Tag: Papa John

Words Schnatter! Kaepernick Cooks Papa Johns, Peyton, JJ Watt and Jerry Jones.

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LOUISVILLE, KY – Bad pizza enthusiasts, Jerry Jones, Peyton Manning and J.J. Watt are flying their sh!tty pizza boxes at half-mast, as Papa John Schnatter is stepping down as CEO from the Arby’s of Pies – Papa John’s. It seems bad acting in cheesy commercials with The Fun Manning for an Emperor’s New Clothes version […]

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Broncos Bustin’ Madison Avenue Manning? Or Just Greedy SOB?

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FORT COLLINS, CO – As Peyton Manning began racing across the Levi Stadium grass as time expired, you’d think he’d be sprinting towards his wife, kids, parents or hell, even brother Eli. After all, he had just won his 2nd Super Bowl, in what most think was his last NFL game. Wanting to share the […]

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Greedy Peyton Manning and Omaha Aren’t What You Think!

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WATERLOO, IA – With the Iowa Caucus mercifully behind us, whose name could be better to invoke this morning than that of Gordon Gekko, er, uh..I mean Peyton Manning? Me and the crack “I-Team” at MeettheMatts.com uncovered what they believed was a private conversation. For our investigators’ entire budget of 3 dollars, Papa Johns founder and Tea-bagger […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Weekly World Sports News: Blake Griffin, Rocker, Belichick

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BRONX, NY – So much going on in the world of sports this week, but I find the internet and local newspapers have been a little bland in their coverage. We need some good old-fashioned sensationalism! We need some eye-popping headlines! I’ll tell you what we really need! We need the late, great tabloid, The Weekly World News. This […]

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Barry Bonds, Peyton Manning, Warriors’ Curry, Giants McAdoo: Headline Hilarity!

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FRANKFORT, KY – The utter hilarity offered by today’s top sports stories is hard to match. You can’t make this stuff up. From tankers to serial winners to the Giants’ latest flop. Just look at what’s going on! Eli Manning, Hair Club for Men Offensive Coordinator Ben McAdoo, and the New York Football Giants were […]

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