NEW YORK, NY – This week the press has been RIPE with some really juicy, knock-down, drag out celeb fun. Here’s my best shot at rounding it up:
Camacho – Not No Surprise: Let me start by saying I feel badly for Macho Camacho getting shot in the head. That’s gotta hurt and be a pretty suckie way to die. However, ever notice how many boxers end up retiring, make awful decisions financially, get into drugs and die in a really terrible way? You can add wrestlers to that mix… and a handful of football players.
I could say something about how many of these guys are plucked from the tough neighborhoods where they had to scrap to survive. But after surviving the grip of drugs and gangs, they only to fall back full circle to it. Or, I could point to how having your brain battered again and again as a means of income will eventually reap terrible consequence. Instead of saying all that, though, I’ll say this: no one liked Muhammed Ali – with all the hate, racial slurs and venom he spewed – when he was an able-bodied champ. Now that he’s suffering a terrible disease… different story. I know… mixed bag. Go punch it in the comment area kids.
Berry and The Battering Rams: Apologies to fans of infamous crack-smoking, 
D.C. Mayor Marion Barry or Grote2DMax; this has nothing to do with the man or the football team. This has to do with what was my favorite story this week – until Thursday morning, when all that changed. Ex -David Justice punching bag, Halle Berry, had herself QUITE a Thanksgiving. Berry’s ex-beau and baby Daddy, French model Gabriel Aubry got into a fight, errrr…. became the human punching bag of Berry’s current fiance, Olivier Martinez, who is also French. What’s up with the Francophilia, Halle? The entire week has been ripe with speculation of who started, who was the aggressor, who said what, etc. Now the apparent take is that the fight was “mutual combat“ and that no charges will be filed. While I don’t care WHO started it, there are two things I know:
ONE: I’m GLAD Halle Berry finally didn’t catch any punches, though I am sure she was wincing for memories of her marriage to Dave Justice.
TWO: If you take a look at Gabriel Aubry’s face, the concept there was any “mutual combat” going on is LAUGHABLE.
Team Lindsay. I am now its captain. I. LOVE. LINDSAY. LOHAN. As I came up with the idea for this post, it centered around the Berry Brawl and I thought, “I don’t have enough material here even with Camacho and rehashing how I love revisiting the Tawny Kitaen Kicks Chuck Finley’s Ass story.” I felt kind of cheap doing it. But like an angel… HERE COMES LINDSAY to save me! I LOVE this GIRL!!! She’s got enough money to smack up Porsches left and right without a care, she’s twenty-something and looks older than me, she’s got a GREAT rack which she tends to display in court as if to say “F*ck you [not David] Justice! You ain’t BLIND. Look at THESE!” AND… she decks other chicks. (GIRL-FIGHT!)
In the wee-hours of Thursday AM, LiLo got arrested at an NYC nightclub for getting into an altercation with… another woman. Apparently the two had exchanged words all evening and both had returned to their seats, but then LiLo thought better of it, walked over to the other woman and summarily decked her in the face. LiLo is still on probation for stealing jewelry and is also in hot water in LA for the car smack-ups and failing drug tests while on probation. Who is better than this girl – from an entertaining train-wreck perspective? No one. Team Lindsay. Captain Cookie at your service. And I’ve got a great left hook.
And with that… I’m starting to work the body of my weekend. Come back tomorrow for Dr. Diz.
