Tag: Rob Gronkowski
Big Ben Tuesday: Things to do Instead of Watching the Worst Case Super Bowl
ANYWHERE BUT MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Man, I should have found a reason to boycott this NFL season. Jacksonville had Michael Myers on his back, but instead of driving the knife into his chest, they ran away and let him get up to kill again. But Mike’s killing spree was nothing compared to the Bloodbath […]
NFL Hits, Shohei Ohtani And Save Water, Drink Beer!
EL BARRIO, EL FALLS – I got more notice this week than I did last week. However, I have been back to doing some serious work for our sister site, rugbywrap.com. By the way, isn’t it sexist to say sister site and not sibling site? Anyway lets get to the another wonderful piece by me, using […]
Ebs’ Hot Takes: Rob Gronkowski, Buffalo Sabres, Aaron Boone, New York Yankees, Alabama
WEST PITTSTON, PA – Folks, there’s no intro or lede this week. I’m jumping right in to some hawt taeks. I’m wasting no time. Enjoy. Rob Gronkowski deserves a multiple-game suspension. There is no place for what Rob Gronkowski did to Tre’Davious White during the fourth quarter on Sunday. Sure, White got away with pass […]
Angry Ward Wednesday: Gridiron Soylent Green, NFL Week 1 Takeaways for Stupid NFL Fans
NEW YORK, NY – Tomorrow marks the start of another NFL season. Finally, the year-round hype can end and, instead, we can all fall all over each other gobbling up endless recaps, injury reports, power rankings, and all manner of useless analysis. It’s f**king mind-numbing, but we are too far gone to turn away. With that […]
Big Ben Tuesday: Cruz Cut, Knicks Stun, Rangers Lacking, Who Stole Tom Brady’s Jersey?
STAMFORD, CT: In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’ll of course be focusing on the big news that Derek Jeter is going to be a father. Or not… I could write about the Knicks shocking victory over the Spurs, and how it might affect the possibility of a Melo trade or maybe the Rangers’ need of a steady blue-liner to […]
Big Ben Tuesday: Alternative Super Bowl Facts, Reluctant Patriots Praise, Belichick vs Brady, Most Awkward Trophy Presentation?
WASHINGTON , DC: Our man Ebs felt the pressing need to break down the Buffalo Sabres yesterday, so it falls to me to take the first look at the Super Bowl. Among other things, we’ll discuss Bill Belichick, an honorable man who would rather lose than compromise the integrity of the game. That may seem false at […]
NFL Stuff: Giants Sputter, Big 4, Possible Interlopers, Unwatchable Jets, Tom Brady Record
WESTCHESTER, NY – It was a tough weekend for our heroes, the NY Giants. The defense did its part, with Olivier Vernon and Eli Apple playing particularly well, but the offense sputtered again. This offense has more starts and stops than a porn set. Er, I assume. While this year’s top draft pick is trending up, […]
5 NFL Related Business Ideas: Consoling, Gun Storage, Social Media Management, Penalty Prevention, Anger Redirection
ALBERTA, CANADA – It’s Tuesday, time for your Weekly Dose of Whitney! Last week I discussed some of the reasons for the NFL’s declining ratings, this week I’m thinking about making money off them. That’s right, we’re going to make money off the NFL! This one is for you entrepreneurs out there: – 5 Opportunities for NFL-Related […]
NFL: Ebs’ Way Too Early Conference Championships Bold Predictions
Clifton Park, NY – What a weekend of football! After a lackluster Wild Card Weekend, the divisional round certainly did not disappoint. Each and every game this weekend was exciting until the end and full of storylines. With each of the top seeds victorious, the NFL’s top four teams are left standing, fighting for the right to represent […]
Angry Ward Wednesday: Brady’s Broken, Blake Griffin Exiled and Larry Nassar Should Burn
BRONX, NY – Last Wednesday I took a little heat in the old comments section for not hitting my recommended daily allowance of vitriol and/or writing about anything anyone remotely cared about. Good news, your complaints have been heard. Better news! I’m just gonna keep on writing about whatever the hell occurs to me between making […]
Continue Reading »