Tag: Angry Ward

Grinding Ax Edition: Eli’s Coming! Roger Goodell Wins Lottery

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MONMOUTH COUNTY, NJ –  Eli’s Comin’… Eli’s Comin’… Eli’s Comin’… Well Cowboys fans, you better hide your heart, your cowboy lovin’ heart… Eli’s Comin’ and the cards say… A Broken Heart!  It has been a Very Tense season for the Giants and Eli Manning. Who would ever have thought that the team with the NFC’s most stingy defense last season […]

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Puck Heads: Different Matt Talks NHL, Streaky NY Rangers

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NEW YORK, NY – The NY Rangers went into Tuesday night’s game against the Florida Panthers looking for their fifth straight win and their ninth straight win at home. But when it was all said and done, the “Fire AV” squad were out in full force. It was a game that displayed the best and […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Kaput Cowboys, Brown Bombers Bombers, Other Christmas List Items

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NEW YORK, NY – They light the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center in New York City tonight. I’m hyper-aware of this because 1) I live in New York and 2) I work only a couple of blocks from 30 Rock. But, the fact that we are about to fall headlong into the holidays should come […]

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Big Ben Whitney: NFL Quick Hitters and the Japanese Babe Ruth

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Stamford, CT: Don’t bogart that thing bro, (do people still say “bogart,” it’s been a while?), it’s time for more NFL Quick Hitters. I’ll check in on our local teams and the AFC West, suddenly the worst division in the league. I’m also looking eastward, anticipating the arrival of the “Japanese Babe Ruth.” Big Blue Turd […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Let Us Give Thanks… Vikings, John Candy, Knicks, Rangers, Mets

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BRONX, NY – Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which means you all still have around 24 hours to watch the classic, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, before being bombarded with Christmas flicks. So revel in lines like “I’ve never seen a guy get picked up by his testicles before” and “Larry Bird doesn’t do as much ball-handling in one […]

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What The Hell’s Going On Out Here?! Buffalo Bills Edition

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WEST PITTSTON, PA – Well, that was fun. So the Buffalo Bills haven’t made the playoffs since I was seven. The year was 1999. A lot of negativity has happened over the last 17 years. And I mean a lot. But the last three weeks take the cake. It’s not even close. The Bills have […]

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FREE NFL Picks: Cash In On Depressing Games, Select NFL Chearleaders

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depression (n.) feelings of severe despondency and dejection MARLBORO, NY – There’s no amount of medicine that can make me feel better about my Fantasy Lineup for this week. I am forced, due to Tampa Bay shelving Jameis Winston for a “few weeks” and Derek Carr’s bye week, into starting New England backup QB Brian […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: McAdoo Out, Melo Meh, Bob McNair Does Nothing – It All Adds Up

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BRONX, NY – People, you haven’t lived until you’ve overseen long division and multiplication homework for your fourth-grader. If Eli Apple showed even one-tenth of the passion for tackling and defending that my kid shows for not wanting any part of math, he’d be well on his way to becoming the next Dick “Night Train” Lane. […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Deshaun Watson Next Michael Jordan?! Plus, More Browns’ Poop

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WHITE PLAINS, NY  – NFL Week 8 is in the books and I’m having trouble figuring out the real contenders. You can’t expect me to believe the Eagles are the best team in the NFC? It was interesting week, but I’m not sure how much we learned. Maybe a few things. Deshaun Watson is Legit […]

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Rebuilding Year Championship Curse, Jets Worst Nightmare, USA Soccer Void

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EL BARRIO, EL FALLS  – Welcome to Jolly Junoir Wednesday. This will be one-time-only event. I am pinch hitting for Angry Ward, who is busy in Vegas cheering on his second team, the Las Vegas Golden Knights, on those long Las Vegas nights. MORE ON WARD: he’s taking the “…stays in Vegas” thing a step […]

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