Hollywood Upstairs Massage Parlor – Sorry to draw you in with my lurid innuendo, but a lot of sports stuff came to fruition in the last couple of days, and in sports that usually means somebody goes home happy.
Happy: The Cardinals and the Rangers. This may not be the most sexy of World Series, but each team certainly seems to be peaking at the right time to hopefully make for an exciting bunch of games. Hard to imagine the Cards even making it close, but they did just dispatch the two NL favorites in impressive fashion. As for the Rangers, after Ron Washington is there anything to like about this team?
Unhappy: The ending to Saturday’s Bernard Hopkins fight. The 46-year old Hopkins has been extending his strange career through a bag of tricks and a lack of shame for years, but it came back to haunt him when his opponent, Chad Dawson, literally shrugged the leaning Hopkins off his back, sending the old man to the mat where he promptly hurt his shoulder. This was in the second round, meaning an expensive night of boxing ended, shall we say, prematurely. Not a good ending for the fight, and though there’s no doubt Hopkins will fight again, it’s hard not to see this as yet another step in the Unhappy Ending to boxing as a sport.
Happy: You Giant fans reading this, after a much needed bounce-back win over the game Buffalo Bills.
Unhappy: Detroit Lion head coach Jim Schwartz, when 49ers coach and classic jokester Jim Harbaugh wore a joy buzzer for the post-game handshake.
Happy? With the World Series exclusively on Fox, it’s the end to this year’s TBS coverage. Watching TBS these playoffs made you think two things: 1) Is that Pitchtrax graphic watching the same game I am? 2) How the hell does Dennis Eckersley get away with that look for forty straight years? That layered, blow-dried hair and mustache combination, it has to forever be known simply as The Eck. Guys who try to pull it off are usually working on their cars, or they’re Yanni. My wife looked up and wondered
“What era does that guy’s hair come from?”
I happened to have a stack of my old baseball cards sitting next to my computer (losing whatever value they once had) and coincidentally this one was on top.
“That explains it. When you find a look that works, stick with it.“she said.
My buddy Gabe and I were texting about it during one of those early rain delays, and he guessed that “Eck looks like he might be into ‘the lifestyle.’” If you look his broadcasting record up you’ll find there are certain clues to this end: He once said a pitcher “looks a little gay with his cheese” – and after all, who doesn’t? Another time he referred to Justin Masterson as “Justin Masturbation.”
And just like that, I’ve taken this Happy Ending theme to its foregone conclusion. Thank you very much.
Grote2DMax will be bringing us a happy beginning tomorrow.
