Tag: Ken Griffey Jr

Angry Ward: Hall of Fame, Hoops, and Horrendous Super Bowl Hype Week

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Ken Griffey Jr.? Three douchebags failed to vote for him. Tom Seaver? 5 a-holes saw it clear to leave him off. Hank Aaron? 9 obviously- racist f**kheads didn’t vote for him.

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Cano, Wentz, Carmelo and other Examples of Sports Addition by Subtraction

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BRONX, NY – In 2001 the Seattle Mariners turned Major League Baseball on its ear by winning 116 regular season games. They accomplished this feat without the benefit of Randy Johnson, Ken Griffey Jr., and Alex Rodriguez, three of the franchise’s cornerstone players, who had all talked their way out of town. Though they didn’t go […]

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Worst Sports Week of the Year is Almost Over: No More Maude

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NEW YORK, NY – We finally get back to baseball tonight after the All-Star break doldrums. It’s an awful week and I’m glad it’s behind us. It is always the Worst Sports Week of the Year. Monday night kicked off Worst Sports Week of the Year with the Home Run Derby on Monday night. An […]

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Weekend At Bernie’s: Brooklyn Dodgers, O’Malley Made Bernie Sanders

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BROOKLYN, NY – While researching material for yesterday’s piece, The Best Athlete of the Presidential Candidates, we came across the story of how the Brooklyn Dodgers and Walter O’Malley basically made Bernie Sanders into the man he is today… by tearing his heart out. WTF (What The Frog), right?! How did an old Jewish Vermont […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Hard Times? Try Pulling for My Teams!

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BRONX, NY – I was chatting with a co-worker the other day who happens to be a Cowboys fan. He was clearly deliriously happy about their latest win over the Giants and was going on and on about how long he’d been a Cowboys fan, claiming he went all the way back to the days […]

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A BASEBALL CAROL

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by Different Matt A man is heard talking on the phone behind a closed office door. The name on the door reads O. MINAYA The door opens and we see Omar Minaya with a pained look on his face as he listens to the screaming voice coming through the phone. The screaming stops. OMAR: Look, […]

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