Tag: John Candy

Angry Ward Wednesday: Trading Places vs Planes, Trains and Automobiles. Who Ya Got?

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NEW YORK, NY – Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which means NO ONE will be reading this column today, which is just a tad fewer than usual. So, if you came here looking for sports… tough darts. I’m gonna instead talk about what I consider the two best movies set on or around Thanksgiving: Trading Places and Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. They’re […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Bill Murray vs. Tom Hanks – A Sports Showdown

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BRONX, NY – This is my second post this week! Wow! I feel so important, and so very, very alone. As I mentioned last week, summer sports is really just boiling down to baseball. You can focus on the Thursday night’s NBA draft if you like, but it’s most likely that your team–especially you, Knicks […]

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Cyber Monday Sports Deals! Coughlin, Colon, Harbaugh, Manziel, Rice All For Cheap

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DENVER, CO– Rocky Mountain Craig reporting this week, coming at you from the posh (and very white) Cherry Hills neighborhood where the women all look like Lululemon pants-and-riding boots wearing, tight pony-tailed clones of each other, and the men seem to be trying to jog off their paunches to keep up. Otherwise, seems like a […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Halloween Sports Horrors

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“New York City is still recovering from its biggest power outage since the Yankees got swept by Detroit in the ALCS.” ATLANTIS (aka: NEW YORK, NY) – Today is Halloween, and if you live in the Northeast you may still be experiencing Sandy nightmares, which are nothing like sandy dreams. Although by no means the […]

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There Was Also Baseball This Weekend

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Hollywood–My wife DVRed a baseball movie for the kids last night, Rookie of the Year, a movie released in Hollywood’s second golden era of baseball movies, 1993-94 (the first golden era has to be 1988-89, with Bull Durham, Eight Men Out, Field of Dreams, and Major League). No less than six baseball themed movies came […]

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GROTE'S GRIPES: STATE OF THE UNION

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Baseball’s Armageddon FLUSHING, NY – (3 minute applause) Good evening fellow Meet The Matts readers this is Jeff Wilpon and I’d like to welcome you to the State of the Union here at MTM (90 second applause). There are a lot of divisive issues we’d like to get to today. Some of you may agree […]

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THURMAN THOMAS: WHY WE STOLE HOCKEY FROM CANADA

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Thurman Thomas takes No-Huddle, Shotgun Shuffle Pass from Jim Kelly in Super Bowl loss to New York Football Giants WINNIPEG, ONTARIO – It seemed like just a fortnight ago that Ross Perot had many of us eyeing our Canadian neighbours (Canadian spelling) with a renewed suspicion. We became wary of ‘infidels’ like Doonesbury’s Gary Trudeau, […]

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WHADDYA HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF, OMAR?

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By Rex O’Rourke ALTAMONT, NY – I’ve been trying to look at the Mets with an unbiased eye. Are they underachievers, injury plagued, heartless, unlucky, or just plain bad? Let us address each and see what we come up with, shall we? Underachievers – I don’t think anyone can say they haven’t “mailed it in” […]

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