Tag: Dallas Cowboys

Cleveland Browns 2019: Don’t Believe The Hype. Cheesy Bruin Reports

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BLOOMINGBURG, NY – There are other things I’d rather be talking about today but there’s something bugging the sh!t out of me that has come to a head very recently, the result of watching NFL coverage. The Cleveland Browns are being talked about ad nauseam. Don’t believe the hype machine with this team.  I’m here […]

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NFC East: QB Question Marks for Each Team. Carson Wentz Top of List

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SPANISH HARLEM – Preseason football is upon us and I’m taking notice of the NFC East. For starters, it holds not only my favorite team but also a New York Giants team that many readers on this site root for. As I thought about my Philadelphia Eagles, it always came down to Carson Wentz. He […]

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Working Vacation Ward Wednesday: Unlimited Pasta, Prescott, and Mets Coverage

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SCORCHED HELLSCAPE, FL – Why the hell do I continue to fire off columns, into the void, even while on vacation? I think there’s no good answer except to say that, by now, it’s out of habit more than anything. Let this serve as a dire warning to the Ben Whitneys and Buddy Diazes of […]

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Big Ben Whitney: Cris Carter’s Indefensible, Asinine Comments on Daniel Jones

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Stamford, CT: We interrupt the regularly scheduled Mets’ stroke session to bring you some football news. Daniel Jones sure looked sharp in his first preseason action over the weekend, completing all five of his passes including a pretty TD. Though it was only one series, you’d think his performance would have been enough to get […]

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100 Years of the NFL: Then And Now

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“Personally, I think it’s a shame, all the star football players who retired in the prime of life. Lou Groza, washed up at 43. Ben Agajanian, prematurely retired at 45. Y. A. Tittle, gone when he was 38 and Bob Waterfield at 33. Norm Van Brocklin hung them up at 35 as did Otto Graham, […]

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MLB Trade Deadline Mets, NFL Holdout Season, LA Clippers

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EL BARRIO, EL FALLS – I would say our fans expect better of me but who am I kidding? Our fan base is a cult, so they will put up with my shenanigans. Plus, I know the owner can’t fire me. Today’s topics are: Tradeline Mets, NFL Holdout Season And LA Clippers. Trade Deadline Mets:  […]

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Major League Pitching Problems, London MLB Flop

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BLOOMINGBURG, NY – The NFL season can’t get here fast enough for me since all I’m left with to watch on television is baseball. This modern version of the American pastime is really somewhat irritating and is nothing like the game I grew up on. The London series (where baseball doesn’t belong) between the Yankees […]

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Knicks Drafting Third, NBA Combine and The Jets Being The Jets

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EL BARRIO, EL FALLS – So, late Friday night, I realized I had a column due and… [cue record scratch sound] Hold up! Apparently, despite having more tenure than The Dude and Ben Whitney, I get the DJ Eberle treatment. Apparently a bit of banter re why my posts are sometimes tardy is not welcome! […]

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Replacement Matt on Opening Day: Greatest Replacements in History

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SUBURBIA, NJ – Since the beginning of this site I have somehow been given the designation of Replacement Matt, basically because I shared a (lack of) hairstyle with the two original Matts and was foolish enough to be willing to wear a blue monkey suit when one of them wasn’t around. I was never quite […]

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Get Fired? Don’t Worry. Here Are Sports Stars That Got Axed Before Making It Big

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NEW YORK, NY – Since we launched in 2005 (yes, it’s been that long) nobody has gotten fired from Meet The Matts… Well, other than Tall Matt, who made ridiculous contract demands and berated staff. But in light of one of our own getting a visit from The Turk yesterday at his day job, this […]

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