Tag: Mel Kiper

Replacement Matt: NFL Draft Notes, Entertainment Value? Mets Fumble Ownership

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QUARANTENIA, BASEMENT – Welcome to another beautiful in day in our eternal lock-down. Last night the sports world offered up the first semblance of a return to normalcy in the much over-hyped event outside the ESPY’s – the first round of the NFL Draft. An “event” that I normally skip in favor of watching a […]

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Angry Ward: March Badness – The Mets are Doomed, So’s Your NCAA Bracket, and NFL Draft Talk is for Suckers

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BRONX, NY – It’s snowing like mad… at least that’s what I’m assuming, based on Tuesday night’s projections. Isn’t that f**king great? While I’ve long argued that February is the worst month of all, don’t sell March short. Both months are like god-awful sequels to all of the other great months. Think of them as The […]

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Replacement Rant: Sports Are Not Providing The Necessary Escape

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NEW YORK,  NY – In these times, wherever we turn we are assaulted with horrible news…  horrific Facebook posts… useless click-bate… where do we turn? We turn, of course, to sports to ease our minds!  We obsess over RBIs, ERAs and Shooting Percentages, instead of Polling Numbers and Dow Jones averages. But these days, those […]

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4 Players NOT to Build Your Team Around

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NEW YORK, NY – If you had to pick one player to build your team around, it would be pretty easy to come up with a name. But we’re not into doing things easily here in Mattville, so our question is for you to pick the 4 Players NOT to Build Your Team Around. NBA: […]

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Fantasy Rules For Fantasy Draft

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ST. LOUIS, MO – Every year around this time, the closet Mel Kipers, armchair QBs and upper deck offensive coordinators get together with their respective Cliff Clavins, Uncle Bucks and black sheep to have a Fantasy Draft.  I myself have my own tonight. Everyone has an angle and all are contrived or frogging ignorant – […]

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I'M TIRED AND I'M MAD AS HELL

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by Rex O’Rourke NEW YORK, NY – There are some people, expressions, and pop culture events that I’m tired of and I not going to take it anymore. WHY DOES DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME KICK IN ON A WEEKEND? Take an hour of rack time away from a weekday not the weekend. Weekends are short enough! […]

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ANGRY WARD WEDNESDAY: HE VENT THAT-A-WAY

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NEW YORK, NY – Let’s see, Short Matt’s back from Australia which means the texts and rambling voice mail messages will begin again in earnest; my landlords continue to be the biggest bunch of lying scumbags on the planet; and, while the Mets continue their agonizingly slow death, the Yankees look like world-beaters. Now seems […]

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A DRAFT IS A BEER

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New York, NY – I’ve had it with the NFL draft, or more precisely, the lead up to the draft. I understand it’s an important event and I’m aware that the NFL promotes the draft to keep year round interest in the game, but isn’t it just a bit overdone? Do we really need a […]

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