Angry Ward Wednesday: Brooklyn Nets and Idiot Yankees Fans – Taking Out the Sports Trash

"Did someone say Golden Corral?!" -Jerry Jones, architect of the "New" Yankee Stadium/House That Greed Built

NEW YORK, NY – I promised that I was going to spend today’s column ripping on the Yankees and their fans, and I will, but first I want to spend a sentence or five on the Brooklyn Nets. As everyone knows by now, the Nets just got finished getting SWEPT out of the FIRST ROUND of the NBA playoffs by the Boston Celtics. I have zero affinity for the Celtics, but seeing them beat down Kevin Durant, Kyrie Irving and their supporting cast of nameless, faceless James Bond movie henchmen brought me great joy. This was a team built on secret deals, mountains of cash, and enough “cat that ate the canary” smirks to make you think they were a shoo-in to win the NBA title. So it was nothing short of glorious to watch them eat a Golden Corral-sized portion of sh!t this past week, particularly Kyrie Irving.

Don’t worry, I have no intention of opening the whole vaccination argument when it comes to Irving, but I will say this: He’s no hero. He’s no villain either, but I am tired of certain people painting guys like Irving and Cole Beasley and that “immunized” idiot in Green Bay as patriots or something. They aren’t. Irving, and many others like him, just decided to do what was best for himself. That’s it, plain and simple. He wasn’t thinking about his teammates or anyone else really, he was just looking out for number one. That’s his right, just like it’s my right to think that he’s a horse’s ass and a crappy teammate. Again, not judging. But I am slightly delighted when “me first” guys like Irving and Rodgers get their postseasons stamped out like stale cigarettes and are left to wonder why their teams didn’t gel. You’d think guys like these would have lots of mirrors in their houses. Anyway, let’s get to the Yankees and their horsesh!t fans.

Not All Yankees Fans are Terrible. I just wanted to get that out of the way, so I could get on with trashing the tough-guy trash-talkers and trash-throwers at the positively abominable “new” Yankee Stadium. What went down against Cleveland this past weekend was Philadelphia-fan-level horrible. The Yankees and their fans should be absolutely ashamed and embarrassed, but I’m not seeing much of that at all. I guess all those championships can’t buy class or empathy, but can still apparently afford beer aplenty. Cheering a potential injury, mouthing off when separated from your verbal target by an 8-foot wall, and then celebrating a win by throwing sh!t at the losing team is beneath what you would expect to see in a baseball game played at a maximum security prison. You would expect an immediate reaction from the Yankees in identifying the culprits and banning them for life but, so far, nothing. We have a sometimes Sunday columnist here who occasionally waxes poetic about the beloved Yankees Bleacher Creatures, so where were they? Shouldn’t they be policing their own? If not, were they active participants? If you’re not part of the solution you’re part of the problem… if not THE problem. Even thin-lipped platitude-spewing skipper Aaron Boone got in on the wishy-washy response by saying “Love the intensity, but can’t be throwing stuff on the field.” ??? Seriously? “Love the intensity?” You’re qualifying this? Launch this loser onto the Grand Concourse and leave him there among the plastic Poland Spring bottles filled with Livery Cab Driver urine. As for fixing the rest, it’s hard to hold anyone accountable when no one really knows who’s running the team. Oh, one more thing.

Yankees Games No Longer on WPIX. The New York Yankees are now showing games not broadcast on YES on Amazon Prime, rather than with their longtime local TV partner WPIX Channel 11. This is nothing more than another money-grab for a team that really doesn’t need to be grabbing at money. How much is enough? Anyway, no more old school free games on local TV. Bummer. As my brother pointed out, maybe this will give WPIX more opportunities to show extra episodes of Magilla Gorilla or (as I reminded him) Sunday afternoon schlock movies like Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark. It’s the end of an era… but at least we won’t have to listen to Michael Kay.

That’s it for today. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who’s a huge Peter Potamus fan.

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About Angry Ward 656 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.