ANGRY WARD WEDNESDAY: BRETT IT BE

August 19, 2009 Angry Ward Angry Ward 0

MANKATO, MINNESOTA—Thank God the Minnesota Vikings signed George Carlin’s corpse to a two-year contract yesterday. I was really missing that guy. I must have received two dozen e-mails and/or text messages (by the way, I hate text messages as much as “Fletch” hated Tommy Lasorda) yesterday all poking fun at Favre being a Viking. Funny thing is, I expected it all along and said so to anyone who would listen. But really, who cares? I would have been far more upset about this around a million years ago had, say, Roger Staubach become the Vikings quarterback. I certainly was more upset when Cheryl Ladd took over for Farrah Fawcett on “Charlie’s Angels” and was devastated when Lydia Cornell started wearing turtleneck sweaters rather than low-cut t-shirts as Ted Knight’s daughter on the short-lived “Too Close for Comfort.” You see where I’m going with this? Cuz I sure don’t. Oh yeah, Favre is a Viking, that’s right.

Anyway, I’m a Minnesota Vikings fan and will remain so even with clueless ownership, an overmatched coach, and aging veteran leadership (such as it is). Sound familiar? It’s not that I’m rooting for laundry, as so many can argue, my Dad was from Minnesota so I really think I have more of a geographic attachment. Eh, whatever. What else is there to talk about?

Ollie Perez won last night and walked only one batter. Clearly the Mets crack training staff finally put him on Ritalin. Either that or someone told him it was the All-Star game and he was selected to pitch in the Home Run Derby. That should be Perez’s pitching mantra for the remainder of his career: “try to let them hit the ball.” He just may win 20 with that approach.

But, we still have this season to finish. And in keeping with that whole completion thing, I’ll be at Thursday night’s game vs. the Braves with big brother Chris. If anyone on this ghost ship known as MeettheMatts is planning on going to that game and wants to meet up out on the Dyspepsia Porch (as I am now calling it), feel free to chime in here and we’ll hopefully throw back a couple of brews and have an intellectual review on such things as Clancy’s cholesterol levels and whether or not Omar Minaya should trade the crafty Kenny Stabler-like southpaw Billy Wagner to the Vikes for Brett Favre and his slightly torn rotator cuff.

Stay tuned for tomorrow’s post by… oh, wait, they just went on the DL.

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About Angry Ward 771 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.