Tag: Yoenis Cespedes

Big Ben: Die Hard Proves NHL Superior to MLB

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STAMFORD, CT – As superfan Laila kissed the Cup during the Blues’ championship celebration, a tear rolled down my face. This was the first tear I’ve shed since I was six, when my dog Dozer was hit by a car. It was a heartwarming moment. (Laila, not Dozer.) As we move past eventful NBA and […]

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Biggest Sports Lie of the Year, David Wright’s Return, Pro Rugby in NYC

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NEW YORK, NY – As Replacement Matt has his hands full working with Tall Matt and Short Matt (me) on a commercial, he asked one of us to replace him today. And since Tall Matt is like Chuck from Happy Days, it fell on my shoulders to talk about the Biggest Sports Lie of the […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: No LeBron, No Tiger, No Problem – Sports Addition By Subtraction

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BRONX, NY – Monday night the Golden State Warriors finished off a sweep of the Portland Trailblazers without the help of Kevin Durant, who is arguably one of the three best players in the game, if not THE best. Anyway, leading up to the sweep, and in its aftermath, sports dopes like Chis Broussard and Stephen […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: The Ranch Accident and Bleak Outlook for the Mets

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Flushing, Toilet: I’m back from a hockey weekend in Nashville where my mighty beer league team managed one tie in three games. After a brutal travel day with delays and broken airplane air conditioners, I rushed home to catch a disappointing Game of Thrones finale. I should have stayed there. But here I am on […]

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Sports Headlines You Need To Know! Vikings, Cespedes, Costner, Ionescu

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NEW YORK, NY –  Okay, so you need some cocktail party fodder for your Spring Is Here parties? Here are the Sports Headlines You Need To Know. WHAT THE F___!: Some guy I’ve never heard of just signed a 4-year, $64,000,000.00 contract extension with Angry Ward’s Minnesota Vikings. Apparently, Adam Thielen is two-time Pro Bowl […]

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NL Beast? Bryce Harper, Beefed-Up Phils, Young Braves, Maybe Mets

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WASHINGTON, DC – The irony is that the headline doesn’t represent the team this post originates from, the Washington Nationals… and they are pretty good on paper, too. Do we suddenly have Major League Baseball’s best division in the National League East?! Are we looking at the NL Beast, what with Bryce Harper & his […]

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Angry Ward: Baseball’s Newest Mind-Numbing Metrics

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BRONX, NY – Guess what, everybody? Baseball season started this morning! Yep, as stupid as this always sounds, America’s Pastime started today, a full week ahead of everyone else, with the Oakland A’s taking on the Seattle Mariners in Japan. “Buy me some sushi and green tea ice cream, I don’t care if I’m watching […]

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2019 Pro Sports Predictions: Eli, Mayfield, Machado, Mets, Favre, LeBron

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INDIANA, PA – In this quaint, cozy home of Jimmy Stewart, you get small-town American at its very best. With each passing pickup truck, smile on a stranger’s face and stroll past Mom -n- Pop stores,  the metamorphosis from coal-mining town to something else is on. And there’s the rub. Trying to figure out what […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: The Mets are Going For It and Will Fail Miserably

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BRONX, NY – I really don’t know what to write for this site anymore. If I write about football, I know my brother (who reads but never comments) will check out, because he’s no big football fan. I can’t write about hockey, because we have people on this site that know a whole lot more about […]

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Mets Hire Jerry Maguire, Beer-Chugging Lineman Jon Gott to Giants?!

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NEW YORK, NY – From beer-chugging lineman to too-cliched-for-Central Casting GMs, this is one helluva time for sports punditry! Let’s pop the trunk, lift the hood and kick the tires on this thing, shall we? Let’s look at the Mets hiring Jerry Maguire -aka Brodie Van Wagenenenen, and the Ottawa Redblacks‘ Jon Gott. Show Me […]

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