Stamford, CT: We’re smack in the doldrums of post football, pre-baseball February, which is especially sucky when the Rangers and Knicks are both cooked. But there is plenty going on. Fergie sang a weird, sexy version of the national anthem; Lebron James lead the East to an All-Star victory; people are still trying to figure out why Malcolm Butler didn’t play in the Super Bowl, and the Indy 500 happened I think. Yeah, I don’t really care about that stuff. But thank Joe Pesci, we have the PyeongChang Olympics. And as hard as it was to root for the Eagles in the Super Bowl, that looked like a pretty epic parade. And I’m not one of those guys who throws the word “epic” recklessly.
Cross Country Skiing and Shooting?
You never know what sport is going to catch you in the Olympics. I think my favorite moment in so far has been the photo finish in the biathlon. I used to think the biathlon had no business being an Olympic sport. Shooting targets and cross country skiing? Yeah, wake me up hockey comes on. Or when they’re shooting at each other. Some guy from France edged out some guy from Germany by inches just by sticking out his boot first. The French guy slammed his pole, thinking he had lost, but the photo finish showed him winning by a toe. The German will have a long four years to think about that late boot kick.
Mere seconds after cross country skiing uphill for a half an hour, displaying Herculean cardiovascular fitness, these guys weren’t even breathing heavy. The Frenchman did an interview as if he just finished lunch. Epic level fitness.
Waiting for Ryan Lochte
Shawn White’s texts to the former drummer in his rock band were pretty creepy. Watching his flawless last run to win gold was impressive, but the old “don’t forget about the balls” (paraphrase) text took away some of the luster. Wait, Shawn White is in a rock band?
I know he’s only a snowboarder, but the guy made Beavis sound like Higgins from Magnum PI. It wasn’t the worst advice, if solicited, but these texts were not a good look. I didn’t know any of this at the time, NBC didn’t feel the need to mention it.
Then we had a San Francisco DJ call gold medal winning snowboarder Chloe Kim a “little hot piece of ass.” I like a good Wooderson reference as much as the next guy, but she’s freaking 17. Imagine training day in and day out for Olympic glory, fighting for a little respect, and along comes some fat, radio blowhard calling you a P.O.A. Patrick Connor, aka P-Con, (anyone called “P-Con” has a 97% chance of being a douche) apologized after a day of reflecting (translation: realizing his career was on the line). Come on man, draw the line somewhere above demeaning underage Olympic athletes. And he needed a day to realize he should apologize, his parents must be proud.
The Underdog Parade
It was hard to root for the Eagles in the Super Bowl, but it was the lesser of two horrible evils. I wouldn’t go so far to say it was the Sophie’s Choice of Super Bowls, but it was a pretty tough call. I gotta admit, I didn’t mind watching the parade though.
After a dude literally ate sh!t and then seeing the requisite car fires and such, like everyone else, I expected the people of Philly to represent themselves poorly. But from Jason Kelce’s epic speech to people from all classes, races, and neighborhood coming together and getting down on the street, it looked pretty epic. I’ll officially get back to hating them….now.
Come back tomorrow for Angry Ward, a man who only eats organic horse poop. You can follow us on Twitter at @BenWhit8, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.
