Tag: Yoenis Cespedes

Big Ben Tuesday: Despite Key Injuries, “Next Man Up” Yankees Bludgeon the Red Sox

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Bronx, NY: With New York Yankees’ smack down of the BoSox over the weekend, you might expect a little gloating from me. Well, you’ve come to the right place. The dozens of Yankees dropping like flies to injury has tempered my excitement some, but it won’t stop the gloat. And like flies, no matter how […]

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Can Second Fiddle Mets Make MLB Playoffs, After Mickey Callaway and Jason Vargas Exlpode?

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BLOOMINGBURG, NY – It has to be difficult to share the same city with the New York Yankees, especially when it seems as though the Evil Empire does everything correctly, while you drown in a sea of mediocrity or abject failure year after agonizing year. This monumental pressure seems to be getting to the field […]

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Big Ben: Die Hard Proves NHL Superior to MLB

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STAMFORD, CT – As superfan Laila kissed the Cup during the Blues’ championship celebration, a tear rolled down my face. This was the first tear I’ve shed since I was six, when my dog Dozer was hit by a car. It was a heartwarming moment. (Laila, not Dozer.) As we move past eventful NBA and […]

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Biggest Sports Lie of the Year, David Wright’s Return, Pro Rugby in NYC

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NEW YORK, NY – As Replacement Matt has his hands full working with Tall Matt and Short Matt (me) on a commercial, he asked one of us to replace him today. And since Tall Matt is like Chuck from Happy Days, it fell on my shoulders to talk about the Biggest Sports Lie of the […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: No LeBron, No Tiger, No Problem – Sports Addition By Subtraction

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BRONX, NY – Monday night the Golden State Warriors finished off a sweep of the Portland Trailblazers without the help of Kevin Durant, who is arguably one of the three best players in the game, if not THE best. Anyway, leading up to the sweep, and in its aftermath, sports dopes like Chis Broussard and Stephen […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: The Ranch Accident and Bleak Outlook for the Mets

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Flushing, Toilet: I’m back from a hockey weekend in Nashville where my mighty beer league team managed one tie in three games. After a brutal travel day with delays and broken airplane air conditioners, I rushed home to catch a disappointing Game of Thrones finale. I should have stayed there. But here I am on […]

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Sports Headlines You Need To Know! Vikings, Cespedes, Costner, Ionescu

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NEW YORK, NY –  Okay, so you need some cocktail party fodder for your Spring Is Here parties? Here are the Sports Headlines You Need To Know. WHAT THE F___!: Some guy I’ve never heard of just signed a 4-year, $64,000,000.00 contract extension with Angry Ward’s Minnesota Vikings. Apparently, Adam Thielen is two-time Pro Bowl […]

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NL Beast? Bryce Harper, Beefed-Up Phils, Young Braves, Maybe Mets

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WASHINGTON, DC – The irony is that the headline doesn’t represent the team this post originates from, the Washington Nationals… and they are pretty good on paper, too. Do we suddenly have Major League Baseball’s best division in the National League East?! Are we looking at the NL Beast, what with Bryce Harper & his […]

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Angry Ward: Baseball’s Newest Mind-Numbing Metrics

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BRONX, NY – Guess what, everybody? Baseball season started this morning! Yep, as stupid as this always sounds, America’s Pastime started today, a full week ahead of everyone else, with the Oakland A’s taking on the Seattle Mariners in Japan. “Buy me some sushi and green tea ice cream, I don’t care if I’m watching […]

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2019 Pro Sports Predictions: Eli, Mayfield, Machado, Mets, Favre, LeBron

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INDIANA, PA – In this quaint, cozy home of Jimmy Stewart, you get small-town American at its very best. With each passing pickup truck, smile on a stranger’s face and stroll past Mom -n- Pop stores,  the metamorphosis from coal-mining town to something else is on. And there’s the rub. Trying to figure out what […]

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