NEW YORK, NY – After watching the Mets phumble away another win, despite a 9th inning rally and losing Jacob deGrom two hours prior to first pitch, yours humbly exhaled, cursed the Wilpons and focused on the task at hand: to provide you with some kind of entertaining reprieve in the sports realm. Thankfully, Aaron Judge went on the DL IL, so that countered some of my Mengst (Mets Angst). Thus, the topics for today: Vlade Divac, Agent Orange[men] & Andrew McCutcheon.
Vlade Divac
How many NBA Championship centers have won championships as GMs? Without looking, the guess is zero. With the stunning news that Divac got dumped by the Sacramento Kings, that number still stands. Vlade, who is impossible not to like, fouled out after the team failed to make the playoffs during his 5-year reign. But the big guy shouldn’t fret. He’ll likely be offered a King’s ransom (see what I did there?) by Jerky Jim Dolan to run the Knicks and drive Tom T batty. SIDE NOTE: Sacramento’s owner with has one of NBA’s most interesting names, Vivek Ranadivé.
Agent Orange[men]
Okay, on the surface the Syracuse Orangemen canceling their third practice in 8 days over player concerns about sh*tty #COVID-19 testing isn’t Earth-shattering news. Indeed, it’s refreshing to see the rebelling against the likes of Head Coach Dino “Junoir” Babers & his staff based on common sense. However, if you’re going fishing with your brother and his daughter (your niece) graduated [virtually] from ‘Cuse and just got back from a long-delayed week with her housemates, your Covid-sense is tingling and this becomes a BIG story. Now it’s not just me and my bro in a boat. It’s him, me and everyone my niece partied with for a week. I don’t even dig fishing. Pour moi, tearing an unsuspecting fish’s face apart is tantamount to blindsiding pedestrians with a sucker punch to the orbital bone. It’s not an enjoyable activity. I just want to hang with mon frere and pound adult beverages. Thanks to Coach Babers, the Shadow of Covid will hover over our Boston Whaler. You suck, Syracuse.
Andrew McCutcheon
Here’s another guy it’s hard not to like – other than the version that played for the Stanks. He is affable, willing to fraternize with fans and from all accounts… a great teammate. He sucks now, however, yet joins anyone/everyone that’s ever slumped in looking good against the Mets. He came up against the suddenly unreliable Seth Lugo last night in 9th. McCutcheon stepped into the box batting .174. He quickly fell behind in the count on fastballs before Met Reliever COVID Protocol mandated that Quarterrican (Lugo’s nickname) toss a hanging curve when ahead of a hitter that couldn’t hit water if he fell out of a boat. That set up Bryce Hair-pers game-winner, as Zamboni Ramos couldn’t get down a tag that arrive 3 hours before the runner. But at least Judge is out.
On that note, I’m out. Gone fishin’… Please drop your line below and come back tomorrow the Master Baiter of Mattville, Cheesy Bruin. He will NOT mention the Isles.
