by Junior Blaber
NEW YORK, NY – February is the WORST month of the year for sports, especially New York sports, and it makes me grouchy. Here’s my breakdown on the difference between Rocktober and The Short Month in the 4 majors and some of the niche sports:
NATTIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE
OCTOBER: You’re heading into week 4 or 5 of the season and there is a chance your team can still make the playoffs. You’re giddy. You’re delusional. You hate all the Tony Romo talk.
FEBRUARY: Time to prep for the draft because in all likelihood your season ended weeks ago. My Jets gave me a much longer season that I could have imagined but I still feel that Rex came up short. A little bit. He did. A little bit. Time Warp Tony will tell you – the Jets don’t get that far much.
MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL
OCTOBER: Playoffs are going on and my Mets have written yet another chapter in the Astoria Greek Tragedy, 1,000 Ways To Break A Met Fan’s Heart. Cookie, Rex O’Rourke, West Coast Craig and Yankee Joe interpret this work in a different way – as a comedy of epic proportions. They like the Stanks.
FEBRUARY: It is like 3 weeks ’til pitchers and catchers report and my Mets have done absolutely nothing aside from swimming with sharks in the Bay of Nothing. I’m also reminded that the Yankees are reigning champs and that the Mark McGwire’s of the world continue to tarnish our pastime.
NATIONAL BASEKEBALL ASSOCIATION:
OCTOBER: The season is in it’s early stages and the Knicks have not hit 10 losses, so there is hope of finishing in the playoff-bound 8…
FEBRUARY: It is official – the season is over for the Knicks and they are playing it out for pride. HA!! You have the lame all-star game and you are still waiting for playoffs and the games to count.
NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE
OCTOBER: See above, just replace the Knickerbockers with Blue Shirts and think Dave Maloney instead of Clyde Frazier.
FEBRUARY: See above, except the Rangers make playoffs – but then fail to score more than 4 goals in 6 games and are ousted without a whimper and much disappointment. Oh, and their Captain Courageous is the biggest bust on Broadway since Kenny “Sky” Walker.
Chris Drury wouldn’t know a goal-scoring streak if it punched him in the face.
OTHER SPORTS:
Soccer – Futbol actually wins here – not that any of you care. In fact, you probably don’t know if soccer is played in February or not – and are happy about that.
OCTOBER: Season just kicked off in Europe, the MLS is finishing but the Red Bulls suck, so NOBODY – and I mean NOBODY – cares.
FEBRUARY: The European season is in the business end, The African Cup of Nations is wrapping up every two years and the MLS is not a worry for another bunch of months
SNOW SPORTS:
OCTOBER: still to warm so no one gives a damn
FEBRUARY: You got the winter X-Games and the Winter Olympics… Humph, I guess Feb is better here too…
The one thing that saves February from sucking and helps keep me happy till summer is:
The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue!!!
Yes, there is much more scandalous stuff on the net these days, but i get the issue to remind me of a simple time in my life. Like when I was 14 and this was close as I was gonna get to the real thing.
Rex O’Rourke tomorrow… And the The Matts have never been more accurate than they were ABOUT THIS.
