Grote’s Gripes: Hurricanes Of Sports

Kingman & Foster: Hurricanes of Sports?

NEW YORK, NY – I hope this column finds all of our readers alive and well.  Hopefully everyone here in the Northeast still has a house to go back to.  Hurricane Sandy didn’t seem to have much rain for us here in the city but 25 miles south and below is another story.  This will be a short and quick one today but I thought I’d breakdown sports teams with hurricane associated nicknames.

Miami University Hurricanes

University of Tulsa Golden Hu…

And that’s when Grote2DMax’s power went out. 8:41 post meridiem EST. It was a sudden a power outage as the one the befell the 1983 NY Mets. Compounding the problem, our beleaguered MTM Creatives didn’t get his text until until 11:41 pm, after an extremely long day. With that, here’s what we felt Grote2DMax would have come up with. We’re invoking G2DM as he would invoke Larry King.

University of Miami Hurricanes: An honest swirl of criminals that can sure play football! And the coeds are blowing all over the place… in the wind.

University of Tulsa Golden Hurricane: A singular source of excitement in the most boring town in the the country’s most boring section is the Golden Shower that a Golden Hurricane soaks the locals with.

Rubin “Hurricane” Carter: Could have been a champ had it not been for a Dick Tiger and getting himself wrongly jailed (allegedly) for a triple homicide for 20 years. “You had your chance and you blew it… You blew it!

Carolina Hurricanes: The won a Cup. In Raleigh! The only other time you hear of Raleigh is when Aunt Bee or Barney headed up there for a season or two. Or was that Goober?

Iowa State Cyclones: Saying that a “cyclone” is not a “hurricane” is like like saying Sage Rosenfels isn’t/wasn’t a quarterback.

Brooklyn Cyclones: “Hey, Iowa… Yeah, we got Cyclones. You gotta problem wit dat?Different Matt needs Coney Island (which could be Atlantis in an hour) to cleared by a hurricane just so he can walk around out there without being mobbed after this:

Orange and red! Cool.

And last but not least – it’s now 1:43 AM – the worst of the Hurricanes of Sports. We say “worst” because they are nearly as lame as the preempting of our favorite shows just so we can watch some low-man-on-totem-weather-pole-sucker try to get tsunami’d while interviewing some dopey locals near a seawall someplace. The Houston Hurricane! They took the worst sport and gave it the worst logo and they play in one of the worst cities on the planet. Disagree? Just ask an Astros fan.

That’s it for now… We’ve got to get some sandbags filled for tomorrow’s really troublesome storm… Angry Ward. (Do not click his name).

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