Angry Ward

Angry Ward Wednesday: Stinky Sports Movies to Help You Forget Our Stinkier World

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BRONX (IS BURNING), NY – You know, I kept saying that this summer in NYC could shape up very much like 1977, and we’ve already got the looting piece covered on our bingo cards. All we need now is a blackout (I think this is a slam dunk), the Yankees making a run (if baseball […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Staring Down Summer Through the Eyes of My Brothers

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BRONX, NY – So, it’s not even half over yet, and already I have no problem crowning 2020 as the runaway winner of “Worst Year of My Life, So Far.” What an absolute sh!tshow. Even Rod Serling would be like, “C’mon guys, all of these things at once? There’s enough material here for at least […]

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Sports Mash Unit: Teams That Won Without Injured Stars

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COVID CENTRAL, NYC – As we continue to navigate this hazy, blurred maze of The Covid Zone, our staff has taken turns on the DL IL in unprecedented fashion… and not because of the Coronavirus. Buddy Diaz rightfully needed a spot starter when he lost a friend. Our resident tough guy, Cheesy Bruin, missed a […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Meet the Matts Spinoff Websites I’m Gonna Make When I Grow Up

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PLANET EARTH – By now, we’ve all had plenty of time to take a long look in the mirror, take stock, and think about our lives and choices. I know I have. I haven’t come to many concrete conclusions other than I need to bring more underwear, socks, and t-shirts on my next so-called “vacation.” […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Mets Pest, Football Feeds, and Other Things I’ll Be Missing

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STILL IN FLORIDA – So much news to report. Let’s get to it! For those of you who don’t know, Publix is a huge Supermarket chain mostly in Florida, but in the South in general. It’s clean, the employees are ridiculously personable, and you can drive a Semi down the frozen food aisle while maintaining […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Zona Wieners, Sour Giants, and Other Sports Food Outlets

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WHATEVER, USA – It’s exciting to hear that parts of the country are opening up again, giving people in places like Apalachicola and Driftwood Beach the chance to enjoy golf and all-you-can-eat popcorn shrimp and getting each other sick as f**k. C’mon baby, let the good times roll. It’s time for your moment on the BIG […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Mets Mishigas, Gronk Goes Gulfing, and Nothing About the NFL Draft

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PALM BEACH, FL – So, the NFL Draft is tomorrow night, and I’ve kinda been laying off writing about it. For one, we’ve got other guys here like Ben Whitney, Buddy Diaz, and Junoir Blaber, who have more to say on the subject than I do. Also, no one wants to hear a Viking fan’s take […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Essential WWE, Suzyn Waldman Warbles, and a Gender Reveal No One Asked For

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FLORIDA, (JUST FLORIDA) – All bets are off now. Seriously, this post could be a 500,000-word epic or a fortune cookie, what does anyone care? Though I would bet on the latter if I were you. Let’s get to the truly important stuff first. Florida’s jackass Governor thinks WWE is an essential business. Just soak […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: The Permanent Road Trip. Plus, NHL North Dakota, MLB Arizona

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PALM BEACH, FL – So many people, where you are and around the world, are cooped up inside these days lamenting the never-ending homestand they are currently experiencing. In sports, it’s great to be at home, playing on your home field, court, or ice,  eating home-cooked meals, sleeping in your own bed, getting to see […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Pete LaCock, Jeff Wilpon, Gorman Thomas, Covid-19 – Are You Intrigued Yet?

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PALM BEACH, FL – What to say? I’m thinking about the fact that we are all sheltering in, at least the smart ones. I’m currently in a state with a Governor that was most likely voted in by a sh!t-ton of senior citizens and is still not taking this thing seriously. As Ben Whitney pointed […]

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