BLOOMINGBURG, NY – It’s day whatever of the Covid-19 quarantine and I’ve been to two outstanding parties the past two nights to the point where I ALMOST forgot my turn in the lineup to talk about the past – because there is no present – and a questionable future if it’s sports related. As I lay in bed and type with my love next to me (after Short Matt’s wake-up call) I’ve got the brainchild of today’s column: Favorite Sports Movie Scenes in the Bedroom.
Crash Davis “gets carnal” with Annie Savoy in Bull Durham. It doesn’t get steamier than this as the perpetually horny minor league baseball groupie and cougar played by Susan Sarandon meets her match when an aging player “comes” to town in order to tame Nuke LaLoosh but corrals the very loose Savoy. Bed scenes, kitchen table screws, and that bathtub scene is pretty hot.
Reg Dunlop and Suzanne Hanrahan. Okay, so this one may not be more than a picture of t!ts in the pantheon of sports flicks but it has to get mentioned and leads to one of the movie’s funnier moments. President’s goalie Hanrahan’s wife has a rack of very pert breasts on display while revealing to Reg (who’s always digging for an angle) in the boudoir that she’s a lesbian. Dunlop causes the opposing goalie to go postal by leaving the net to chase down the Chiefs captain, which leads to further mayhem on the ice.
Goon. You’ll just have to forgive me on this one because I’m not sure of the specifics but there’s a scene where one of Xavier LaFlamme’s ladies is riding him pretty good when Doug “The Thug” Glatt is first introduced to the prima dona he will be protecting on ice. The innocence in Glatt and the over the top man whore that is LaFlamme makes for an interesting dynamic in the scene.
I remember the days of renting VHS tapes at Blockbuster and the local mom and pop video establishments that had the porn lacking in the big chain rentals. There was a title if not the hysterical video cover that caught my eye in the adult section one day. It was a basketball themed skin flick called Up And In. I’m hoping the editor can find the cover because it’s pretty damn funny even if I didn’t rent it.
I’m sure I’m less than 500 words but at least it’s content. Tell me what movies I missed where they set the bed on fire in the comments section below. And come back tomorrow for another late post from Captain Quarantine, Junoir Blaber.