Tag: Jim Dolan

Angry Ward: Hall of Fame, Hoops, and Horrendous Super Bowl Hype Week

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Ken Griffey Jr.? Three douchebags failed to vote for him. Tom Seaver? 5 a-holes saw it clear to leave him off. Hank Aaron? 9 obviously- racist f**kheads didn’t vote for him.

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Rain Man Rants: Josh McCown, Knicks Doing It Right And Dez Bryant

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EL BARRIO, EL FALLS: Hey did you hear about the beer chugging TD celebration by that CFL lineman? Of course you did because we talked about it here already and it is all over TV. This is the challenge of writing on Saturday but I did some digging and found a few gems. On the menu for […]

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Judge vs Altuve, LeBron, Cavs, David Griffith, TUBAS, Cespedes to Oakland

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FIRE ISLAND, NY – For those of you that don’t know or may have forgotten, it’s T.U.B.A.S Week, here on this little gem of a Gilligan’s Isle just off Bayshore, Long Island. That’s right, the Touring University [at] Buffalo [Rugby] Alumni Side is out here for their annual week’s vacation – and by vacation we […]

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#Knickstape Forum: Finally the Phil Jackson Era Comes to an END!

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SPANISH HARLEM, NY – Mary Mother of Christ! I read the best news early yesterday morning. New York Knicks owner Jim Dolan was “weighing” the future of Team President Phil Jackson (per Adrian Wojnarowski). Then to top it off, I wake up to the news that the team will be parting ways with Jackson… very […]

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Czar Trump: What If Donald Trump Ruled Sports?

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NEW YORK, NY – The lines between suspended reality and reality have not just blurred, they’ve vanished. The Donald Trump has vanquished such lines, as he farts, belches, swears, spits and flips the bird on his way to The White House… um, er… The Trump House. But hold on… what if John & Mary Q. […]

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Carmelo Anthony is a PIG; A Tale of Two Dolans

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SEARCHLIGHT, NV—You know how difficult it is to find wholesome, feel good stories when it comes to the athletes we so admire today?  I do. This is why, as the Upton Sinclair of MeetTheMatts, I am compelled to go into sports’ slaughterhouses and expose the heinous acts committed against humanity. Phil Jackson was hanging from a giant […]

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NBA Free Agency and the Myth of the Zen Master

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Terre Haute, IN–The most exciting time of the year in the NBA begins in earnest tomorrow. For most NBA fans, July 1st means the start of free agency. A time when every mediocre, uni-dimensional player is in line for an 8 figure annual salary. The season just ended about 10 minutes ago, and like most […]

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Derek Fisher Hooks Knicks, Rangers Seance, Jack Bauer

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NEW YORK, NY – The crystal balls, rabbit’s feet and throwbacks jerseys are out, along with ANY other superstitions in NY in an effort to “will” these Rangers to the Stanley Cup. The likes of Graves, Buekeboom, Ulf Nilson, Glenn Anderson are among the cavalcade of former Blueshirts headed by none other than the “Captain” […]

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Blaber’s Blabberings: Worse Than Rob Ford Sports Comparative

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“You shall no longer be called Lucifer – bringer of Light but – as Satan.” CHRANTA, CANADA – Welcome all to Deacon Blaber’s Saturday Evangelizing, my bully pulpit for the sporting masses. For the longest time it was thought that calling someone worse than Satan/the Devil was the ultimate insult. If you are a Rangers […]

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Current Madison Square Garden Chants: Potvin Sucks! Let’s Go Rangers! Hey Carmelo, You Suck!

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NEW YORK, NY – Real starvation has consumed the Greater New York area – in the sports arena. And in no arena is that more evident than it is in the one between 7th and 8th Avenue.  All you need to hear are the Current Madison Square Garden Chants to know that Knicks fans have been […]

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