RUGBY, BUSH, BASEBALL & QUEBEC'S WAR DECLARATION

MONTREAL, QUEBEC, CANADA – Phew. What a week! The past seven days made Planes, Trains & Automobiles look like an afternoon nap. We had aviation’s greatest event since Kitty Hawk, a President bid adieu, a near-fatal Rugby experience and a venture into the potential hotbed of the next Western World civil war. Sure, that’s all some very serious stuff but did it have to happen while we were launching our new site, guaranteeing two peeps a Super Bowl Package and looking forward to a much-needed hockey vacay?! Heck no! Yet alas, all of that spit hit the fan and stuck to our wall cette semaine and now, instead of relaxing in France North Of Plattsburgh (Montreal) we are biting our nails to the quick, worrying about our safety, our fates and our countrymen back home. Why? Is it the frigid sub-zero temperatures that will highlight our outdoor ice hockey game here in Quebec’s flagship city? No. Is it that fact that il y a depuis longtemps que nous parlons francais? Non! “Then what is it!?” you demand, wearying this desultory Q & A. Well, quite simply, it’s the simple fact that Quebec is still looking to secede from Canada! We just had this conversation on our way back to the Days Inn on Rene-Levesque and he was adamant about Quebec’s Independence – as adamant as a full-fledged Moroccan middle-aged male could be after moving here 2 years ago. When we asked him why, he lobbed some sternly worded [yet politely guarded] barbs (can one lob a barb?!) – some audible, some not – at our seemingly-invisible, soon-to-be-retired President and another unpopular force of nature – taxes! After he calmed down, put his 2nd LaBatt’s back on the dashboard and turned his blinker off, we asked him what will happen if Quebec does finally, once and for all, vote to secede?! Will tanks from Vancouver block the highways? Will the Senators from Ottawa not recognize such a vote? Will a leaf other than Toronto’s famous maple be emblazoned on le flag? Will Rod Gilbert and Jean Ratelle take arms against Vic Hadfield? Will Warren Moon and Doug Flutie rush to fight for those that made them!? Will Kevin Lowe cut off all Quebec oil from his post in Edmonton? That is when he coolly stopped the car and with a  Clint Eastwood glare, stared straight through us before answerin,. “We’ll just have to see, now won’t we? … That will be three toonies and a loonie.” And that, Ladies and Germs, is why we’re scared. That and the fact that we both could swear we saw the Flames of Calgary in the reflection of his beer. Rex O Rourke tomorrow.

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