Tag: Will Hernandez

Big Ben Whitney: Grim Days for NY Football; Giants Should’ve Drafted Nelson, Samchize Darnold?

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TURD CITY, USA – We’re through NFL Week 10 and the cream is rising to the top. Or in the case of the NY teams, the fecal matter is sinking to the bottom. Look out Giants, the Jets elbowed their way back into the race for the City’s foulest pile of dung, with a massive […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Burt Reynolds, Kirk Cousins, and the Butterfly Effect

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Cahulawassee River, Georgia: In chaos theory, butterfly effect refers to one small change in one state of a deterministic nonlinear systems resulting in large differences in a later state. Got it? Like a butterfly flapping its wings and altering the path of a future tornado. In the mid-1970s, Burt Reynolds scoffed at an offer to play […]

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Big Ben Whitney: Five Things to Watch in Giants Training Camp

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East Rutherford, NJ: In this week’s edition of We’re Totall Screwed, Bigfoot Erotica! When Genghis Ghan and the Mongols conquered China, they wouldn’t let their people stay in China too long. The Khans thought the civilized comforts of China would make the Mongols soft. Well, we got soft. Anyway, I’ll still trying to process this round of […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Knee-Jerking the NFL Draft

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Stamford, CT: Hello May. The month where Mets’ fans realize their team isn’t that good. This weekend we’ll have insufferable hipsters saying “May the 4th be with you” and falling down drunk on Cinco de Mayo. But I’m still thinking about the most intriguing NFL draft in years, and I have a few knee-jerk reactions. Knee-jerks are different […]

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Rain Man Rants: NFL Draft Pick Review For Jets, Giants And Bills

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EL BARRIO, EL FALLS – The thing with living in Western New York is that there is no way of getting away from talking about the Bills. Especially with the NFL Draft, all people can do is talk about who the Bills will pick. Today, I’m only addressing the first round (this was penned before the other […]

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Ebs’ Hot Takes: NFL Draft Edition

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WEST PITTSTON, PA – I know a lot of you probably want me to chime in on the Cleveland Cavaliers’ controversial win and Gleyber Torres‘ promotion. I’ll give you this… Never count out LeBron James and Torres is going to be fine. The New York Yankees second baseman is going to be a star for […]

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