Tag: Roger Goodell

Grinding Ax Walter Hynes: Bye Bye Zeke Elliot and Kim Jong-un! Dennis Rodman Rescue?

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MANASQUAN, NJ –  While The New York Yankees do their best imitation of their neighbors from Queens, I believe it’s time to look forward, don’t you?  NFL football has managed, once again, to “trump” even the Real Trump, by suspending the leagues best running back, Ezekiel Elliott of the Dallas Cowboys.  Let’s face it, which news story is more compelling?  Kim Jong-un and his […]

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NFL HoF, Alex Rodriguez, Yankees Not Sucking, Roger Goodell, Jerry Jones, Red Zone

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MARLBORO, NY – It’s the beginning of August, so that means one thing and one thing only… sports sucks! Little League World Series games can’t get here fast enough for myself and the portion of New York baseball fans who root for the pathetic bunch from Queens. As a matter of fact, the summer has […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Cruz Cut, Knicks Stun, Rangers Lacking, Who Stole Tom Brady’s Jersey?

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STAMFORD, CT: In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’ll of course be focusing on the big news that Derek Jeter is going to be a father. Or not… I could write about the Knicks shocking victory over the Spurs, and how it might affect the possibility of a Melo trade or maybe the Rangers’ need of a steady blue-liner to […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Breaking Down Falcons’ Flop, Supermodel Celebration for the Ages

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Houston, TX: Clearly there is no justice in the world. What a depressing end to a riveting Super Bowl. Watching the Falcons do everything right until they did everything wrong was painful, and Hell’s favorite QB and Coach added another ring to their impressive resumés. The Falcons’ hammer missed the coffin’s last nail and the Pats clawed their […]

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Ebs’ Hot Takes: Super Bowl LI Reaction. Dewey Defeats Truman

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CLIFTON PARK, NY – Of course. Should we even be surprised? I’m certainly not… Once the New England Patriots cut the deficit to 16 points in the fourth quarter I knew the Atlanta Falcons were toast. I’ve seen it too many times before with the Buffalo Bills. Maybe after watching this fans outside of the […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Alternative Super Bowl Facts, Reluctant Patriots Praise, Belichick vs Brady, Most Awkward Trophy Presentation?

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WASHINGTON , DC: Our man Ebs felt the pressing need to break down the Buffalo Sabres yesterday, so it falls to me to take the first look at the Super Bowl. Among other things, we’ll discuss Bill Belichick, an honorable man who would rather lose than compromise the integrity of the game. That may seem false at […]

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Bernie Sanders, Millennials Killing NFL, Rangers Rampage

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COLTS NECK, NJ – Egalitarianism will destroy sports as we know it.  Write it down and mark my words. The NFL is already feeling the effects of the Millennials and their distain for personal achievement! Bernie Sanders, The Pied Piper of  Individualism & Intolerance, should band up his following of Starbucks-loving, Chipotle-eating little brats and hostilely take over the office […]

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NFL Ratings Nosedive: I Abused My Pregnant Wife, Extend My Contract!

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WHITE PLAINS, NY – It’s getting pretty hard to watch NFL football in good conscience these days. My list of grievances is growing. The NFL has treated its players poorly, including denying for years that the sport caused brain injuries. They have turned a blind eye or been slow to react to issues like domestic […]

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Steelers Sinner Le’Veon Bell, Roger Goodell, Marijuana, NFL Camps

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PITTSBURGH, PA – As these summer days get significantly longer with death-defying heat, it means that our gridiron heroes and hopefuls will be taking to NFL Camps in and around the nation’s “heat dome” within the coming days. The National Football Leauge is a fluid news source, as there is truly no off-season and today […]

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No More Brady Talk! Goodell v Conrad Dobler, Isles and Mets Own NYC

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JAMAICA ESTATES, NY – I fear that the airwaves and water cooler conversations over the next 5 months will be engorged with nothing but Deflategate; the Roger Goodell versus Tom Brady nonsense. Most of the time I agree that anything is better than a sharp stick in the eye. Not in this case. Go ahead […]

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