’s dark out at 4:30, Christmas decorations are already up, and the Giants and Jets have long since been eliminated from everything but the race to see who picks first in next year’s NFL Draft. Speaking of the NFL, it never ceases to […]

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Presidential Candidates As Sports Teams: Who They Would Be

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ZIT POP, KY – From this blemish of the smallest towns, to the schmaltzy cheese (not mine) of West Palm Beach, Presidential Candidates (or not so “Presidential” Candidates) are taking to soap boxes and podiums to expound upon their fitfulness/street creds , so that you will make him, her or it (Trump and Alf have […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: What Kind of Owner Does Your Team Have?

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BRONX, NY – It’s time to take ownership, people. Ownership of your words, ownership of your actions, and ownership of what types of owners own your favorite sports teams. If recent events have taught us anything, it’s that we just can’t scrutinize the players we root for but we must also take a good long […]

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Rex and Korak Save Christmas! Plus: The Tebow Girl!!!

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*Rex O’Rourke wrote for 2+ years before passing the Sunday Pen to Cheesy Bruin. Korak is the Gorilla that played in the NFL, as per West Coast Craig. North Pole – Santa Clause cursed loudly as he loaded another candy cane shell into a giant cinnamon stick cannon and blasted it skyward…at the enormous flying saucer spinning […]

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AL DAVIS ROCKED NFL FOR A LONG, LONG TIME

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THE COLISEUM – Football lost one of its great cartoon super-villains on Saturday when Al Davis passed. Oh sure, yesterday’s games had moments of silence for Davis; the pre-packaged bios, and Commissioner Roger Goodell appearing in the announcer’s booth at the Raiders game to speak about the loss with the same enthusiasm a baked ham […]

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DIO HAD ROCKED FOR A LONG LONG TIME

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by West Coast Craig HEAVEN AND HELL – It’s true, Ronnie James (Padavona) Dio did rock for a long, long time, since the sixties in fact, before succumbing to stomach cancer yesterday. Now a nation of metal heads is left to wonder, where will we get our videos that involve swords and demons and strange […]

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WHAT A YEAR TWO WEEKS MAKE!!!

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by Junior Blaber (Not above) NEW YORK, NY – I wanna dedicate this article to Jean Finnegan Biden, Joe Biden’s mom. I like Biden in general cause you just never know what he is gonna say. Sucks to have someone you know die, especially your mom. So RIP and my condolences, Joe. NOTE: We’re not […]

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WHO WILL WIN IN TWENTY TIN???

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Moose Jaw “Bravest” earning the name. MOOSE JAW, CANADA – We’re up here, in the land of Moose Javians (look it up) and moose – not meese or mooses – preparing for the latest big NHL news and news of Robbie Alomar’s Hall Of Fame fate. Jacques Demers, current Sénateur after being appointed in August, […]

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NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS

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By Rex O’Rourke New York, N.Y. – It’s time for some of our most famous sports figures to make their New Year’s Resolutions. So without further ado… Omar Minaya – I vow to emerge from from my self induced coma and begin the process of finding a first baseman, second baseman, right fielder, left fielder, […]

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IT'S GOTTA BE BETTER THAN "COUGAR TOWN"

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by Rex O’Rourke TECHNICAL NOTE: You may experience “STUFF” going on we’re ‘propagating’ between servers. THANK YOU LOS ANGELES, CA – I have two ideas for some mid-season TV replacement shows. First of all, in true Hollywood fashion, what’s worth doing is worth overdoing. So, to cash in on all the vampire themed movies and […]

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