BRING ME THE HEAD OF JOHN STERLING

By Rex O’Rourke

BRONX, NY – Alright, it’s gotten out of hand. John Sterling is now a pop culture icon. His “Robby Cano, Don’t ya Know”, “It’s a Johnny Rocket”, “It’s a Thrilla from Godzilla” and various other self-serving home run calls are now regular fare on Sportscenter. Rather than feature the audio from the TV side, they, being the corporate shills that they are, run the ESPN Radio feed of Sterling making a complete fool of himself. The “Me” generation is now the “Gag Me” generation. I can’t take it anymore. How did this guy even get the job? He regularly blows easy calls, has no insight, and really doesn’t know much about baseball. He’s a pompous windbag in love with the sound of his own voice. He has to be the only human in the English speaking world that uses two syllables to utter the word “the” as in “The-aaa pitch”. Actually, he’s now referred to as “The Voice of the Yankees” which has so many broadcasters rolling over in their graves they’re too numerous to mention. The next time I hear him say “Out … no Safe” or “It is High, it is far, it is… ah … ah… caught!”, I’m going to steer my car into oncoming traffic. Doesn’t he know that we can’t see the play and if he waits a split second longer to get it right will never know the difference? It’s really embarrassing that an organization as steeped in tradition as the New York Yankees can’t find someone better to put behind the microphone. They blew 1.5 billion on the new yard. How about 5 grand for a headhunter to find a professional to put in the booth? Hell, Hank and Hal have that much in their couch cushions. Now I’m not advocating violence here, but this man has to be stopped! A grass-roots movement, a petition, a march on the Stadium, ANYTHING! What does he have, pictures of Hank Steinbrenner with a prostitute; Hal smoking crack? The truly sad aspect of all of this is that he probably thinks he’s good at what he does. He probably has no idea how bad he is and that he may be the worst play-by-play man in the history of broadcasting. Doesn’t he have to answer to anyone? Isn’t there an annual review? Or does everyone just pat him on the back and tell him he’s doing a great job? This is an organization that until Joe Torre came along, changed managers like socks, but we can’t seem to get rid of this guy. He’s like the Pope; he’s got the job for life! I’m going to bed before I have a heart attack.

Until next week,
Rex