Tag: Coronavirus

Big Ben: Finding Silver Linings in the Coronavirus Lockdown – with John Lennon, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Alex Ovechkin

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WUHAN CLAN – Hey there. How are you guys handling the sheltering? Things are getting weird. But with this sudden addition of free time, we finally have time to get some sh!t done. You know, when we’re not “working from home.” It’s time to finish that screenplay, paint the deck, binge-watch The Wire and reconnect with […]

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A Different List of Baseball Movies to Get You Through Quarantine

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QUARANTINE, USA – As Short Matt promised earlier this morning, I’m back. I’m back but these are unprecedentedly depressing times. We are locked in our homes with no sports to watch. But there are other ways to get your fix. There are plenty of streaming services out there and there are plenty of sports movies […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Things We Won’t Miss When The Coronavirus is Over

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20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: I was on a submarine for the two months with no wifi. What’d I miss? Like everyone else, I’m sitting getting reacquainted with my family, waiting for the vaccine to come along and wipe out this virus. You know, just like the flu vaccine wiped out the flu. The Texans […]

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Suspend This! To-Do List for Sports Fans During Coronavirus Lockdown

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MEDICAL TENT, ANTARCTICA – The NBA is suspended indefinitely, The NCAA tournament will be not be played. Short Matt’s Major League Rugby suspended matches for a month after Buddy Diaz jinked jinxed them yesterday. And as I type, the NHL has suspended its season and MLB has suspended the remaining spring training games and at […]

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NBA Suspends Regular Season re Ruby Gobert; Pressure on MLB, NHL, XFL, MLR

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SPANISH HARLEM – It all started with the Oklahoma City Thunder and Utah Jazz game being suddenly postponed for unknown reasons. It was suspicious and led many to believe that it was serious, because the NBA doesn’t just cancel games. Soon enough, the news broke that Ruby Gobert tested positive for the #Coronavirus. It was […]

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Yankees Will Lose Because of Joe Biden. Plus: Goose Gossage, Tim Tebow, Mets

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NOTE: The Coronavirus is NOT something Mets fans have been suffering with, like Bell’s Palsy, for all but two year years of the team’s existence. CORONA [QUEENS], NY – The planets are all aligning, Ladies and Germs. (Too soon for Coronavirus jokes?) Further, via Scientific Method we are able to predict/hypothesize with 93.6% accuracy the […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: The Virus and Noah’s Flood, the Rangers Likely Can’t Overcome Igor and Kreider Injuries

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Wuhan, China: I hope you all enjoy my last submission before I go to the bunker. Next week many of us will be dead. Except the kids. No kids are dying and hardly any are catching this virus. I’m not a religious man, but if there is some cosmic string puller up there, he probably […]

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