Tag: New Jersey Generals

Angry Ward Wednesday: Brady’s Jersey and Betsy DeVos Answers Your Sports Questions

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BRONX, NY – Back from Florida, where I barely survived four days of trying to kill myself with rum and gambling and mammoth hamburgers and more rum. On Tuesday, Betsy DeVos was confirmed by the Senate as this country’s new Secretary of Education as Mike Pence, still in his medically-induced coma, blinked twice to cast […]

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Cheesy Bruin’s Free NFL Picks and Melania Trump Week #10

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MARLBORO, NY– If Donald J. Trump can win the White House then I can certainly go 4-0 on my weekly NFL Picks segment here at Meet The Matts.  Feeling out of sorts last week showed as I lacked the usual Presidential-elect bravado on my way to a 1-3 week.  To make matters worse I selected […]

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Presidential Candidates As Sports Teams: Who They Would Be

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ZIT POP, KY – From this blemish of the smallest towns, to the schmaltzy cheese (not mine) of West Palm Beach, Presidential Candidates (or not so “Presidential” Candidates) are taking to soap boxes and podiums to expound upon their fitfulness/street creds , so that you will make him, her or it (Trump and Alf have […]

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