THE BRONX, N.Y. â€“ Nobody likes a rain-out; not the players, the fans, the networks, or anyone relying on the game as the subject of a written article. Within my bubbling cauldron of ideas, my petri dish of material, thereâ€™s always something to rant about. Today we have a tutorial for the sports obsessed:
- Rexâ€™s Guide To Staying In A News Blackout
In the DVR/TIVO era, occasionally life runs into overtime and keeps us from our appointed rounds as fanatics, face painters, tailgaters, and foam finger wearers. Thanks to our trusty recording devices, we can now attend Little Jimmyâ€™s soccer game, drop by Grandmaâ€™s birthday brunch, or tend to a long ignored household chore, free in the knowledge that technology has â€œgot our back.â€ The problem lies within the Catch 22 nature of our modern world. The very inventions that make our lives easier can also derail our ability to remain blissfully unaware of the sports story unfolding without our knowledge.
Here are a few tips to staying in a news blackout (Failure increases exponentially with each minute so try and get to the DVR/TIVO as quickly as possible):
There. With these helpful hints you should be able to get to the TV secure in the knowledge that you know nothing of the events that just unfolded. Zip through the endless pregame and commercials and you should be â€œcaught upâ€ in no time. Then and only then, you can turn on your phone, fire up your answering machine, and allow human contact. After all, you don’t want anyone thinking youâ€™re N-V-T-S nuts!
As for the picks, I stand a 14-4, and have some lead pipe locks. I have a feeling The Patriots (-14.5) are really going to run it up on The Buccaneers in front of a rowdy British crowd. Iâ€™m going to ride the wave with The Saints (-6) over THE DOLPHINS. I love THE TEXANS (-3) over The 49ers.
Until next week,