“Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank needs to turn his attention away from the NFL draft and pay more attention to his Home Depot bathrooms.”
UPSTATE, NY – I’m in a bit of a foul mood lately. On top of all the little women in my life acting like they’ve got Pixie PMS, rising early on a Saturday for an 8:30 A.M. softball game without the benefit of that much-needed second cup of coffee just doesn’t sit well. After the Little Cheese Wedge had instructional baseball, I headed over to Home Depot for a few items. As things continued to go downhill, I suffered a crap attack with vinyl shutters in hand and let me say this: Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank needs to turn his attention away from the NFL draft and pay more attention to his Home Depot bathrooms. Don’t get me wrong, any toilet is better than sharting one’s pants but that bathroom experience was like dropping a deuce in a five-gallon bucket.
After doing chores, for some reason I decided to watch a little NBA Playoff action as the first two minutes of the Devils-Rangers game was embarrassing; abundantly clear that the Devils started their off-season a few nights ago. The Nets (Jerry Stackhouse is still playing?) were on fire in the 4th Quarter only to tighten up and blow a 14-point lead with under three minutes remaining as Chicago forced OT and Brooklyn choked on a Brontosaurus-sized bone. An absolutely insane game it was. Just as amusing as the collapse and Joakim Noah’s Pebbles Flintstone hairdo, the new NBA fashion trend of bald heads and big bushy beards had me thinking of the very underrated John Candy film “Who’s Harry Crumb?” Judge for yourselves…
Staying with the John Candy theme, I tuned in to the Mets game long enough to see Uncle (John) Buck hit his usual dinger and bore witness to yet another variation of a uniform as the Mets sported a hat I’d never seen before. Does anybody honor tradition any more? Say what you will about my Bruins and Cowboys but a least the trademark “B” and “Star” never change.
Speaking of the Bruins, I’m somewhat positive they’ll manage to f*ck themselves over and wind up drawing the red hot Broadway Blues in the first round of the NHL Playoffs. They should just drop the last two games and lock up the #4 seed to avoid the Rangers and save the city of Boston the shame of being bounced by NY teams in two sports as the Knicks look like victors in their series versus the Celtics.
Oh yeah, the Cowboys… Jerry Jones still has his mitts on the draft by trading down in the first round and picking a center from Wisconsin who had a third-round grading at best. Showing off further ineptitude was the next selection of a tight end, leading me to believe Tony Romo won’t live to see the end of his recently-signed lucrative contract, as ignoring offensive guard and tackle help will have the QB running for his life for another year.
At least the weather is showing signs of a turnaround. Wish I could say the same.
West Coast Craig, tomorrow.
