NIAGARA FALLS, NY – Happy Monday, No filler today, just the hard-hitting analysis you didn’t ask for but are getting anyway. Let’s dive into the three things occupying the minds of New York sports fans over 40: the New York Mets’ surprising competence, the New York Knicks’ exhausting drama, and Derek Carr’s sudden exit from the NFL (who, let’s be honest, most of us forgot was still playing until this week). Let’s break it all down.
NY Mets
The Amazins did that thing again where they play baseball and—against all odds—don’t immediately collapse like a folding chair at a family BBQ. They took two out of three from the Diamondbacks (a solid team) and then did the same to the Cubs (who are leading the NL Central, because baseball this year makes no sense).
Pete Alonso continues to hit baseballs very far, which is what he’s paid to do, and thankfully, he’s currently like the Pete of old and not the Pete of last season. Elsewhere in the line-up the young kids Baty, Acuna and the other young guns are doing their part. Nothing special but not being worthless in the lineup either.
The best part? The Mets are still in first place in the NL East. It’s May, so we’re all waiting for the inevitable mid-summer implosion, but for now, let’s enjoy this bizarre stretch where the Mets are good and no one has to fire anyone yet.
NY Knicks
Being a Knicks fan is like dating someone who only texts you at 2 AM after ghosting you for a week. Just when you’re ready to give up, they reel you back in with just enough hope to keep you miserable.
If you had told Knicks fans before the series that they’d be up 2-1 on the Celtics after three games, they’d have taken it in a heartbeat. But of course, nothing is ever simple. The Knicks decided to make it interesting by:
1. Falling behind by 20+ points in two separate games.
2. Miraculously coming back to win both.
3. Then getting absolutely demolished in Game 3 like they forgot basketball was happening.
The Celtics’ three-point shooting has been a nightmare, and the Knicks’ defense occasionally looks like they’re playing in flip-flops. The good news? They’ve shown they can claw back from the dead. The bad news? Maybe stop digging the grave in the first place?
Now, Game 4 is a must-win because if this series goes back to Boston tied 2-2, all that hard-fought road effort will mean nothing. I predicted six games, and I stand by it—but if the Knicks steal one more, we might be in for a full seven-game anxiety attack.
Derek Carr Retirement
In a move that shocked absolutely no one who hasn’t thought about Derek Carr since 2023, the Saints QB has retired due to a shoulder injury. This leaves New Orleans in a “delightful” quarterback crisis, because their current options are:
– Tyler Shough (a 27 year old rookie who did 7 years in college like Van Wilder but with concerns about being a bit brittle).
– Jake Haener (who may or may not be an actual person).
– Spencer Rattler (a second year player with “potential,” which is code for “probably not the answer”).
The Saints now have some exciting choices:
1. Trade for a veteran – Maybe Joe Flacco (who is somehow still employed) or convince Aaron Rodgers to stop doing ayahuasca long enough to throw a football or even Mr. Military Medium Kirk Cousins.
2. Tank for Arch Manning – The dream scenario: have a terrible season, get the #1 pick, and bring in the next Manning savior. (Note: This requires the Saints to be intentionally bad, which they’ve never managed before.)
3. Wait for preseason cuts – Because nothing says “Super Bowl aspirations” like signing a guy who got cut by the Panthers or some other wretched franchise.
Whatever they do, it’s going to be a mess, and as football fans, we’re here for it.
Comment Below and come back tomorrow for more sport takes you could have died happy never knowing, with Ben Whitney.
