Tag: Sammy Sosa

2018 Top Five MLB Questions Answered: Wright, Stanton, Bumgarner, Harper, Longoria

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NEW YORK, NY – The literal and figurative Hot Stoves are working overtime this week, especially in the northeast’s  bomb cyclone areas. With Spring Training but 3 fortnights away, MLB GMs are calling texting (see this) each other with hypothetical deals and promising propositions (Sandy Alderson aside, of course), that have us fans on the […]

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Christmas Sports Movies Redeux

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POUGHKEEPSIE, NY – Earlier this week Angry Ward tickled the funny bone by ringing in the holiday season with yuletide song sports requests. Today, I’ll take a stab at a Christmas Sports Movies Redeux, rather than submit you all to my football picks that have been nothing short of dreadful the past two weeks. Check […]

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Blaber’s Blabberings: NCAA Organized Crime, A-Rod, Putin and Gaylimpics

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El Barrio, Bronx, NY – Guess who got the eagerly anticipated MTM Writer’s Booty Call. You know, all the fun supermarket-aisle-clean up without the joyous longterm commitment of a gulag. Speaking of Russians, cleanliness and forced labor, yours truly has a lot to blabber about today because the NCAA Crime Family is still trying to […]

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NFL Playoffs Recap & Things To Do While Not Watching !@#$ Lance Armstrong

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“… shame on that hoary billionaire Winfrey for foisting this piece of human excrement on us.” LE FRENCH ALPS – We’ll get to this weekend’s scintillating NFL playoff action, believe you me.  But first I’d like to begin with a list of things I’d rather do than watch Lance Armstrong on the Ophrah Winfrey Show […]

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MLB: Use Melky Cabrera Fiasco To Restore Aaron & Maris

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“Out of all the records in the major sports, the home run stat takes the cake.” SAN FRANCISCO, CA – It started with Marion Jones being stripped of her Olympic medals; it continued with Lance Armstrong’s seven Tour de France titles being taken back by the International Cycling Union and continues now with Major League […]

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COOKIE's CORNER: SAVING FACE

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DR. MENGELE’S LAB, PARTS UNKNOWN – This week’s press has been all aflutter with uber-media whore and absolute ZERO, Heidi Montag (her name doesn’t deserve boldface). She was on one of those Hills, Four Tree Town, Dawson’s Crock of Crap WB shows that I don’t pay any attention to. Anyway, seems this 23-year-old thought she […]

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MCGWIRE OUT OF CLOSET; PALOOKAVILLE READY

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“If I didn’t get immunity, I could face prosecution. And here I am sitting there and wanting to tell my story. There were two scenarios. But the immunity didn’t come through. So, I sat there and said, ‘I didn’t want to talk about the past.” -Mark McGwire PALOOKAVILLE, USA – One week we’re preaching forgiveness […]

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IT'S A MANNYFUL LIFE

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by West Coast Craig For the previous episode of The Manny, please click here. FADE IN: TORRE HOUSE ROOFTOP. NIGHT. Manny is way up at the top of the three story house, fiddling with a big plastic Santa and reindeer. He stops to look out over the neighborhood, and glances down at the pool in […]

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ANGRY WARD WEDNESDAY: YES, VIRGINIA, THERE IS AN OMAR MINAYA

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NEW YORK, NY – With apologies to Francis Pharcellus Church and The New York Sun, we’re gonna continue with the Christmas theme this week. Dear Angry Ward: I am 8 years old. Some of my little friends say there is no Omar Minaya. Papa says, “If you see it on Meet the Matts, then it’s […]

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