Tag: Donald Trump

Angry Ward Wednesday: Don’t Watch Sports!

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BRONX, NY – I’m back from vacation. On Monday I stared right down the barrel of that solar eclipse, sans viewing specs, and was rewarded with super powers beyond my wildest dreams. For starters, I am now completely impervious to late-night texts from Short Matt asking me to edit someone’s column and telling me how much […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: NFL Controversies; Zeke Elliot Suspended, Marshawn Lynch Sits for Anthem

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DALLAS, TX – It was a rough week for America. Among the bizarre events, freaking Nazis marching around with impunity and a minor nuclear scare. When North Korea threatened to attack Guam, Trump eased the concerns of Governor Eddie Calvo by telling him not to worry; Calvo was about to be famous and tourism to Guam […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Five Things for Mets’ Fans to do in August

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QUEENS, NY: There’s been a lot of winching in recent days about the difficulty of writing about sports in August. It’s understandable, as much of the complaining is coming from New York Mets’ fans. It’s been a while since the Mets have had meaningful games in October. Or August. And most of them are Jets […]

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Warriors Snub Trump? MVP Awards, Markelle Flutz and Mayweather-McGregor Hoax

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EL BARRIO, EL BRONX – I have spent the day fighting off rumors and accusations that I have retired. Apparently, I have been doing so much pinch-hitting that I haven’t written enough for our sister site, Rugby Wrap Up. Anyway, I am not gonna let all that rumor and innuendo get me down as I […]

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Big Ben Tuesday – NY Jets Embark on a Major League Tank Job

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East Rutherford NJ: Last week I took a run at the Mets organization, jokingly comparing them to the Trump Administration. Low blow I know, but the Mets have won four in a row and have powered their way into second place in the NL East. In this week’s rant on bad NY sport organizations, let’s turn […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Are the Mets as Dysfunctional as the Trump Administration?

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Queens, NY: 2017 was going to be the year that the young gun rotation would come together and the New York Mets would finally win the World Series. Expectations were high, but they’ve underachieved again. Injuries have hurt them again, but there are also signs of dysfunction like players refusing MRIs and managers being muzzled. Through […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Who Said It, Trump or Jackie Robinson? Snapshots of the Yanks, Mets, Giants, Jets, Knicks

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MAR-A-LAGO, FL – It was Jackie Robinson Day in baseball on Saturday. The day when all players on all teams wear number 42 to celebrate the life of the great trailblazer. Meanwhile, Donald Trump was learning the intricacies of US foreign policy in ten minute sessions. Advisors are hoping he’ll only blunder his way into a […]

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Big Ben’s Hot Takes: Tom Brady’s Jersey Found, Dirk Nowitzki, Northwestern Hosed, Through Legs Lacrosse Shot

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DJ Eberle called in sick yesterday, so Hot Takes falls to me. I gotta have more Hot Takes! Let’s get to it. Tom Brady’s Jersey Great news, the FBI tracked down Tom Brady’s Super Bowl jersey! Trump spared no expense in recovering the game worn memento. Said Trump most likely, “It was the least I could do […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: How to Fix the Cleveland Browns, Whitney on Whitney

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KICKAPOO, KS –  I was thinking of exploring the rumor that Vladimir Putin hacked into St. Louis Blues’ GM Doug Armstrong’s email to trade Kevin Shattenkirk to the Capitals . Vlad is dying to see Russian winger Alex Ovechkin win a Cup. #Sad. But I need a challenge, so I decided to single-highhandedly fix the Cleveland Browns. […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Goalie With Ice Allergy, Unsatisfied Kate Upton, Patriots Doing Dumb Things, Awesome Oscar Snub

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TIMBUKTU, MALI – Welcome to the last day of the worst month of the year. I’m still a few weeks from caring about baseball and about a week away from caring about the NCAA tournament. The Knicks might not be relevant again in my lifetime and I plan to live to 782, like Methuselah. Since […]

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