Tag: Minnesota Vikings

Angry Ward Wednesday: Black Baseball Players, Better Football Uniforms and Let’s All Hate the Islanders Again!

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NEW YORK, NY – With sports being played in the afternoon, people getting shot right and left, and sharks taking the beaches back and biting people in half, my long wait for a return to 1970s normalcy is over. Can the re-pornification of Times Square be far behind? Let’s hope so. And, since we’re rethinking and […]

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Angry Ward: More Mets Ownership Players Emerge

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BRONX, NY – Is it my turn already? F**k! (*deep breath*) Okay, I can do this. It’s been a tumultuous last 24 hours, and not just because the world is on fire and idiots are running everything and we’re all gonna die real soon. No, gentle reader, there’s an even greater disturbance in the universe… […]

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Patty Nice Gets Paid, Bruins Get Stick Shafted in NHL Playoffs

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SHOHOLA, PA – My apologies to the staff here at MTM for last week’s alcohol-induced absence. It’s somewhat of a good thing when your birthday is two days before the birth of America but there’s hell to pay when the holiday weekend is over. Speaking of over, I couldn’t get over the fattest sports contract […]

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Breaking Mets News: Bidding Opens Up. Cohen Back At Table. Jimmy Kimmel 30 for 30 on ’86 Mets

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COVIDIA, USA – Welcome to Friday folks. We’ve made it through another week without being besieged by Boogaloo Bois and Karens, congratulations! Anyway… As the return of actual sports seems just around the corner, today I bring you news on the mighty New York Metropolitans, the proud NL NYC Ballclub. Not only do the Metsies […]

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Grinding Ax: Quarantine Sports til 2021!!!

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MURPHY’S MOUTH, NJ – Time to Quarantine Sports! With all the conflicting stories, opinions and divisive behavior in the air , I am calling on all citizens to demand a blanket quarantine of professional sports until 2021.  Listening to multi-millionaires whine about how they are being treated and not being paid enough to play abbreviated […]

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How Sports Can Save the World… But Probably Won’t

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DANTE’S INFERNO, USA – Wow! A lot has been going on in the world lately, eh? COVID 19 seems like small potatoes compared to all the other stuff happening. Don’t ya think? Well, I’m here to follow up on my brothers-in-arms, Junoir Blaber and Buddy Diaz’s comments and defy Management (Short Matt said white guys […]

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What’s In A Nickname? Best or Worst Sports Nicknames

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BLOOMINGBURG, NY – Nicknames are a sign of belonging and studies have shown that made-up monikers help a young person’s self esteem. To the professional athlete, nicknames are often given to accentuate their specific skill or overall mastery of the game. There’s little argument in most of these names – like “The Sultan of Swat,” […]

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Replacement Matt: NFL Draft Notes, Entertainment Value? Mets Fumble Ownership

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QUARANTENIA, BASEMENT – Welcome to another beautiful in day in our eternal lock-down. Last night the sports world offered up the first semblance of a return to normalcy in the much over-hyped event outside the ESPY’s – the first round of the NFL Draft. An “event” that I normally skip in favor of watching a […]

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NFL Draft News: Where Will Tua Go and Do the Eagles Trade Up

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SPANISH HARLEM – The NFL Draft is tomorrow and at least for one day, some scheduled programming when it comes to what we expect from sports. It will be different in every sense of the word, with teams making their choices in odd places. I can’t speak for everybody but I’m sure there are a […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Pete LaCock, Jeff Wilpon, Gorman Thomas, Covid-19 – Are You Intrigued Yet?

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PALM BEACH, FL – What to say? I’m thinking about the fact that we are all sheltering in, at least the smart ones. I’m currently in a state with a Governor that was most likely voted in by a sh!t-ton of senior citizens and is still not taking this thing seriously. As Ben Whitney pointed […]

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