Tag: Jerry Jones

Angry Ward: Eli Manning, Vontae Davis, and Other NFL Checkdowns

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BRONX, NY – We’re now two full weeks into the NFL season and already there’s plenty to talk about. And, shockingly, none of it has to do with kneeling during the National Anthem. Bummer. Nevertheless, let’s get rid of this column quick, like a New York Giants offensive possession, so we can punt it away to […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: An Open Letter to Jerry Jones

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August 8, 2018 Dear Jerry Jones: It has come to our attention that you are still the owner of the Dallas Cowboys, one of the most reviled franchises in the history of professional sports. Good for you… for still being alive! We can remember all those years ago when you took control of the only […]

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Fire And Fury, Raiders v Rooney Rule, UCF National Champions

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EL BARRIO, EL FALLS – I got a Mini-Matt text last night. It was a nice/gentle reminder that I was up today.  I laughed because I already knew and had been preparing for my piece. I wanted to talk about my Bills’ experience, and seeing the reaction up close, but so many articles are out […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Packers, Cowboys, Jerry Jones, LeBron and Other Year-End Schadenfreude

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BRONX, NY – The Mets have brought Omar Minaya back. Sweet Baby Jesus. I really can’t bear to talk about the Mets right now. The year is almost up, I’d rather focus on the positives, even if they’re kinda negatives… at least, for some. Let’s do this. Green Bay is Gone. After losing to Carolina 2 weeks […]

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Words Schnatter! Kaepernick Cooks Papa Johns, Peyton, JJ Watt and Jerry Jones.

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LOUISVILLE, KY – Bad pizza enthusiasts, Jerry Jones, Peyton Manning and J.J. Watt are flying their sh!tty pizza boxes at half-mast, as Papa John Schnatter is stepping down as CEO from the Arby’s of Pies – Papa John’s. It seems bad acting in cheesy commercials with The Fun Manning for an Emperor’s New Clothes version […]

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Mets and Sandy Alderson Bad for MLB, Is P Diddy New Trump?

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NEW YORK, NY – It’s always great when MTM Management fails to pass along the memo that the inimitable DJ Eberle is on a Buffalo Bills Walkabout and therefore will not be gracing these pages today with a haplessly hope-filled Hawt Taykes (Hot Takes as it’s pronounced from Albany to Buffalo). Moreover, as yours truly […]

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Grinding Ax Edition: Eli’s Coming! Roger Goodell Wins Lottery

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MONMOUTH COUNTY, NJ –  Eli’s Comin’… Eli’s Comin’… Eli’s Comin’… Well Cowboys fans, you better hide your heart, your cowboy lovin’ heart… Eli’s Comin’ and the cards say… A Broken Heart!  It has been a Very Tense season for the Giants and Eli Manning. Who would ever have thought that the team with the NFC’s most stingy defense last season […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Kaput Cowboys, Brown Bombers Bombers, Other Christmas List Items

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NEW YORK, NY – They light the Christmas tree in Rockefeller Center in New York City tonight. I’m hyper-aware of this because 1) I live in New York and 2) I work only a couple of blocks from 30 Rock. But, the fact that we are about to fall headlong into the holidays should come […]

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The Week That Was: LiAngelo Ball, Lebron Trolls the Knicks and Sunday Night Football

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SPANISH HARLEM, NY – What a week that was… amirite? Frist the Ball family get embrassed by LiAngelo stealing Louie Vutton glasses in China. Then LeBron James trolls the New York Knicks and the team responds in kind. Also the Philadelphia Eagles didn’t play but they still got bashed by Ben Whitney. What more can you ask […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Meet The Matts Power Rankings

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BRONX, NY – You know what’s any easy way to fulfill a column-writing obligation? Write up a list. Any list, really. A Top 10 List, a Best Dressed List, a Greatest Moments List, a list of People You Want to Have Sex With… the list goes on and on. These days one of the most […]

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