BRONX, NY – Hey, how you do like my new byline this week? I mean, I am kinda ALWAYS here on Wednesday. It’s been my midweek digital gulag for like six years now. Anyway, I am not saying I am going to stick with this, but I do plan on trying other things out. Like maybe Hungry Ward Wednesday (been dying to dish on food) or Horny Ward Wednesday (it is HUMP day) or Alternate Ward Wednesday, which is the dream–like the sweet deal that West Coast Craig got. But, for now, I’m done with Angry Ward Wednesday. It was never my choice. Management hung it on my like a rotting fish when this site started and it’s time to shed it. Besides, the world is currently an angry enough place without me adding to it. Terrorists taking lives right and left, religious conservatives hating on gays and anyone else who isn’t down with their “agenda,” and, of course, the politicians. Donald Trump’s making a seven course meal out of anger, and he’s found plenty of hungry people to eat it all up. If he wants to make America hate again, he’ll do it without me. Yessir, when Captain Combover starts embracing anger, it is OUT, baby. Let’s keep it positive today, and moving forward.
Matt Harvey’s Got a Going Problem. This is not a big deal at all. The Dark Knight just needs to drain the Bat crank a little more often. On the scale of problems in the world of sports or the world in general, this ranks right up there with “I could really stand to read a bit more.” The Mets’ ace just needs to drink more water. There’s plenty of that, especially in the gasoline-rainbow puddle-lakes all over Flushing. If he starts going too much, the Mets can do what one person suggested, and convert him to a reliever.
RGIII Goes to Cleveland. Fantastic!, I say. Washington can be a tough place to play and they had already moved on with that Cousins fella. Cleveland is lovely and the expectations from their fans can’t be all that high after the Johnny Manziel Era. To make is easier on Mr. Griffin, the Browns cut loose most of their offensive playmakers. No, seriously, I think this will help him. You can’t kill a guy throwing to receivers and backs that you’ve never heard of. What this means for guys like Ryan Fitzpatrick and Colin Kaepernick, I have no idea. Maybe Fitz will retire and become a backup professor at Harvard and Kaepernick will also take some time off to complete his tattoo mosaic. As long as they’re happy.
Opening Day! Holy Mackerel, the Mets’ home opener will be here before you know it. I asked my brother if he had secured tickets and he looked at me like I just asked him if he wanted to vacation in North Korea. I take that as a “no.” Funny, because we always used to go to Opening Day together. What, the Mets make one crummy World Series and they’re now a hotter ticket than Hamilton? Okay, cool by me, but it still would be nice to go. I’m hoping that something turns up. Who knows, maybe Management can score some ducats. Keeping positive thoughts, because that’s how I roll now.
Thanks for tuning in. See ya next week.
Warmest personal regards,