Angry Ward Wednesday: Come Out, Come Out Whoever You Are. Jason Collins Inspires Me

NEW YORK, NY – Happy International Workers’ Day to all of the hard-working folks that visit this site on an way-t00-regular basis. While our short bald leader is probably out somewhere flouncing around a May Pole, I thought it would probably be a good time to address the Jason Collins Story. jason-collins-glaadIn case you were off somewhere living in an eco-pod under the Earth’s crust, basketball player Jason Collins came out as being gay in an exclusive to Sports Illustrated. He also came out as being black, which was less of a surprise.

Anyway, this announcement was met with lots of adjectives like “groundbreaking,” “game-changing,” and “life-altering,” but is it really? Don’t get me wrong, I think what Mr. Collins did was terrific and took guts but, looking at it a little more closely, will his coming out as a homosexual really change the landscape of sports and how it relates to society in general? He’s 34 and a free agent. Would he have done the same it he were say, 26, under a long-term contract, and a star player with multiple endorsements? My guess is no, and that’s too bad. So, even though this took courage on his part I don’t think it will alter the landscape of sports all that much. Because of his age and free agent status, this just seems too close to guys and girls who make this type of thing public after retiring. If it were LeBron or Peyton Manning or Prince Fielder, it would have been the shot heard ’round the world. This is more of a minor pop, though a step in the right direction. The world would be a much better place if people didn’t live in fear of showing their true selves, not just in terms of sexuality but in any facet of life. Sports seems like a good place to start. Lets get the ball rolling…

I Love the NBA. OK, maybe I don’t love the NBA but, after 20-years of absolute misery, my Golden State Warriors are in the playoffs, in position to eliminate the West’s #3 seed Denver, and I am really, really enjoying it. Now that I no longer have Cinemax, I don’t stay up late to watch anything anymore, but I’ve been watching these games and they’ve been great. I really thought I was done with the NBA, but apparently there are still some feelings there. Wow, feels great to get that off my chest. Hope others follow my lead, for instance…

Rex Ryan Elf

Out of Commish-un. He clearly can’t do this for himself but somebody in Bud Selig’s family needs to announce that he’s senile. All you need to know is this: Miami plays at Minnesota in April and Minnesota visits Miami in June. No one in their “right” mind would let that happen.

Sexy Rexy. Jets head coach Rex Ryan really needs to come out as the full-blown sexual degenerate that he most likely is. I think the whole thing with his wife’s feet was just the tip of the iceberg for ol’ Rex. Let’s hope that by, say, October, Rex is patrolling the sideline in some leather bondage gear or a dress. When it comes to the Jets, there can never be enough comic relief. Speaking of Gang Green

TeleTimmy. The Jets finally released Tim Tebow. One day someone will explain exactly went down with Tebow in New York, but for now, if you’re Tebow, you’ve got to wonder about your future in the NFL. I mean, the Jets have nothing but awful quarterbacks and they clearly thought Tebow was the worst of the lot. If he doesn’t try his luck in Canada, the best possible move for Timmy would be to become a televangelist. He came out of the Christ closet the day he was born and TV loves to cover him. He’d be a natural.

That’s all for today. Come back tomorrow where either Cam James will be coming out of a bar or Lori Levine will be losing the last of her inhibitions and, hopefully, wardrobe.

 

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About Angry Ward 755 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.