FLAGSTAFF, AZ– Filling in today for Short Matt who was in Switzerland yesterday for a blood cleansing, a la Keith Richards, as he desperately tries to hang onto what’s left of his youth in Cooperstown today. In any event, I find myself pulling double duty this week. (Am I the only one who doesn’t take vacations around here?) That being said, the last two posts here this week, from Grote and Cookie, have been amazing. If you haven’t read them, see that you do. Anyway, in light of the Mets’ Bad News Bears performance last night, today’s post will instead spotlight the best reader comments this week. So, without further ado, from the home office in Flagstaff we give you…
MEET THE MATTS TOP 10 COMMENTS OF THE WEEK
10. “Rex, you’re the damn pater familius.”
–West Coast Craig, on Rex O’Rourke’s Father’s Day column
9. “I don’t know how someone gets a rotten watermelon.. but I am guessing the rain has something to do with it.”–Cookie, venting on rotten fruit and weather
8. “Lesbian. There, I’ve said it again.”
–Randy Levine, getting his gay pride on
7. “Yankee Joe tried to show four Met fans how to turn on a light switch until they told him it was really not a light switch but instead it was a thermostat.” –JgClancy, responding to YJ’s Mets Fans light switch joke
6. “I spent a weekend at Neverland when I was 12. I remember going on the merry-go-round, drinking a Pepsi and the rest is a blur.” –The Temple’s fond memories of his time with the King of Pop
5. “I am not a fan of returning stuff… least of all food. But why should I give the supermarket $4 for nothing?!?! I can’t remember the last time they gave me money.” –Cookie, refusing to go quietly on the “watermelon incident”
4. “The toughest woman in sports is the the one that plays CF for the Mutts. Oh, shes on the DL… So is her girlfriend Josea Reyes but shes going to blosoxruins09s team.”
–Yankee Joe, telling it like it is
3. “Jesus Secular Humanist… Jolly good fun!” –Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson, having fun for once
2. “No comedy ever had a funnier tag line than ‘They transplanted a white bigot’s head on a soul brother’s body!”
–Philview, on “The Thing with Two Heads“
1. “Somebody threw rocks at Greg Brady? What was his crime?”
–Time Warp Tony, on Greg Brady once being stoned
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days.
A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.
