Tag: Red Sox

Angry Ward Wednesday: Derek, Zion, Freddie, and Super Bowl Ready

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BRONX, NY – I’m back from self-imposed exile and, to borrow from legendary sports enthusiast Barry Manilow, ready to take a chance again. There’s plenty to talk about today, and none of it involves a bunch of absolute losers in Virginia who like dressing up as G.I. Joes but would piss themselves silly if they ever […]

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Go To Blazes Carlos Beltrán, You Tommy Two Face SOB

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HELL – In this world, the Devil doesn’t wear Prada. He wears Mets orange & blue. And down here, the line to get into this very popular nightclub, Eternally Damned, is rife with the Amazins’ colors, largely for things these doomed denizens did after their failed Flushing purgatory. Case in point, Carlos Iván Beltrán – […]

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The Teams Affected By Houston Astros Cheating Scandal

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“So, when Boston beat Houston that year in the playoffs, did they decide not to cheat on each other?” -Buddy Diaz SPANISH HARLEM – Cam James had a great article yesterday that spoke about the penalties facing the Houston Astros regarding their cheating scandal… or lack thereof. Sure, manager A.J. Hinch was fired, along with […]

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The Baseball Cheaters: Ban. Them. All.

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DENVER, CO – Stiff. Astonishing. Harsh. Hard-line. Unprecedented. These are all adjectives used to describe the punishment received by the Houston Astros. All of them are inaccurate, though, particularly the most overused word in the sports world in the past week; unprecedented. Is it unprecedented that a baseball team was fined and had draft picks […]

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Sign Stealing: How Much Does It Matter?

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“Houston, we’ve had a problem here.” – John (“Jack”) Swigert NEW YORK, NY – The above quote is the actual representation of the oft-used historic phrase used in the Apollo 13 mission for NASA. Jim Lovell, when asked to repeat what Swigert had just said by Ground Control, said “Uh, Houston, we’ve had a problem.” […]

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Thank God It’s Angry Ward Friday: Mookie and Tebow and Football, OH MY!

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BRONX, NY – I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, except for a select few, the work ethic around here is abysmal. I got a text over two hours ago from Management saying they were “piecing something together” because one of our intrepid staff drank a little too much liquid comedy last night and […]

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Yankees Kill Baseball: Why Gerrit Cole is the Worst Signing Ever

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NEW YORK, NY – It’s frigid here in NYC. Even the mercury is cold. And cold temps can make for a cold heart, especially when it comes to All-Things-Fuzzy for the Yankees and their blind legion of gluttonous, greedy fans frothing at the mouth for an immediate Free Agent Fix. No matter what the cost […]

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Replacement Matt: Cespedes Contract Reduced, Ellsbury, Phil Jackson To Follow?

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WEST BROOKLYN, NJ – Happy Holidays and all that to you my friends. Welcome to the most stressful time of the year. Scramble to get your work done, scramble to get your cards out, scramble to write your column. It is clearly the way of the future. Take heed you sinners. Recently the New York […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Chargers, MLB, and Tanking Teams Think Too Much

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BRONX, NY – Before I get going on like my billionth post for this site, I want to direct anyone who didn’t happen to read Ben Whitney’s very funny piece yesterday to do that right now. It was truly stellar. For everyone else who has to write this week, don’t worry, I’m here to lower […]

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MLB Wild Card Hunt: Manager Moves, Joe Girardi, Wally Backman, Mickey Callaway, Custer and Revere?

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CHELSEA, NYC – Working on the set of a popular major network cop show last night as a Special Effects guy making smoke and wetting down W27th Street, made keeping up with the MLB Wild Card hunt a tad difficult. And as a charter chugger of the Jonestown-like Kool-Aid us weak-willed Mets fans gulp at […]

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