Old Farts Brees and Brady with Dope Derring-Do Antics for Saints, Patriots

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NEW ORLEANS, LA – Two words for Drew Brees and Tom Brady (though that latter’s is a bit more about team than man): WOW. Okay, maybe that was just one word but it’s succinctly sufficient. For something NFL-related to get this Old Fart excited these days – or these last 5-20 years (who keeps track?), it has to be something significant. Was it a car-chase in a white Bronco? No. How about a linebacker being mixed-up in a nightclub murder? Nope. A running back from the same team punching his girlfriend in the face? No ma’am. A receiver having a 14th kid with a 13th woman? Nyet. No, nothing along the now-routine brow-raisers.

This time it was simply about football [Cue Pigs Flying]… and two Old Farts.

Old Farts Drew_Brees and Tom_Brady, Derring-Do Antics, Saints, Patriots, Muppets

You smell that one, Tommy? Come on, get into it!

Old Fart #1: This guy had a major blow to his career early on; his throwing shoulder was basically destroyed during his final game with the Chargers. It was a contract year. Philip Rivers was on the bench. Pro-Bowl status or not, San Diego wasn’t feeling it for Drew Christopher Brees, especially after Dr. James Andrews put eleven anchors in the labrum and two more in the rotator cuff. Oddly enough, I know exactly what that is like. My anchors are a light shade of electric blue. Fast-forward to yesterday. Brees and the Saints are clinging to a 3-point lead against Tall Matt’s and Grote2DMax’s St. Louis Rams of Los Angeles & Los Angeles, after coughing up a sizable lead. Nursing the lead and watching the clock, Brees sees man coverage, damns the torpedoes and goes downfield. You do the math. Touchdown. Good Night, Irene. Hasta la vista, Baby. You don’t have to go home, you just can’t stay here. But that in your vape and smoke it, Goff. Old Fart #1 is in the house!

Drew Brees and Philip Rivers, Chargers, Old_Farts, Tom_Brady, Meet_The_Matts

I can’t wait to wipe that pink pigeon poop off your Saintly face, Drew.

Old Fart #2: With 5X the Super Bowl rings of the aforementioned Aging [Gas] Passer (see what I did there?), Thomas Edward Patrick Brady, Jr. has a decided edge. But Brady has the best coach in NFL history and an owner that trusts the process. Not bad for a guy that was on the bench behind Brian Griese in college. Bob Griese, Meet_The_MattsAnd last night, Aaron Rodgers, who is right up there as an all-time great with Brees and Brady, was in town. And if you take away some mindbogglingly botched plays by nitwit teammates at critical times, his Green Bay Packers could easily have a top record. But there was Brady, licking his toothpaste-commercial chops, eagerly awaiting at home. And guess what the result was? A win for the Patriots, replete with trick plays and Ol’ Tom even subjecting himself to throwing blocks. Oh, and King of Old Farts William Stephen Belichick even showed a glimpse of being a human, with a chuckle re his QB since 2001 not getting 3 yards rushing – to reach 1000 on for his career. Even joked about him being a Clydesdale!

There’s a lesson to be learned here, Ladies and Germs: Old Farts don’t stink. Boom. #DropTheMic

Please feel free to post below and come back tomorrow for a guy that floats in flatulence, Big Ben Whitney!

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